Triggering: Battling Addiction

[MsNobleEleanor]

(I'm just going to say it like it is)

My addiction is slowly coming back, I'm slowly seeking others to help my addiction. At the same time I'm very conflicted but I need it. My cravings are extremely strong and ready to relapse. I've never gotten help for my addiction I just simply stopped when I moved. Now, sitting here thinking of what to do... is crippling me. I'm addicted to sex and my addiction with sex has made it difficult for me to handle not having any release. Went 4 months not engaging in sexual behavior and here I am, wanting to message someone for it.

There isn't any reason for me to feel this way. I'm just ignoring my pain and working full time is helping me but with my own health concerns and a family member ill in the hospital with two types of cancer is hard for me being 11 hours from everyone. I don't regret moving so far away from everyone it has helped me.

I'll be in therapy in about 8-10 weeks till then I can work out my financial issues and over due unpaid rent. I need to be strong in this time of my life, I need to work through my money issues, health concerns and family.

I'm not sure what I should really be doing.

[PSY]

Hello, Chantal! I'm sorry you haven't received a response yet - Buddies don't get to pass up on your thread just because it's located in the WWSD forum. In fact, we should ALL be making sure that our fellow staff members receive responses!

Hang in there. Addictions aren't beat overnight. It's a continuous effort/struggle to overcome an addiction. Recognize that the urge to give in is probably being triggered by all the stress you're experiencing right now - so if you can do anything about that, the urge may be easier to manage.

I'm glad you'll be starting therapy again in several weeks. In the meantime, can you find a SLAA (Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous) group in your area? Having other people who can relate and help support you during this difficult time could go a long way.

[MsNobleEleanor]

Thank You for replying Robin.

I've already fallen deep into my addiction again. Not going to go into details but I was with someone and not even 24/hrs past I was with another guy.

I called this place who deals with addictions in general and I talked with someone, I asked what addictions are brought up in the meetings, he said pretty much all the addictions but sex and I asked if anyone even talks about it. He said it's rare. I'm thinking of going to the one tomorrow at noon till 1:30pm and the person I was talking with said I could talk to him after. I have a doctors appointment at 3pm I may try to go.

[MsNobleEleanor]

Shock. Shock? Am I in shock? Tears are stinging my eyes... I'm calling in sick to work. I can't go to work, I'm in so much shock. I... I... I need to call... I need to call... I need to leave and get fresh air. I... Oh my...

Why. I'm such a mess, I feel it, I'm in so much shock. The guy who I had unprotected sex with, told me he has a daughter, or the fact I told him I was sexually abused as a child and him telling me he has a child. I... I... I'm not mad... I'm just so damn... confused. I just... can't to go work. I need to leave, my cousin knows I work... I need a cigarette now and a massive one.

[PSY]

Hello again!

How did the meeting go? It's strange that talking about sexual addictions at those meetings is so rare... SLAA was created because it's such a huge problem for so many people! I hope you can find at least one other person to connect with, someone who can support you and help you get through the times when you want to give in.

Please, please, PLEASE, at the very least, look into getting on birth control and using condoms when you're seeing these various sexual partners. You may have difficulty controlling the urge to give in, but you can take precautionary measures to ensure you don't end up pregnant and/or sick from a sexually transmitted infection. Perhaps you could go to your doctor to get set up for birth control, and while you're there, you could ask for resources/referrals to help with the sexual addiction. It may be embarrassing to tell a virtual stranger about what's going on, but doctors aren't there to judge. They are there to help.

[MsNobleEleanor]

The meeting went well, I left because they talked about drugs and alcohol and I got up and left. I talked with a crisis lady and she set me up with an intake in 2 months for counseling.

I have told my doctor about the addiction. I went to a specialist and he diagnosed me with Borderline Personality Disorder and minor Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Depression and some Anxiety.

I'm seeing a guy that I really like, we're really close friends. He is older but he respects every bit of me. Yes, I cheated on him twice and I feel horrible about it and wont do it again.