I love being alone. Is there something wrong with me?

[Elle_94]

Hi all,

I'm a nineteen year old girl, currently at university (I live at home, not in halls/with friends, if that impacts anything) and I'm working part time at a local secondary school. I have a long term partner, who I love a lot, and I'm very close to my mum and older sister. I have a small group of friends (though not close friends) at university and one or two others that I still see from school. But I'm realising more and more that I just love being on my own. I love being home alone, I love shopping alone, eating alone, going to the cinema alone... you name it. I love my partner and my family, and I do enjoy spending time with them perhaps once or twice a week but I just don't exactly miss them when they're not around.
As I said in terms of friends, I have some, but I'm not close to them and to be honest I have no real interest in trying to form a more solid friendship with any of them, or meeting new friends either. I don't really make much effort to see them outside of uni, it's an 'every so often' sort of thing, and I do feel bad about it sometimes but It just doesn't interest me. I'd rather just do my own thing, without anyone else there. But then I feel like at nineteen, I should be really enjoying nights out with friends and shopping trips with other girls and stuff. And people always tell me that uni is the place you make your life long friends, but that's not really happening for me. I'm kinda worried there's something wrong with me or that I'm just weird. I worry that I'll end up completely alone. I don't mean to be mean or rude to others in my life, I just really like my own company.

Thank you in advance
Elle

[matthewmatters]

There was this guy who let me come over to his house, he was 20 at the time and about a month after he said he liked to be left on his own and when i messaged him on his 21st, he said he'd no longer have friends over. I'm not sure what everyones definitions of alone are, as he was living with his family - his parents and all siblings there.

As for yourself, you just have to think if you have the need for you time more than most people, as you seemed to suggest just now. It won't be an issue though, long as the people in your life can accept that

[The Darkness]

Hi Elle. I think if you feel good and comfortable and content in your life right now, who's to say there's anything wrong? To some people it may be strange to hear about someone in uni not wanting to make friends because the majority of people want to meet new people, but like I said if you're good on your own with your friends and family and s/o then who's to say it's bad?
If at one point you feel lonely or want new friends, don't deny yourself that. It's not a bad thing to not want to meet new people but it's also not a bad thing to want to meet new people. But for now, I think, imho, you're good if you feel good within yourself.

[Celyn]

While it is good to have some friends, there isn't anything wrong with preferring doing things by yourself either. It sounds like you have a few friends and that's what matters most. While many people think that uni is about having loads of friends and nights out it doesn't mean that is what you should be doing, especially if that's just not you. Everyone has different social needs and some people are just a bit more introverted than others and there is nothing wrong with that.

If you want to be close friends or have more friends, then you would need to try to spend more time with others. But if it's not something you feel a desire for, then there's nothing wrong with that either.

[Headbanger80]

It's pretty much normal. Some people enjoy being alone while some enjoy the company of other people.

I enjoy my own company, but there are times when I want to be in the company of others. I can last maybe one or two hours surrounded by people before getting annoyed and wanting to withdraw into my own space. There's really nothing wrong with that as Raf and Hollie have said, it's your choice. If you do, at some point, want to become more social and meet new people, there's no need to deny yourself that.

Personally, I think there's a lot more to uni than meeting new friends and staying out partying until 2 AM on Saturday nights. You know what your priorities are, and while that may change in the next few years, focus on that now. Don't worry about being the odd one out or the lack of a social life. Everyone's different. I was always holed up in my dorm when I was away at uni and had no friends. It's been ten years since I left and I have not reconnected with anyone over social media.

I am actually quite content on my own. I do have the desire to make friends which is one of the reasons I joined a book club in my community and I do have friends that I am close to but I don't get depressed or upset if I am alone. I can find quite a lot of contentment when I am alone.

A few years ago my dad's psychiatrist told him that it was actually really healthy that I was content being alone. There are a lot of people (my dad is one of them) who can't be alone. Like, immediately after him and my mom got divorced he was seeking out relationships. He doesn't like going on business trips for his job because he will be alone in the hotel room.

I think that if you have a healthy balance between being alone and surrounding yourself with people it is better than being on the extremes such as constantly isolating and having to constantly be around people.

[Walterhurley56]

Can't spend much time on my own, need a company. When I stay for a while on my own weird thoughts appear in my head.

[Edward G. Betlow]

I love hanging out by myself - watch TV, play games, just hearing myself think. I think it's hard to get some me-time these days, what with all the screens screaming, beeping bleeping and buzzing at you. I treasure those moments.

[caitlynz]

no I love the same

[Dawn.]

It's not always a bad thing. Sometimes, we like to be on our own and not be around people. I'm the same.

[NatalieK3]

I understand you, I feel comfortable when I'm alone. I thought something was wrong with me, but the ability to be happy alone is very good

[random.swirls]

Its not weird or wrong to like being alone. University is not all about partying and clubbing. I myself enjoy having one day a week to myself, as it gives me a chance to process and think of my own thoughts without any distractions e.g. Family . But I also enjoy having company. Its good having a balance.

Life long friends can be made at any point in life. I found my life long friend in primary school and the other one in high school

[Clarent]

Nothing wrong with that. Some people prefer the company of a small, close group of people, and enjoy spending time on their own. Don't feel pressured to try and become more social if it doesn't feel natural to you.

People are different and unique, and that's alright.