I think I have an ED but I'm afraid to tell my parents...

[depressedandalone]

I dropped about [Edited.] just in the space of a month. I'm always hungry but I'm afraid to eat or else I'll become fat. I've always thought I was fat for my whole life, but I've never stopped eating like this before.

I have so many bruises all over me and I don't even know where they came from. My clothes literally fall of off me. I'm always so dizzy and feel sick.
I know mom suspects me but she hasn't done anything about it. Some days I wish she would. But I can't tell my parents, I just can't. When I was in 6th grade I was treated for depression, anxiety disorders, PTSD, and ADHD. Now I'm just the trouble child. Always crying and having panic attacks and making people's lives more difficult.

Dad hates me and always tells me there's nothing wrong with me and I need to shut up and behave. I couldn't tell my mom, I couldn't. She'll tell dad and he'll yell at me and I'm going to be stuck like this for the rest of my life. Wanting to eat and be normal but unable to, too afraid to try.

I don't know what to do anymore. I'm too young to have to be having these problems, I just want someone to help me but at the same time fear is holding me back. I want to be normal but I can't eat. I want my parents to find out but I'm afraid of my dad, I'm afraid he won't let me get help. Dad never lets me go to the hospital even after all this time, after all these problems. He thinks my family can help me heal when all they do is hurt.

What should I do? Is there even anything left to do or am I, once again, cornered without a way to get out?

[maer995]

You just did the biggest step you needed to take, you admitted you have a problem and this is not very typical people with an ED wont admit they have a problem. You are very mature and obviously all your past experiences have taught you that your body isnt reacting well to what you are doing. You can stop whenever you want, there are a lot of more things you can do to stay thin and not eating shouldnt be one of them. Try a vegan diet, it will make you feel healthy and believe me you wont gain that much weight. Do exercise because it releases hormons that will make you feel happier, dont let hunger become a comfortable feeling because its not!! You are not too young to have this problems no one is ever too young or too old. The only help you need is yourself, you dont have to go to hospital you can start this yourself no one needs to know. Have breakfast tomorrow morning knowing that you can eat whatever you want cos what you eat for breakfast you will burn during the day (im not making this up btw!) If your stomach doesnt take it try with some coffee with milk and sugar! Buy some honey for when you feel like you might faint because its a very good source of energy. Dont be scared you can get through this you seem like a strong girl. Have snacks if you cant handle a whole meal. See how it goes and then if you realise you still cant eat then make up an excuse and go to hospital without your parents know.. stay strong and good luck xxx

[depressedandalone]

Thanks. I'm going to try what you said, your post really made me feel better.

[stelles]

Hey,
I think that while trying to overcome this yourself is okay for some things, this is a situation where a parent could be extremely helpful. You could talk to your mom and ask her not to say anything to your dad, which she may or may not do, but it's worth a shot. Also, you could try talking to your school counselor. They are always very kind and helpful. They may be required to tell your parents, but they will help you be more confident about that. If your dad finds out, try talking to him and telling him that you need more help than just your family's support. Communication is important.

It's not really fair to you or your parents to hide something this big from them. Telling someone about something like this can be scary, but everyone I know who has told their parents about any major issues they're going through has been glad they did. They can help, and it sounds like your mom would be happy to. Having an ED is nothing to be ashamed of. It's not something you can really control, and most people need help to treat them. If your dad is upset or angry, then he just doesn't understand exactly what an ED is.

You aren't too young to have difficulties. Everyone has problems in life. It totally sucks that you have to go through all this, especially when you're still young, but it's perfectly normal for younger people to go through difficult times. You just need some help to get through it.

Excersize is good, but too much isn't. You CAN overexcersize, and that's possibly worse than not excersizing at all. Instead of starving yourself, try eating small things at first, like a few snacks a day, and then work up to larger meals. Try to get your eating habits back to three meals and some snacks a day (the recommended amount). If you have a lot of energy and aren't hungry, try doing a little excersize, like going on a run, lifting, or playing a sport. If you feel tired, exhausted, or haven't eaten all day, try to keep excersize to a minimum.

That said, I strongly recommend that you tell a parent. It's the best thing you can do in your situation. Good luck