Triggering (SH): Self harm and Parents

[flooof]

Hi guys,
I'm new to this website and I'm worried about how my parents will react to my self harm (mostly cutting). I have been really good at hiding cuts, but recently I have been more careless in the way I hide them (not wearing jumpers etc.). Anyway, my brother saw my cuts just very recently and said "show me your arm" very carelessly. I hate those things about people. Anyway, he is most probably going to tell my parents, and I'm worried how they are going to react. They are mostly supportive about multiple things, yet, I feel like its going to be different with this. My mother is most likely either going to hate me as I "made her feel like a terrible parent" or she'll be supportive. I'm just concerned about what they are going to say. Is there any advice that you can give me to help me deal with my parents if and when they find out? Thank-you heaps in advance.

[Arabesque- golfing girl.]

Hello and welcome to teenhelp, we are so glad that you have joined hugs.

I am so sorry that you are having a hard time with this right now. When someone finds out about self harm it's hard, because they are thinking about so many things and they don'tknow what to do right away. And also sometimes others don't fully understand why you are doing this. Can you try talking with you're school counselor and letting them know that you are having a hard time with this and or a teacher that you like and trust at school. You can see if they can help you to talk with you're parents about this if you want to. Are you able to talk about this to you're friends too?

When you get the feeling to do this, try going for a walk or putting on music or a funny TV show to make you laugh to get you're mind off of this. I hope that you will be ok soon. And you can post more when you need to. Lots of hugs.

[hocus pocus]

Parents react differently to self-harm and but it depends on the person and the family dynamics. Sometimes they react with anger initially because it is hard for them and then they calm down after thinking about it. So, definitely try to give your parents some time to cool down and think things over and then see what happens afterwards.

If your mom says that you made her look like a bad parent know that you did not. Self-harm doesn’t usually have much to do with parenting (unless the parent is a factor in the child feeling like harming themselves). Self-harm doesn’t discriminate and anyone or any family can be impacted by it.

Do you feel comfortable talking to your parents about it if they find out? If so, maybe you can sit down and have a conversation when things cool down. You could let them know what they can do to help you through this. If not, you can also write a note if you find that to be easier.

Best of luck and keep us updated if you’d like.