How to tell parents I've been self-injuring?

[Bluetears]

Hi! So, I've been wanting to tell my dad about my self-injuring habit through an email, and I was wondering what stuff I should include in it and what I should leave out. I don't want to overwhelm him with information hehe.

[luckiicloverxx]

Hey there Crystal,

It's great that you've decided to let someone close to you know!

As for what should be in the email, it really depends on what you think he would be comfortable with. Though I think the bare minimum would be a safe bet, if you're not sure with what he would be able to handle. Something that he would want to know is the reason for your self-injuring, because it may make it easier for him to understand.

Oh and also include what you hope he can help you with. Like is this an email for him to just know about it or would you like some emotional support?

I hope this helped,

Kyra

Hey there,

I think it's great you want to tell your dad about this. I know that opening up to people about your self harm can be difficult. But, I honestly think it could be a really good thing.

I don't think there is anything specific you need to tell him. I think you should tell him what you feel comfortable telling him. If all you want to tell him is that you are struggling with self harm then so be it. But, if you want you could include some ways he can support you such as finding you a counselor or someone else to talk to. You could also explain some of the reasons that you self harm. I think that is one of the biggest things my parents wanted to know when they found out I was cutting. They understood it to a certain extent but I helped clarify why I did it and it helped them a bit.

It might help if you link him to information about self harm. Read the sources and pick the ones you like the most or find most accurate and would be beneficial to your dad.

I hope this helped and best of luck.

[hocus pocus]

I'm glad to hear that you want to reach out to your dad!

Like it was already said, I think you should tell him what you're comfortable with telling him. I personally think it is better to tell parents the bare minimum at first because this is a lot to absorb and your dad is probably going to have a lot of questions as it is. I agree with telling him what he can do to help you, as well as the reasons why you self-harm. Perhaps you can tell him how long you've been doing it, too. I think providing him with some articles could be a good idea.

Let us know how it goes!

[Bluetears]

Thank you all so much! I just sent him an email. I hope he reacts well to it.. I assume he will. How has your parents reacted to finding out you've been hurting yourselves?

[hocus pocus]

Let us know how it went!

Most parents don't have the best of reactions, often because they're from a different generation and it's a lot to take in. Bear in mind that your dad probably needs some time to think through everything.

My parents didn't react very well, and part of that was because they found out through the school before they heard it from me. A few years ago, a counselor thought I was hurting myself but my body was healed and I denied it. A few years afterwards, they found out again and I had to go to the nurse to get it looked at. My parents were not happy with me. Shortly after, I had to go back again, and this time, they just didn't say anything to me at all. My parents were unaware of the causes for my self-harm, and they didn't find out until a year or two later. I was put in therapy but I didn't find a therapist that I click with until recently. Now that they know the reasons behind my self-harm and my other struggles, they're supportive about things. I generally give them the least amount of information that I can. I'll say I had a rough night or a nightmare, but I don't ever go into detail. If I'm not hiding my emotions in front of them, they generally know that something is wrong regardless of whether or not I tell them.

[Bluetears]

Thankfully, it went pretty well. We talked a bit through email until I was comfortable with speaking "in the real world". Turns out both of my parents used to harm themselves. My mom only did it once though. I felt horrible and anxious at first, but I feel a bit better now