Triggering: I need help...

[TH Anonymous]

[SIZE="a"]I'm addicted to porn, self-harm, and cigerattes. Take this, I am under 16, I found my parents cigerattes and tried one, then another, then another, and now I take one whenever I can and find a lighter. I've been addicted to self-harm for two years now, and porn for just as long. What do I do? My parents know about the self-harm but not about the other stuff.[/size]

[Moxie.]

Hey,

Thank you for writing in! Addictions of any sort can be challenging to overcome. However, it is always possible.

One of the keys to successfully overcoming substance use is finding replacement behaviors. For cigarette smoking, this could look like sucking on lollipops or straws to replicate the feeling of inhaling the cigarette smoke, using a fidget toy to replace the feeling of the cigarette between your fingers, or chewing gum to help with the oral fixation. You may also be able to find alternative products that are nicotine free designed to help people quit smoking. Although not specifically designed to help people quit smoking, I've personally found cinnamon gum to be the most helpful because of the intense flavor.

Acknowledging self harm as an addiction is a great first step. Determining the reason you self harm is important, as it will help you figure out alternative outlets. For instance, if you self harm because you're angry, you might go for a run or scream into a pillow. If you're anxious, you can try relaxation techniques, such as taking a warm bath or using scented products to help soothe yourself. You may also want to consider looking at these threads, which provide a number of alternatives to self harm based on what you're needing in the moment. If one thing doesn't work for you, move on to another alternative. What works for one person may not work for another. It can take a few tries before you find what works best for you.

Porn addiction can definitely be challenging to overcome. You might want to consider putting a child blocker on your laptop to prevent you from visiting those websites. While you will still know the password, seeing the pop-up may serve as a reminder that you are trying to stop engaging with porn. Alternatively, you could see if your web browser is able to generate a strong password and input that without saving it. Those passwords are difficult to memorize and will be a solid barrier to prevent you from visiting those websites. You can also try putting your computer in a public space, such as your living room, as a deterrent. Finding other outlets or distractions can also be helpful. For example, if you feel the need to visit one of those sites, you can try spending some time outside or turning on a favorite movie or TV show.

I know it can be challenging, but I have faith that you can overcome your addictions.

Take care,
Sam