Psychological addiction...

[TheBabyEater]

Awhile ago when I tried to stop cutting or hurting myself in any other way I was cranky, easily upset, and sometimes nautious. I looked it up and guess what, those are symptoms of other addictions like drugs and smoking and stuff. I didn't even know it was possible to be addicted to something like this. It's so messed up.

I don't even know why I'm posting. Just upset that I could be addicted to this crap. My boyfriend said I need to stop so he's trying to help me. It's just that its hard being 200+ miles away from him. Right now I'm trying to slow down, not do it as often and as deep, stuff like that. But it's not quite working I feel.

[lauren_160]

Self harm is an addicition, it's something to do with the feel good hormones your body realeses after cutting, you become psychologicly addicted to that feeling, it also becomes a coping mechanism,
although it is an addiction, just like smoking, and other addictions, it's something you can overcome, and it's not always going to be easy, but you can do it, does anyone know about your self injury other than your boyfriend?, someone closer to home? having a strong support system is going to help you in the long run.

Have you ever looked at the altenatives page?
print it off and keep it in a place you can get to at anytime,
if you ever need anything, PM me
Take care!

[TheBabyEater]

I've tried every alternative I've heard of. The only ones that seem to help is writing it down and playing my guitar. Having my boyfriend with me helps too but it doesn't really help over freakin text message...

[asyoulikeit]

Hey, Marissa idk why I got excited, I just don't know many ppl with the same name as me...

ANYway. I know it's hard when the person you rely on most can't always be there to stop you when you're low, but often a phone call can help more than texting if you just lay there and close your eyes and listen to his voice. Eventually you will be able to rely on yourself to stop, not just him. One way to get started is to physically get rid of what you 'use', so you don't have easy access anymore. I know that basically anything can be turned into a weapon, but if you have to TRY that gives you more time to think about what you're about to do and therefore more of a chance to talk yourself out of it. I gave away my boxcutter to my boyfriend, and I told him not to give it back to me even if I asked. Not having my familiar tool has frustrated me, but in such a way that I was forced to think more instead of just going to the knife.

If you're not thinking much of the alternatives thread in action, just reading it can help you calm down. I know that most any will be a long-ass list that you can read for 30 minutes straight, giving you time to calm down. Call your boyfriend (or talk to a friend, or whomever you feel can help you with this) and try to come up with some alternatives that fit you specifically, like writing or guitar. Not everyone can jog to get their mind off stuff.

Also, coming onto TH and ranting or just reading what's going on in people's lives can provide a release and an opportunity to take your mind out of what's going on in your life to make you low. We all care about you, and quite a few of us are going through a similar situation. I want you to stop, for your sake and TH is an amazing source of ppl who care who are just a thread (or chat, or phone call, or hell- a drive) away from talking with you. Even if you're pissed and just want to vent to someone, it can help.

Finally, you're going to slip up. Your boyfriend should understand this, and you can explain it to him if he ever tries to guilt you when you have a relapse. Quitting SH is incredibly hard, and you need his support- not his criticism or disappointment. Shame can only motivate you so far, and in some cases can actually make you lower. Let him know what he can do to help you. Even though he's a while away he can still be there for you.

Ok, i'm gonna stop typing but seriously if you ever want to talk just PM me and I'm here. I love to listen, and I want to help. Take care <3

[Mikey]

I'm glad to hear that you have alot of support and advice from your boyfriend;
and that your trying to help yourself.
Your defiantly on the right path even if it seems super tough and impossible.
When your feeling low just remember that no matter how difficult the situation is;
You can do this.
And as you mentioned alternatives, some may work for you and some might not.
You could always try drawing a body part and scribbling all over it with different colors - this is my distraction when I get an urge.
But if this seems too uncomfortable for you, I'm totally willing to look up some more until you find one that suits you.
Lastly, feel free to pm me anytime your feeling down or you simply need someone to talk to.
Take care.

[Emily.]

Hey Marrisa, first of all i think it's great that you want to give it up. That is the first step towards beating this addiction. And it is just that, an addiction. You were right in seeing that a lot of the symptoms are the same as with things like drugs and alcohol.

I also think that when giving it up we do kind of go thru something like a withdrawal period, but with time it does get easier. I'm glad u have found that writing and playing guitar help you fight the urge to self-harm. Idk wat you have all tried, but i really find walking and listening to music to help me too.

What kind of support system do you have around you? If your boyfriend is the only one that knows, i can see how it would be extremely hard not having him near. But i agree that talking to him on the phone would prbly help a lot more than just texts. I also think you should talk to some other people around you whether it's your parents or other friends.

Another thing i would suggest is maybe talking to a counselor about this. They can help you get more to the root of the problem. I found that when i tried to quit without actually dealing with the problems that were causing it, i just switched to another bad habit. Plus it's nice to have someone nonjudgemental to talk to sometimes.

I hope your doing okay right now and feel free to pm me anytime.
<3 emily

[TheBabyEater]

A few people here know... One of them seems to see it as a contest by "I bet I'm worse than you" and trying to get us to compare them. The idea made me sick and I havn't mentioned it since.
Another is a friend that I know I can trust. It's just hard because I'm so awful at trusting people, and not then getting to close... He's my friends boyfriend and it's hard to talk to him alone because she's always around and he doesn't have a phone and stuff. I'm slowley trying to get the courage to talk to him about it again but it's like I said hard.

My boyfriend is very supportive and doesn't make me feel bad when I slip up. So thank god for that. He understands that even if I get rid of the razor I use, I'll just go to an unpredictable knife and stuff. So we're trying to stop, then get rid of the razor... (Yes, I said we. We've come to think of it as a battle with both of us against it since we're so close. )

[kelsey-marie]

Originally Posted by nothing-but-regrets

Awhile ago when I tried to stop cutting or hurting myself in any other way I was cranky, easily upset, and sometimes nautious. I looked it up and guess what, those are symptoms of other addictions like drugs and smoking and stuff. I didn't even know it was possible to be addicted to something like this. It's so messed up.

Originally Posted by nothing-but-regrets

I don't even know why I'm posting. Just upset that I could be addicted to this crap. My boyfriend said I need to stop so he's trying to help me. It's just that its hard being 200+ miles away from him. Right now I'm trying to slow down, not do it as often and as deep, stuff like that. But it's not quite working I feel.

Okay well at least you're trying to stop. My friend cut herself and all we did was tell an adult. That adult talked to my friend and now she's in counsiling and hasn't cut herself in over a month. Maybe all you need to do is talk to someone. If you have motivation like maybe your boyfriend could be your motivation then you'll have a reason to stop. It is possible to become addicted to self mutilation thats why it is so hard for people to stop. Goodluck with stopping!