sadness,frustration,addiction,failure,friends and family

[juanx]

Sadness,lonelyness,abandonned,hurt,pain,addiction, hate,self hate,alone,pushed away,don't want to talk to me,looking right thru me,unloveable,pretend to be happy all the time,I have tried to kill myself more than once,I hate my life but nobody cares,self harm,hate me,screaming but no one can hear,over time,hurting myself has become easier than sorting out my problems.it hurts but its ok I'm used to it......things I've found in my journal after writing all my emotions down,well not all of it.these are reasons why I don't want to wake in the morning cause I know that on that same night ill be sitting in my room thinking,crying....cutting.....I know I want to stop but I can not find a good reason to do so,I want to change,sometimes I wish I had a life of someone else,cause now I feel useless,unwanted and all the things above

[Ral.]

Hi again Juan,

I'm sorry to hear about how you're feeling right now, but I want to reassure you that it's not normal to feel this way and things will get better, I promise.

I'm glad to see that you used my suggestion and you created a journal to understand what's making you feel the way that you do feel and why. The feelings you seem to be getting are very aggressive and I can see why you're getting upset and depressed about them. My suggestion to you now would be to take the journal, with the feelings you've accumulated and go to see a therapist, this may sound scary but with what you're going through you do not deserve to feel alone.

I remember you saying in a different post that you were going to discuss how you feel with your close friend, did you ever do that? If so, what was his response? If he embraced it, is it not possible for you to have him come with you to the specialist? It's good to have a friend supporting you when you go so you don't feel as intimidated going into the room, the first step is always the hardest but I assure you this is the best thing for you to do.

If you decide not to listen to me, can I ask you to PM/VM me and we'll have a proper talk about everything you're going through? You seem to have posted various threads with a similar overall feel to it, and I'd really appreciate it if you would let me help you through this.

I hope to hear from you soon,
~Jack.

[juanx]

We'll its been some time since my last post,things has been going well and I haven't talked to my freind yet,I'm too ashamed and what might he think but I'll find the courage somewhere to tell him but not now but I'll keep you posted jack thanks

[Ral.]

Hi Juan,

I'm glad things are going well for you, just keep it up!

I'm a week clean in a couple of hours, so things are going pretty well for me too, I still have the urges, really badly, but I'm managing I guess.

I really do suggest that you tell your friend though, the longer you keep it from him, the harder it is to understand for him.

I hope you do keep me posted, and goodluck!

~Jack.