Triggering (Grieving): HOW THE ALCOHOL TOOK CONTROL OF MY DADS LIFE

[InMyTimeOfDying]

my dad has been an alcoholic since as long as i can remember, my parents have been divorced since i was a little girl, which i cannot remember so much of. but im not here to tell you all the bullshit i struggled with without my dad in the picture. i'm here to tell you, about how alcohol is killing him and im scared. because the man i've grown to hate, and self-destruct over, is dying. his liver is not functioning at all, and his kidneys are starting to shut down. the doctors say maybe a few days or weeks left, compared to the 2 years they said before it go this bad. not enough time to know him, not enough time to try. they are saying hospice and then next DNR (DO NOT RESUSCITATE). im so scared, but i am numb to all of it, i cannot believe this is happening. the thing that scares me the most besides him dying, is me dying inside, and not bein able to live without him. HELP!

[Everglow.]

Heyy Katie.
I'm so sorry to hear all of what you're going through. Losing people is always hard to cope with, but could you spend some time with him while you can? just to try and regain the father daughter relationship and know that you were there for him. there's always time to try with people, and it might help you in the end.
Again, i'm sorry to hear what you're going through. feel free to PM me if you ever need to talk, i'm always willing to listen. Keep strong.
Best wishes to you and your family diring this hard time. x

[Katrina]

Hey Katie,

First of all, let me just extend an online-hug (which I know isn't much, sometimes) and a listening ear to you. Anytime. This past fall, my mom went through an incident in which her liver began to function very, very improperly. Our doctors also said that she probably wouldn't make it. Yet, five months later, I just got done eating a delicious lunch with my family, cooked by my mom. I say that to say that hope is real, and that people really surprise doctors sometimes. Hope always, always helps.

It almost feels like an out-of-body experience, or at least it did to me, when my mom was going through that. I think numb would be a word I would've used as well. Its going to be difficult, I think, but I think you should take this week and follow your heart in deciding what to do with your dad. I just don't feel like there's enough time, EVER, to be angry at others, especially when we fear losing them. I truly, truly think, from the bottom of my heart, if you have any ounce of desire to forgive him and try to go spend time with him in this week, that you absolutely should.

I wish I knew more of what the right words were, here...or the answers... but I'm just going to once again send many, many positive thoughts your way - of determination, of strength, and of peacefulness. Please take care of yourself.