Triggering (Substances): Weed, alcohol, prescriptions

[wonderbread]

Point by point.

I drink. But before, it was occasional. With my dad and his girl, his girls son, or when I was with my brother and his friend. But now, if I can get my hands on beer I drink it. If there is an open bottle of liquor and it won't be too noticable. You bet, Im drinkin that too!

My dad and his girlfriend don't want me smoking weed. Karri( dads girl) knows her son does it and is fine with it. When my dad and karri aren't home and hes out on the porch, I'll take hits. I really enjoy it when they aren't home. I always look forward to it. I crave it, wanting more. Only if I had money coming in, I would buy it from him, but I have none. Its making me want to try other things too, and I know if Im offered something else, I'll do it.

For the last several years, I have been taking a lot of tylonal or things of that sort. About six times the normal dosage. I know it doesn't do anything really but it just makes me chill. When there are other prescriptions around, I take a handful and down them, it is like I am always searching for prescriptions. Just recently I have found my dads prescriptions and taking about five of those at a time. The high afterwards is amazing. Im always looking for a high. It doesn't matter what it is, I'll take it just to get away from my reality and feel good.

I don't know if I want to keep going or try to stop all of this. I actually really don't want to stop. I want to feel good, I want to get away. I just know Im going down a path thats lookin really good and can screw things up, I know I should be running in the other direction screaming for help. But Im not. Im willing to take that chance. There is no way in hell that I am telling my father this.


I really dont know why I posted. I think I just needed to get this off my chest

[MechanicGodCreation]

Ashleyy,

You know I love you You're a lovely girl, and shouldn't be taking this road. It isn't healthy!

Although the occasional drinking is pretty normal, even though you are underage, if you can't drink responsibly it isn't worth it. Thankfully you are not in a position to get alcohol easily. The problem is, if you haven't changed your outlook by the time you are, this could change into an even bigger problem. Try things to keep you busy, you can't drink if you don't have the time. I know how hard it is that your boyfriend is away, and I don't want you to think that this is a good coping strategy. Think of how upset he would be if he knew his special girl was doing this to herself.

The alternatives thread can give you some ideas for things that would keep you busy, but my best reccomendation is just keeping active of busy, out of the house. Getting involved in your community or just going for walks.

The weed is kind of a similar situation, I'd say, although it is illegal in most places, so is underage drinking . Many, many people do it, and in moderation is isn't really that bad. That being said, it would be much better if you didn't do it. And even more, it's making you want to try something more, something stronger. I think this is the bigger problem here. You need to be able to control your urges to go further. The best way to do that, to begin with, is to stop smoking the weed. Surely with it being around you all the time, this is no easy feat.

Of course the suggestion I gave for the alcohol, still stands for this as well. But you could maybe try chewing gum, or one of those tobacco quitting techniques. It might be helpful! But if it's the high you're looking for, you should try and find it in a more healthy way. Volunteering is a great way to do that. Try a new hobby, drawing, writing, something. Boredom is the biggest advosary when fighting smokiing or drugs. Many people get started with weed (among other things) because they have nothing better to do..

Now, on to the tylenol and general pills issue. The thing is with those kinds of medications, it's dangerous because everyone is different. Everyone has a different natural tolerance, or lack there of. You can never -really- know how many is going to be too many. Also, if you've been doing this for a while, no doubt you've built up an even stronger tolerance. Which as well as voiding the effects when you actually need the medication, it will make you crave more and more until you really do yourself some major harm. Talk to your doctor, find out the effects of what you're doing, maybe scare yourself out of this. Also, they can reccommend some ways you can kick pill addictions, and probably even help you with it themself.

I think you need to write a letter to your boyfriend, and express exactly how you feel about where he is, how scared you are, how much it's affecting you. Then tie it to a balloon and let it float into the air, or let it go in a river, or rip it up. Something like that to let your emotions out. These substance abuse situations you're getting yourself into, are really not healthy.

One last thing I'd like to add, no matter how tempting it is to go deeper into drugs, please don't do that. I can promise you it will destroy your life, and badly effecct the lives of those around you. The harder drugs are even worse for withdrawal, and addictions, and it's just all around a bad scene. I can say it from experience, that this is not worth it.

Take care of yourself, you know I care about you and what happens so, if you ever need support or anything I'm just a PM or even IM away.

-Dylan

[Synaestheasiaen]

Ashley, i highly recommend doing some real unbiased reasearch on the drugs you are ingesting because not only are some of pills you are taking completely pointless, the dosage of tylenol you've been taking can be lethal. Trust me, you do not want to go down the road of drugs if you're this prone to taking anything you can get your hands on. You're already going down the wrong path by ODing on something that gives absolutely no high value and is lethal in large doses such as tylenol. Come on. You really aren't missing out on anything and I would never recommend you trying any mind altering substances until you can gain a stable head about all this.