TeenHelp - Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Parents.... Fighting and dad having a go at you :(

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Parents.... Fighting and dad having a go at you :(

Okay, so hi. My fucking uncle was being a bitch to my mum, telling her she needs a new diet she should work out more ect. She was getting really upset so I told him to back off and all fucking hell broke loose. He started throwing a fit. Since I'm like 13 and he's 60 something and my family is European and all that jazz you HAVE to respect your elders. He was yelling at me like "HOW DARE YOU SPEAK TO ME LIKE THAT! YOU SHOULD FEEL ASHAMED OF YOURSELF!" I was sticking up for my mum, she was getting really upset, after that my mum felt really bad my uncle, his wife and kids also my nan all got up and left. After that I went to my bed room and cried my heart out, no one gave a shit about me, I went to bed. The next day I went to school and all that shit, got home. Dad came home. He called me into the living room. I sat down. He started yelling at me, telling me what I was thinking talking to his brother like that, about 4 years ago we were visiting my mums family in another state and when we left to drive back home my dad got a txt saying he wasn't welcome there any more, he still brings that up till this day. Saying 'Did anyone stick up for me!' I was fucking 8 years old and it was over fucking shitty text back then. And I WAS SUPPOSED TO FUCKING STAND FOR HIM?!? He told me I was turning out worthless like my half brothers from his ex wife he said he didn't need another 2 bitches in his life, but what stood out to me the most and everything else just buzzed. Was when he said 'we won't be a family' I didn't hear what the fuck he said after that I just burst into tears and ran to my room. He broke me, and my mum. He broke us both.

Re: Parents.... Fighting and dad having a go at you :(

Hey there,
Welcome to the side!
What happened to you and your mom sounds horrible and I can't even imagine how you're feeling. But I want you to know, that you did the right thing! No matter what your dad or anyone tells you, sticking up for your mom was the right thing and incredible brave!
Maybe you can talk with a teacher, friend, coach or some else you trust about this?
Stay strong:hug:

Re: Parents.... Fighting and dad having a go at you :(

Hey there,

I think that what happened to you was unfair. You had every right to stick up for your mom and it's unfortunate that your dad responded in that manner. I would honestly say that you ignore your dad's comments and try and go to your mom for support. I know that might be hard but I am sure there is a part of her that can relate to what you are going through and would like to try and support you through this.

I hope that this helped and I am wishing you the best of luck.

Re: Parents.... Fighting and dad having a go at you :(

Hey there. :hug:

Sounds like you're dealing with a lot of family stress and conflict. I'm really sorry about all of this, from everything you wrote, I really can understand why you'd feel so upset and broken over all of this. I hope writing it out helped you some. Do you have anyone in your life you can go to for support during all of this? Such as a trusted teacher, your school counselor or a family member? You aren't worthless at all and your feelings do matter which is why you deserve support through this.

While respecting your elders along with others in your life is important, my point of view is that you aren't wrong at all. Because your uncle was disrespecting your mom by saying such rude, hurtful things to her. You stuck up for her and that's something you should be proud of yourself for. Not everyone can be brave enough to put themselves in the middle of a heated argument to stick up for someone (which sometimes is understandable for a variety of reasons such as safety for one), but you did and that was really sweet of you to do so. It says a lot about how caring you are.

The things your dad said and him yelling at you sounds really painful to deal with. Especially being yelled at for standing up for your mother (who your dad should stand up for as well). The situation he compared this with is quite unfair because I agree, you were only 8 and at that age, you shouldn't have to focus on standing up for others when you can't quite do so yourself due to being so young. Nor should you be yelled at for not doing so.

Do you think your dad would listen if you waited until everyone was calmed down, and you talked to him about all of this? If he's willing to listen, a lot of benefit could come of calmly opening up to him about how recent events have made you feel. Along with explaining that it really hurt and scared you when he said that you wouldn't be a family. Having an honest, calm and mature conversation with him might really help improve your relationship with him.

I hope you're doing okay right now. You can message me if you need someone to talk to, okay? Take care!

Re: Parents.... Fighting and dad having a go at you :(

I've experienced similar things. It's completely demoralizing and horrible and I am so sorry you're going through this. I think the best thing is to keep in mind is that you're not wrong- that they are. What is being done is unfair. They might justify it or something but don't believe them. You know the truth and your experiences. Try to spend time with friends or have solitude because they'd just bring on more stress. And until they're ready to sit down and talk about how to improve things, nothing will improve. It's something they have to realize on their own. Plus it's up to you at that point if you want to go ahead and attempt to resolve things or not.