My parents found out...

[Panda26]

I'm looking for as much advice as possible. I'm a girl who never thought I could possibly be gay until I met this girl who is now my girlfriend of two years. Her mom found out early on about our relationship and ended our relationship. We tried to end it but we both found it nearly impossible and heart breaking. We got back together realising we had to be much more discreet about it. (We're in the same school). In the past 2 years we've both done better academically than ever before with each other's support and we've got an amazing, caring relationship that makes it worth getting up in the morning. A few weeks ago my parents found a letter she had given me and I had to confess. They were disgusted and have made my home life extremely tense. They haven't done anything drastic like contact her mom yet because I've begged them. They have now decided that they are going to force us to break up or they are refusing to pay for my tertiary education.... I REALLY DON'T WANT TO. (Me and my girlfriend are 17 turning 18 this year)

Any advice on how to handle this situation please

[Virgil]

That's horrible, what your parents are doing. No one should have to choose between love and an education. Unfortunately, there doesn't seem to be an easy way out of this. Perhaps you could "break-up" and carry on with your relationship discreetly? If push comes to shove, though, you do what your heart tells you. No one can tell you what to do or how to feel. Your love together is just as valid as the love between a guy and a girl, and if you two make each other better people, then I see no reason to actually comply with your parents. Lots of hugs, and PM if you need to talk.

Hey there,

I am so very sorry that you are having to deal with this. It is so difficult to deal with family who is not supportive and I am sure it is absolutely heart-breaking that they are giving you an ultimatum like this. I am not 100% certain what to advise because it is so complicated. Have you considered looking into any options you might have in order to finance your schooling without them? I know that is probably not something you'd be able to do but it might be worth it to talk to someone at the schools you are hoping to attend.

If you are unable to afford school without them you might have to 'break up' but continue seeing one another without their knowledge. I had a friend or two who had to do this and it was no easy. It definitely made things within the relationship a bit more difficult but it might be your only option.

One thing I want to say is that your parents are blackmailing you in order to get you to do what they want. It's unfortunate that they are choosing to go this route and I hope with time they will change their opinion. However, if they do not change their minds, you can get to a better place without them. You do not deserve this treatment and there is absolutely nothing wrong with you being gay.

I don't know that this helped much but please know I am here if you ever need someone to talk to.

Best regards.