Not drinking is miserable

[Proud90sKid]

Hey. I haven't been here in a while, but long story short- I was drinking 12-15 beers a day and last year also started taking benzos everyday without being supervised by a doctor. I have worked so hard to taper the benzos and got myself down to where I was nearly off of it. It has really been a painful process. Benzos dependency feels so subtle and yet can be so hard to get off of.

I have drank this much for years. However, last week I randomly threw up both fresh and digested blood. I went to the clinic and they told me to go to the ER. I didn't, but I did stop drinking immediately by taking "full' doses of diazepam(a benzo) several times a day and- several days in a row in order to stop the alcohol withdrawal. I have since tried to return to my original taper dose (really hoping I didnt mess up my taper..) but it has been difficult - Im randomly getting intense rushes of anxiety and adrenaline. I am not even used to going a day without alcohol but I have gone a week. Each day feels so incredibly long and everything feels so different. I crave a drink but because I know that could be dangerous as I don't even know why I vomited blood- I am struggling to not take more of the benzos but I know that could ruin my taper.

I am using medical marijuana and it is helping some- but my brain is really craving something GABA-stimulating like alcohol, valium, or xanax. There are times when the marijuana is not helping and I am dealing with strong cravings to take pills or drink.

[Allyson Wood]

please don't get me wrong, I think you need to talk to your doctor to address the problem.

Vomiting blood is a medical emergency. You have no idea what could be the cause of it and you need to get seen immediately. Also, trying to come off alcohol and benzodiazepines without medical supervision is incredibly risky. I'm not exaggerating when I say you could die. I'm glad you're attempting to stop abusing substances, but go get some medical help and medical supervision, immediately.

[Tigereyes]

Originally Posted by Heathen

Vomiting blood is a medical emergency. You have no idea what could be the cause of it and you need to get seen immediately. Also, trying to come off alcohol and benzodiazepines without medical supervision is incredibly risky. I'm not exaggerating when I say you could die. I'm glad you're attempting to stop abusing substances, but go get some medical help and medical supervision, immediately.

I second this. Withdrawal from alcohol and/or benzo dependency without medical supervision is very dangerous. These ones could actually kill you.