ALCOHOL IS HORRIBLE

[Iampathetic]

I hate myself...

My mom drinks alcohol and it affects my life horribly. I am only 11, going on 12, but my mom seems to act.. funny.. when she drinks. She isn't drunk, she just acts different. I hate it. I feel uncomfortable and I spend all night thinking about it. I always go to bed very early because when I wake up, It's all over.. I've escaped..

For now.

Everytime I hear a beer can open, I beat myself up.
Everytime someone talks about how they like alcohol, I hack them or do something else to them.

If you don't like alcohol just because it tastes bad, then screw you and I hope you die.

...

In other words, I am very depressed due to alcohol. I don't care if you think I'm over sensitive. It bothers ME.

Hey there!

You're eleven, almost twelve. That's so young to feel depressed and having to be around your mom drinking alcohol, I'm so sorry about this. You aren't pathetic at all, okay? Why do you feel that way? I can understand how your mom drinking would affect you in such negative ways but I'd like to reassure you that I do believe she still cares and loves you though. None of this is your fault and you don't deserve to beat yourself up over all of this.

Considering how young you are, and how your mom drinking makes you feel, I understand why you would feel angry at people who drink and alcohol in general. But maybe it would help to understand more about why your mother drinks. Ironically, many people resort to alcohol for the same reasons you resort to going to bed early; to escape. Alcohol is an unhealthy coping mechanism that usually causes even more problems and it can also cause health problems along with affecting people close to the person who is drinking. I would never recommend for someone to drink to deal with their problems. So while it isn't healthy, your mother probably drinks to escape from her feelings and problems. Just as other people do. Probably due to a lack of support, healthy outlets, ways of expressing themselves and feeling overwhelmed with feelings and life.

Have you spoken to your mother about this and how it's making you feel? Opening up in a polite, respectful way and letting her in on your feelings could be really beneficial. Hopefully if she sees how it's affecting you, she'll feel more motivated to ease away from resorting to alcohol. I imagine it affects her in lots of negative ways as well, even if she doesn't yet realize it. In the meantime, do you have anyone you can talk to about this? Such as a family member, school counselor or another trusted adult? Having support and people to talk to about your feelings could help a lot. You don't deserve to have to deal with this alone as it's making you feel so depressed.

Having ways healthy outlets and ways to express yourself through this is really important. You can do so in so many ways and via fun hobbies, such as creative writing, music, art etc. On that note, do you have a journal? Writing down what's going on in your life along with your thoughts and feelings can be really therapeutic as you have a way to get things off your chest rather than keeping everything bottled up inside. Occupy yourself with hobbies and fun things to do that make you happy. Immerse yourself in things that you enjoy and explore new hobbies. Could you also join a club, group or sports at school? Extra activities could be fun and distracting for you right now.

Your home life sounds really difficult, and I'm sorry for that. You're so young, but you're a lot stronger than you know. Try looking for positives to get out of this situation if possible. Like, I bet that if you were to have a heartfelt conversation with your mom, it'd cause her to begin rethinking her ways, even if it's not immediate which may make the two of you closer. And while I imagine this must be really hard for you, I believe that the tough parts of life make us stronger later on. Think of your future and work on shaping it the way you want, and in ways that make you happy. And remember that you have more control over your life when you're older, you can do your best to keep alcohol out of your life, you know? An alcohol-free life is the happiest and healthiest I believe.

Glad that you decided to post here. By the way, welcome to TeenHelp! I hope reaching out and sharing your feelings helped. You're welcome to continue posting here and I hope that things improve for you. Let us know how things are going for you, okay? Take care of yourself and stay strong. You can do this.