Girlfriend's homophobic, abusive parents found out about us

[facethecrowd]

As of Sunday afternoon my girlfriend of almost 9 months' parents discovered that we were dating and that she has depression and cuts herself and ever since then it's been hell for both of us. They took her phone, took the wifi, took all the stuff I gave her, basically left her with just a bed and a TV. The only way we've been able to communicate is through her friend's phones at school and I'm really concerned for her safety. She said her parents haven't hit her since they found out but they called her a fuck up and a freak and disgusting and nobody in her house is speaking to her. We haven't broken up and have no plans to but it's a very stressful and upsetting situation for both of us, we both struggle with severe depression and self harm and are both actively suicidal right now. We see eachother every other month usually, which wasn't nearly enough to begin with and now I can't see us being together until I get my license this summer. I know she's struggling a lot and so am I, I cut multiple times a day and pop pills and drink and basically spend my days trying to distract myself and stop the pain. This was my biggest fear and now that it's happening I have no idea what to do. I'm not gonna give up on her or us but I can't live without her and I really really wanna die but I know i have to be strong for her.

I don't know what to do to help her and I was just wondering if any of you have been through a similar situation or could give me input or advice, it would mean a lot to me.

[Kyeto-X]

My first concern, and yours as well, should be your safety. I've learned the hard way that you cannot help another person while you are struggling yourself. So, absolute first thing on the list is for you to get to a safe place emotionally. I am really worried that you mentioned suicidal thoughts. If these get so bad that you cannot fight them. PLEASE CALL A HOTLINE!. You will not be doing your girlfriend any good if you are struggling yourself. You need to be safe. Even if you have to be hospitalized for a few days, that is preferable to the alternative.

Second, is to contact your school counselor about your girlfriend's family. Schools are a safe place and are required by law to look into any instances of abuse reported to them. And what your girlfriend is going through is tantamount to abuse. So let an adult know. They might be able to intervene and get your girlfriend out of that situation and into someplace safer.

I know you said that you need to be strong for her, but you cannot be strong if you are suffering. when you ride an airplane, and they give the safety speech about the oxygen mask, one of the things they tell you is to put your own mask on first BEFORE you help those around you. The same idea applies here. You should help your girlfriend if you are not able to keep yourself in a safe place. So, when you talk to the school counselor, please be honest and let them know that you are struggling as well.

I hope this makes sense and I really really hope this works out for you.