Triggering: NON PG-13 Some form of sexual addiction? | Advice

[LadyAnneOfWarwick]

This is gonna sound really weird and mods delete this thread if this isn't allowed but i think i have some form of sexual addiction. It's been going on my whole i was exposed to pornography at a very young age (at toddler age) i accidentally bought a film on tv that showed a man sucking another mans you-know-what im trying to keep this as PG as possible .

And its been going on in elementary school too i would constantly think about sex and do you know what under my desk all the time i started doing it when i was 5 and at 10 my school counselor told me to "keep my hands where they belong" im 14 now and i havent stopped.

At 8, i started developing this attraction to older guys (im a girl btw) and when i was 11 i started to be homeschooled by my grandparents which was a bad idea. i started talking to older guys online and it ranged from just sexting to literally going on camera with them and watching them uhh jerk their "things" (I AM SO SORRY YOU CAN DELETE THIS IF THIS ISN'T ALLOWED) and them sending me pictures of their genitals and videos of them you-know-whatting. (again PG)

I got caught lying about my age saying i was 20 last year when i was 12 - 13 to flirt with older guys and i havent stopped but this time im ACTUALLY honest about my age (im 14) and i go on kids chats and talk to these men..

And i can't stop masturbating and watching porn too i actually almost got caught watching it on tv at 10 and i got two weeks punishment bc they were suspicious.

I've been doing this since i was 11 and i don't know how to stop i have told a therapist about this but they shrugged it off like they didn't care and now this is probably the only place i can talk about and maybe get some advice but if this isn't allowed delete because i dont want to get banned.

I've already reported one guy to police and the others i've been contemplating reporting them to cybertipline but cybertip never respond i just need help and please understand i know im 14 and shouldnt be doign this but i REALLY need help like REALLY. its like a drug addiction that i cant get rid of and people think im gross.. please help..

[Rivière]

It definitely seems like you have some form of problem. I would see about trying to get a visit to your local doctor and discuss with them your issues. If they ask that you need your parents with you, just explain to them that it will make the situation difficult to discuss with them around.

Your parents will find out one way or another, but right now you have control over when, and how that happens. It's best that they find out what's been going on by fact that you chose to get professional help, than them find out and potentially react poorly. Not all parents are going to be supportive of what you're going through and will simply make your situation worse by depriving you of the habit you're trying to break in an unhelpful manner.

When you say that you reported a guy to the police, and are considering reporting the others, are they actually aware of your real age? If so, then I commend you on doing so because they know your age and should know better. However, if you're reporting them under the belief you're actually of age, that's not very fair. A lot of men end up going to jail for situations just like this, as they were under genuine belief they thought the person they were chatting with, was of age.

[LadyAnneOfWarwick]

Originally Posted by Rivière

It definitely seems like you have some form of problem. I would see about trying to get a visit to your local doctor and discuss with them your issues. If they ask that you need your parents with you, just explain to them that it will make the situation difficult to discuss with them around.

Your parents will find out one way or another, but right now you have control over when, and how that happens. It's best that they find out what's been going on by fact that you chose to get professional help, than them find out and potentially react poorly. Not all parents are going to be supportive of what you're going through and will simply make your situation worse by depriving you of the habit you're trying to break in an unhelpful manner.

When you say that you reported a guy to the police, and are considering reporting the others, are they actually aware of your real age? If so, then I commend you on doing so because they know your age and should know better. However, if you're reporting them under the belief you're actually of age, that's not very fair. A lot of men end up going to jail for situations just like this, as they were under genuine belief they thought the person they were chatting with, was of age.

No they know my real age they know im 14 and we literally met on kids chat websites.

[Mallika]

Hi Katy,

Welcome to TeenHelp! You did the right thing by reaching out and I'm sure you'll get many great responses and insights here.

Addiction and obsessions are very real - whether it's pornography, drugs, alcohol, smoking, etc. And these are definitely not healthy for your growth and development by any means, considering you are so young. I want to assure you that it is not impossible to overcome this addiction - I have heard of many people who have overcome porn addiction. I'm sorry that your therapist couldn't help you with this... but don't give up.

Firstly, I think it pays to understand the science behind porn addiction. This article is great (not too much scientific jargon) if you want to understand why your brain responds to porn the way it does: https://oceanrecoverycentre.com/2016...orn-addiction/

One of the methods you might have tried to overcome this is by going "cold turkey" - stopping it overnight, altogether. This can be quite difficult especially if the addiction is strong to start with. It might instead help to set realistic goals and work towards them one step at a time. Just think of someone who's trying to lose weight - can they stop eating altogether and exercise all day if they want to lose 10kg? Nope. It is much more sensible to cut out on unhealthy foods and engage in reasonable amounts of intense exercise in progressive steps. It's the same here. Let's say you are spending 3 hours of your day watching porn and are masturbating during school hours. Perhaps you might want to consciously work on not masturbating during school hours first, before moving onto reducing (and eventually eliminating) time spent on watching porn. It might help to get a diary where you write these goals down for each day and check them off as you accomplish them. Word of warning: it's not going to be very easy and you will experience some withdrawal symptoms (i.e. wishing you could just watch porn), but don't give up. Remember, it pays to take this extra bit of pain by detaching yourself from your addiction, if you want a greater, positive outcome.

Another method that might help is to understand the repercussions of watching porn. This guy who runs a channel called Fit Tuber does an amazing job explaining what porn does to your mind and body, and also gives effective tips on overcoming it:
1) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AQv0tS8Qw80&t=442s
2) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AJz18CVg9Ww&t=174s
Watch these two videos in order. If you read the comments, you'll see that so many people have decided to overcome their porn/masturbation addictions after watching the video and have been "clean" for so-and-so number of days.

As for your being on online sex/dating sites, it is advisable that you deactivate your accounts immediately. The kind of pedophiles and creeps that lurk out there can do unimaginable things to young girls like you. If you deactivate all your accounts on those sites and refrain from joining any more (even if you think they are "safe"), it will go a long way in helping you overcome this.

Embarking on this journey of overcoming this addiction is one of the best things you can do for yourself. It's good that you've already reached out and started thinking about this.

Best of luck and if you have any questions, feel free to DM me!