Parents won't let me go to my dream college because of my boyfriend

[Juliaf]

My boyfriend and I have been dating since the end of my sophomore year (his junior year) in high school. He is now a freshman in college and goes to the college that I have dreamed about going to since I was a little kid. Not only did my mom go there but the school is a great fit for me since they have the subject that I want to study (Many other schools don't offer the course). Now because of him my parents will not let me go there and it is causing a lot of problems. This is one of the few schools that has this program and the other schools don't really compare. They will not budge on this because they believe that if we go to college together I won't branch out and make new friends. This isn't true and I wouldn't spend all of my time with him. I just love the school and know that I could study everything that I want there/ enjoy myself. Even if I don't stay with my boyfriend the school is big so I could go on with my life. Obviously I would be upset but it wouldn't ruin my experience. I understand that my parents may think that they are helping me but they're keeping me from going to my dream school. I would really appreciate your advice on this and if you have examples of hs couples who went to the same college or went to the same college a year apart. Thank you. Sincerely Julia

Hey there,

I don't know if I can be of much help on this but I thought I would try. If your parents are the ones who are going to be paying for your schooling you might have to do what they want you to do and go to a school of their choosing. However, maybe you could try making a list of reasons why you want to go to this particular college. Maybe write a letter that is detailed so they will see that you have thought out all the pros and cons of going to the same college as your boyfriend and then you could either read it to them or put it in a place where they are likely to see it. It's possible that if you make a convincing enough argument you will be able to get them to change their minds.

Have you sat down with them and listened to their concerns about you and your boyfriend and tried voicing why you don't feel as though that is a concern? It might help if you did that.

In the end you might have to consider looking into the other colleges that offer your program and commit to one of them. I know it sucks but if they won't budge and they are your only source of financial backing then you might not have any choice. You could always try looking into other ways of paying for college instead of using your parents (if that is how you are going to be paying for it) but that might prove difficult.

I hope this helped in some way and I am wishing you the best of luck.

Hi Juliaf,

I agree with Breaking Beautifully. If your parents are the ones paying for your education, then you may just have to roll with the punches. I know it sucks, but that's parents for ya. They often don't see things the way that their kids see things. Your parents think that if you two attend the same school, then you won't make any friends. But are they sending you to school so that you can make friends or get an education?

I mean making friends is important, but at the same time, I don't think that's what their main focus should be. I agree that you should make a list of why you should attend this school and let your parents know of the benefits. Try ensuring them that your world doesn't revolve around your boyfriend and that you will be sociable. Besides, it's probably a big school and it would be kind of hard to not make any friends.

It does put a damper on things sometimes, when your parents are in control and you feel helpless. However, look on the bright side. Once you do go away to school, your'e pretty much in control of what you do and the decisions you make. Your parents won't be in control forever.