Work Out Addiction

[Icy Fox]

So about 2 years ago I was pulled from all sports for a year because of a knee surgery. I played Football, Baseball, Ran track, Bmx Raced. I loved to compete. I dislocated my knee cap in football and was out for a a couple months over the summer. When Football rolled around (5 weeks later) I decided it was time to go back. I dislocated my knee cap again after an hour of practice. The doctor took me out for the season, it was no big deal I thought. Oh how I was wrong lol. I ended up knocking off a piece of cartilage 11cm long and cause bleeding in my knee. My knee was huge. I had a surgery to clean up my knee, the problem was when the doctor was doing surgery he discovered my whole knee joint had 100s of paces of cartilage in there and that " your knee looks like of a 40 year old man who played sports" He did this thing where he drilled holes in the ends of bones to promote cartilage growth. That surgery made me 7 months on crutches. It was devastating and depressing. During this time is when I think i started getting obsessive. I felt like i was useless so I worked out my upper body like crazy until I had inflamed joints (wrists, elbows, and shoulders)

Over the years they figured out that surgery was pointless because I have a cartilage defect where the cartilage in my left knee is bad. Always. My body grows non-firm and flaky cartilage in my knee. I already need a knee replacement and I am only 17.

Somehow I now am obsessed with working hard. I barely have to try sometimes. I will workout until I get hurt. I will avoid going out so I can stay home and workout or go to swim practice. If I cant workout I loose my emotions. Sometimes I will cry or be angry for no reason. Im pretty sure that is going through withdraw.

My freshman year I added edited pounds to my bench press and Gained editedpounds.

[LlamaLlamaDuck]

Hey there.

I'm sorry that you're having to deal with this at such a young age, I can't imagine how difficult it must be for you.
It's great that you've found an outlet for your emotions, exercise is often recommended as a distraction from negative thoughts and feelings. It does sound as if you're getting a bit, as you put it, 'obsessive' over it though. If this is something that is taking over your life and preventing you from doing other things, like going out, then is definitely something you need to try and deal with. Especially if you're causing yourself further injury from the intensity of the workouts.

Have you tried any other coping mechanisms aside from exercise? Perhaps some crafts (knitting, drawing, painting), reading, writing, playing music, baking. There are endless lists of things you could try. I think it'd be good for you to find something else you enjoy doing so that it's not just workouts all the time and you can alternate a little to let your body rest and heal.
Does your doctor know this is going on? Perhaps it'd be good to talk to him about it, he might have some ideas on how to help you deal with all of this in a way that is less damaging to your body.

Exercise is good, but too much can be dangerous. Please don't put yourself in a position where you're suffering more because you're pushing yourself too hard. It's okay to take a break sometimes and do something else. Try and speak to someone, and take care of yourself.

Louise.