Triggering: Is his Dad/Parents in the way of our relationship or no?

[Angeleyez07]

I have been with my boyfriend for 7 years and well we aren't engaged or anything but live together so. There are other issues that come along with why we aren't engaged and its hard to explain but debt and finances and also I sometimes think that his parents aren't too fond of me and kind of makes my boyfriend think he doesn't want to ask me to marry him so. First of all when I talked to my boyfriend he said his Dad thinks we don't get along as he hears us fight and etc and he should meet someone on a dating site and my boyfriend said no I love her and it was hard to find true love and I have found true love and don't want to loose it and I love her. His Dad knows we love eachother so. What are your thoughts?

Hey there,

There should be no time frame in regards to when someone proposes. There are people who are engaged a few months after they meet and then there are people who wait a few years. If this is something that is really bothering you then I think that you should talk to your boyfriend about it. In reality he is the only one who can help you understand why you aren't engaged. If it is because of finances then maybe you two could discuss what you need to do to get to a better place financially so that he will feel comfortable marrying you.

As for his parents, I honestly don't think their feelings for you should impact him wanting to marry you. When I first started dating my boyfriend my dad asked me what I would do if he didn't like him and I told him it wouldn't impact it at all and I would continue dating him. I was honest and told him it would probably make things awkward but I liked my boyfriend enough to not care. I think the fact that your boyfriend told his dad he loved you and wants to stay with you is proof that he wants to be with you.

I hope that this helped in some way and if you need anything please feel free to message me.

[Angeleyez07]

Thank you for replying BreakingBeautifully I agree with you for sure with your advice to me
We are trying to get to where we should be financially to be able to get married in the future. I work part time right now where if I got full time no benefits would be offered and I don't like that I want benefits for me cause I have diabetes and etc so I need it to be covered or etc. I am in the process right now of finding a fulltime job but nothing has come up yet. Keep you posted. And my boyfriend is working a full time job during the week and along with a part time job on the weekend so it keeps him busy and pulls in money but that's for all his responsibilities like bills and etc. So anything he can put in savings I know he will if he can. Which is for anything like a emergency or etc. I want to get a fulltime job where I can make good money with good hours and etc so I can put money away for our future like to get married and etc. Its hard to make that kind of money on only 25 hours a week and part time minimum wage you know?

As far as my boyfriends Dad not being fond of me it doesn't matter to us as we love and care for eachother and that's all that matters right? My boyfriend told me that also. So I agree with him. It just breaks my heart that my boyfriends Dad doesn't think he should be with me and should find someone else on a dating site. And also I don't want to Marry into a family where his Dad doesn't like me you know. His Mom always asks me how I am doing when she sees me and I talk to my boyfriends Grandma but his Dads different. I sometimes feel like his Dad does that to the other brothers Wives you know. That's not right if the brothers are happy with there wives and my BF is happy with me his Dad should stay out of our lives you know?

Keep you posted how this all goes.