Told my parents - Am I being selfish to be disappointed?

[terminallyCapricious]

Over Christmas break I told my parents I had a boyfriend. This is my first boyfriend I've ever had (until now I've only ever dated girls). They've known for a while I liked both boys and girls, and have never been hateful or angry about it - they just clearly wish I'd stick to women, and try to tell me how bad of an idea it is to date or sleep with other guys. We still have a good relationship, and I know they want what's best for me, even if they're wrong about what that is.

Their response to finding out I was dating a guy was the same as always. They're clearly not super happy about it, but they said they respected by choice. They told me they didn't want to hear any details (a stark contrast to the eager request for information about various girlfriends). They didn't even want to know his name. My dad told me all about how most people would think less of me if they found out, and then felt the need to call me on the phone later that day to tell me that if I ever was with a woman in the future, most women wouldn't want to date someone who had had "gay sex."

As silly as it all was, I can't help but feel disappointed by their response. It could be so much worse, I know. Friends have been disowned, kicked out of their houses, cut off financially, and worse, all for something tiny like this. My parents still love me and we're still on great terms. Why do I feel let down by this? Am I being selfish to want their acceptance of this?

I just want my parents to respect who I choose to love. If I brought my boyfriend home to meet them, they'd be reluctant to even let me bring him. My mom's told me before she wouldn't want me bringing a boy home.

[TakeMeHigher]

I'm really sorry they have reacted in that way. It is good they are accepting, to a degree, but they also seem very ignorant.
Please don't believe them, it's not a bad idea at all and if you did date women in the future, the one's who care, don't matter. There isn't much chance of them caring who you've slept with in the past seeing as our generation is growing up to be much more accepting and tolerant than the last.

The truth is, they may become more accepting and begin to respect your choices, but they may not. They're obviously in denial, so it may pass.

Just act normal, mention your boyfriend's name when you're telling you're parents things 'im going to cinema with ....' ect... if you act normally about it, they will hopefully do the same.... in time.

Just accept it will take time. They seem open enough to do so, eventually.

[¯|_(ツ)_|¯]

You're not selfish at all for wanting your family to respect who you are dating, or at least to give them a chance and actually meeting them before judging them. It may be that they don't fully understand what it means to be in the LGBT+ community, or what you are going through.

I couldn't have said it any better than TakeMeHigher. If you date a girl in the future, the ones that truly care about you will respect your sexuality and realize that you are with HER, not with a guy, and that you love HER.

You shouldn't have to walk on eggshells around them, though. You have every right to be with this guy and have fun with him, and I agree about acting normally.

You're not wrong to be selfish, though. Even though they still love you and haven't done anything catastrophic, you still deserve their support!

-Dez