Both parents have a mental illness..can't cope!

[Ella.]

Didn't know where to post this...

Just needed to let this out somewhere though because I'm getting so stressed and anxious because of my parents :|

My dad has bipolar and my mum has depression...they're impossible to live with! My mum overreacts to things but then my dad can't understand why she's overreacting or realise what she's going through. They moan about each other constantly and it's impossible to please both of them. I've had to comfort my mum so many times when she's hysterical saying she wants to kill herself or leave my dad. Then I have to listen to my dad talk about how he isn't wrong and how my mum overreacts all the time. I know I need to be understanding of them both but it's just so hard! Me, my brother and sister all have anxiety issues and it's definitely partly to do with the stressful environment we live in! Now my mum seems to seriously be thinking about leaving my dad which makes me so anxious. I'd be worried that my dad would do something stupid like stop taking his medication or quit his job if she said she was going to divorce him..and sometimes I'm worried that I'll get home and my mum won't be there.. It's horrible.

We're also tight on money and my mum keeps going on about how we're going to have to sell our house and that my dad is pretending we're alright when we're not. It makes me so anxious!

I just feel like I can't deal with this anymore, I'm constantly anxious/stressed and I wish they'd of divorced ages ago instead of raising us like this

[Chris]

Hey there, Elise.

I'm really sorry to hear about your current living situation. I can't imagine how things are in your household, however from what you described they seem to be very hectic and unhealthy. You know, we can't help but wonder "what if". It's a natural thing to do, and sometimes we over do it. But what we need to stop (as humans), is letting "what if" situations control our lives.

What I mean by that is you can't assume (or predict) what is going to happen; and unfortunately you can't really control what is going to happen. Understand that things will eventually need to change (for the better or for the worse), and the only time you can successfully deal with them is once they are present. My point is, you're currently putting so much stress and anxiety on yourself right now, that you're most likely worsening the health issues that you have, and doubling the chance of adopting more.

"What if I come home and my mom isn't here?", "What if my dad stops taking his medicine IF [or when] my mother tells him she wants a divorce?", "What if we lose our house?", "What if my dad quits his job?", "What if my mother takes a turn for the worse?", "Why didn't they divorce years ago so things could be different?", "What if things just take a turn for the worse?".

Thinking about, and holding onto these questions can cause some pretty nasty things to happen to your health (both physical, emotional). While some of these questions may be more serious than others (and some might even happen eventually), the best way to handle these situations is if you distance yourself away from these questions, and deal with them if (and when) they happen.

Your health is your number one priority, not thinking about what may or may not happen in the future. So try to find some way to get you (and maybe even your siblings) out of the house for a bit. Try joining more clubs or sports, or try going to see a school counselor. On the other hand, I also recommend bloging, journaling, drawing, exercising, etc to get these "questions" and "concerns" off your mind.

Go with the flow and deal with the issues as they come. Things will get better, but only if you believe they will.


Best wishes,
Chris

[Ella.]

Thanks for your advice, I do have anxiety issues so tend to worry about every little thing! My anxiety has gotten a lot better this year but then obviously family stresses and stuff make it worse again! I'm just sick of dealing with both of my parents, sometimes it's impossible to get through to them...I am going to try to get out of the house a lot to get away from the stress! I'm going away with my sister for a week soon so I think that'll help me feel better! Things are okay at home at the moment, they just flare up now and then :/. I'm so tired of dealing with it and trying to solve my parents' arguments!