Female Advice Preferred: When you first got Anorexia

[crazy.daisy]

Hey ya'll,

Just a quick question, right before or around the time you first got anorexia, did you try to get it? Like did you want to to get it so you choose to get it? I also am curious if it gets any easier as you go... and also harder to break away from. Do you think you could get over it by yourself without help after you've had it a significant amount of time?

Thanks!

[Madeleine.Claire]

I've never had full blown anorexia or been diagnosed with an eating disorder problem , but there are certain times where I'll go a week or two and be extremely careful about every single thing I eat. For me at least, it is a choice, I'll feel fat and decide to skip a meal, then I think I look better and I feel better. Everytime though I'll fall back into more normal eating habits in about two weeks or so..

Hope that helped some, sorry it wasn't exactly what you were asking for :P!

[Evanesco]

I've never been diagnosed with an eating disorder, however I think I have some form of disordered eating or ednos.

You don't want an eating disorder. What happened to me was I slipped into disordered eating habits and I hated my body. There were times when I wanted to starve myself, and I wanted to be ill, but that I think was part of the twisted way of thinking I had already slipped into. And I thought those things because I hated myself and wanted to destroy myself, not because I wanted to get skinny and thought it was a good way of doing so. I was already in the middle of whatever I'm dealing with when I thought like that. So I don't think anybody who really knows what they're in for could want an eating disorder when they are in a healthy state of mind.

The longer you leave it, the harder it is to let go of it. Recently I thought I should start eating more, and I got my boyfriend's support and I'm trying really hard, and I just can't. I can't let myself. This isn't something I can fix on my own and it certainly isn't getting easier.

Perhaps, if you tried really hard and changed the way you thought about yourself, you'd be able to get over anorexia by yourself, but you'd have to be very strong willed. And I doubt if you were that strong willed you'd have fallen into it in the first place.

[crazy.daisy]

Madeleine.Claire-Do you take the extra care for that week or 2 only because you feel overweight?

DemolitionLover- Do you know why you would have fallen into an unhealthy or twisted way of thinking? Like if something caused it?

[Angel]

For most of my adolesence, I have suffered from anorexia nervosa. For the longest time I had not come to the realization that what I was doing was incredibly harmful to my mental and physical health. During most of that period, I looked at thinspo and researched more into low calorie foods. I became obsessed with the alternative communities that existed online. Healthy people do not choose to make themselves ill. I've come to the conclusion that those looking for ways of control are not totally healthy themselves.

It does not get easier. When you are far into your disorder, it will seem almost impossible to get out since you have been living with it and have been consumed by it for so long. That is when you will need the support of your loved ones the most. Recovery can be incredibly difficult, even more so on one's own. It is entirely possible though as long as you hold on to the little bit of hope of getting well and living free from the disorder.

I hope this has given you some insight. If you'd like to continue to talk, I welcome you to send me a message.

-Sylvie

[Evanesco]

I think it was caused by a hatred of myself, a need for control and a lack of communication with my family. It didn't just cause eating problems, it also caused mood problems as well, and confidence, and other things. Nothing has been diagnosed, so I don't give a name to anything, but seeing as I definitely struggle with things, I know that something is wrong.

[crazy.daisy]

DemolitionLover. Thank you, that helps a lot!

[Tigerlily.]

Well with me it isn't Anorexia, I'm not actually diagnosed but others who have done the same things I have were diagnosed with an EDNOS, so I basically just say I have an EDNOS. For me it started when I was about 8 years old and then I didn't want to start to have an eating disorder, I was an emotional eater and began binge-eating a lot, then I would feel ashamed and try not to eat so I would feel better. I never realized it was a problem though and then when I was about 12 I wanted to have an eating disorder, I thought not eating would solve all my problems and then I didn't realize that I was already dealing with one. And I would do the same routine as I always had before with binge-eating for a week, then not eating for a week but I'd feel like a disappointment when I couldn't last more than a week not eating. My point is, I had an eating disorder since I was 8 but I didn't know it, the only time I noticed an ED was when I was around 12 and wanted one and would try to have Anorexia. It was horrible and in this last year I started to realize I did have an ED and it was a problem to my health. I tried to get out of it on my own and I just couldn't, I'm getting better with the help of a therapist though now. So no, it only gets harder to stop the longer it progresses and I personally couldn't have done it on my own, but getting help is helping me to slowly get out of that mind set.

[Eternal]

I have had EDNOS and very minor orthorexia since I was 14. I did not chose to have these habits, it just happened due to low self-esteem. It is very hard to stop, in fact I still haven't been successful
I think support from friends and family would definitely help someone overcome it as they would be reminded that it isn't healthy and it is very damaging to your mental and physical health.

[rosaleah]

I started because people kept saying i eat alot... but then unintentionally i started eating less and less. i didnt even notice this at first until i noticed i lost weight and my clothes were loser. Its not a habit i WANTED to get into at all. and it can be very hard to get out of.

[Katie Lydia]

I was diagnosed with bulimia nervosa at 15, the events that triggered it were mounts and mounts of bullying, exam stress and the fact that i was losing control so i decided to take control the only way i thought possible, my food. I was diagnosed at 15 but had been doing it 2 years prior, it was all secretive and i was embarassed about it. It got worse as i found Thinspo (Thinspiration, Pro-Ana/Mia Websites) and got more and more deeper to the point where my physical health deteriorated and i got some help.

I know everyone is different and have their own stories but any recovering ana/mia sufferer will tell you that you cannot do it on your own or with someone who is also suffering from an ED, one relapses and so does the other.

There are a few silly girls (and probably guys) that want an ED due to the fact they think it's glamourous and all the models and film stars are apparantly doing it but what's glamourous about going bald, spots, yellow teeth and popping in laxatives like m&ms.

I'm getting help and it has been getting easier but there are good and bad days where i get urges but surrounding yourself with good people and TELLING SOMEONE how you feel helps, sometimes when i feel like i have to purge i just talk to someone and then after a while, bam! Feeling gone.

Hope my rambling helped. xx

[bailatyvm]

yeah; my disordered eating problems stem from my low self-esteem :/ I didn't exactly choose it..but in a sense I did. I didn't want it to be so controlling though..and every time I go up a size I get super depressed.

[SnapCracklePop]

The first time, I was very young and bigger than most of my friends. Looking back, I WAS overweight, but I was too young and didn't know how to healthily lose weight. After that it became a means of controll, and I was afraid I would go back to how I was before if I stopped.
That gradually got better when I realised I wasn't healthy, or happy, or any of the things I had wanted to be. I realised I was just upsetting the people around me.
Not so long ago I had a time where I was very anxious, mostly caused by an abusive friendship, I think. At this time I physically COULDN'T eat, I would just gag. As the problems got slightly better, I did eat.
I'm not sure if that made any sense. :P

[crazy.daisy]

Hey ya'll, Thanks so much for all your insight... For those who havent yet shared what caused your ED, would you mind sending me a PM? I'd love to hear from you! Thanks again!

P.S. Everyone is making total sense, BTW, don't worry if you think you are confusing, you aren't!

[NyanNyan]

Are you planning on getting anorexia? I don't recommend it. I've only been anorexic for 3 or 4 months and I am hooked on it. Kind of like a drug. You can read my story under the "what my friend did" post

[emma01]

I was diagnosed with anorexia, and to be honest I don't think anyone CHOOSES to have the mental illness, you are either going to get it or not. You cannot really choose it.

However, I could say it was my choice to stop eating...because I chose not to eat to sort out other problems in my life, BUT those thoughts were not made rationally and by the time I 'chose' not to eat, I had already been hit with the illness.

I don't know if I am making a lot of sense, but anyone who chooses not to eat for a prolonged period of time and becomes anorexia as a result of that choice...didn't choose anorexia. A person who does not have anorexia, or who isn't 'destined' to get anorexia, will not try and starve themselves.
Anyone who wishes to be anorexic, is mentally ill because that is not a rational decision to make.

[ARTPOP]

I don't have it. But I don't think anyone chooses to really :/

[Skyscraper]

Ive had it since i was 15
and i can't stop.

[Coffee.]

I'm not diagnosed with any eating disorder, but those suffering with Anorexia never choose their illness. They wanted to be thinner, but they didn't want this deadly disease.
If you're wanting to lose weight, these types of habits are not the way to go. If you need help, PM me.

[ellabelly]

i was 10 when i realized things were wrong but it started when i was about 7/8.... not a choice. i tell myself it is but who would really CHOOSE to hurt people who love them, which is what happens. i take the pain my body feels, out on those that care about me. i want to stop, and i have before. however, every time things start feeling out of control my anorexia and bulimia rears it's ugly head.

i don't want this for ANYONE. if you are thinking about trying, please seek help now before you're stuck for the rest of your life. because it is a life long battle, even when i'm "healthy" i think about it multiple times a day.

[ellabelly]

and no to your last question.... trying to get over it by myself has only made it worse.

[colie18]

I have never been diagnosed, but there were times where i was about xlbs under weight and i wouldn't eat at all. It was a choice because I didn't want to be "fat" anymore. I think at anytime it is hard to get over to force yourself to eat the enemy. I overcame it myself but I also relapse constantly. I sometimes will go a period of a few days without eating.

[.Jess.]

I was diagnosed with Anorexia too. For me though, how it all started is a little bit of a blur, I just found myself there. At the begining I do remember choosing not to eat food and to restrict what I ate, I remember someone commenting on why was I not eating lunch? I remember feeling so good about that. Yes, at the start I may have chose not to eat as much, I definitely didn't choose the thoughts, feelings and all the secretive and deceitful behaviour that came as a consequence.

[Stargazed.]

Although when I was 13 or 14, I stopped eating for 4 weeks and I lost a drastic amount of weight and passed out many times, I haven't really been diagnosed with an eating disorder. However, there are times where I refuse to eat because I feel ugly or fat. Or if I do eat, I binge and purge. I wouldn't call myself anorexic or bullimic though, because most of the time, I do eat normally yet I still have negative thoughts about my eating habits, and my body image. So I guess I could say I have an ednos. But I'd have to talk to my dr about that...

Anyways, I don't suggest you "chose" to become anorexic. It's a dangerous path to be on and I really hope that you don't go there. I'm here if you'd like to chat<3

No I did not TRY and get it...Once I started cutting I started eating less and less because I was missing that control so with that I could control what I ate and when I ate. But I I purposely did not say " Oh I think I will develop an eating disorder) I am not anorexic but I am diagnosed with an eating disorder.

And I just want to say eating disorders is a disorder and daises and you can't really make yourself have one there are a lot of things that come into factor when it comes down to if your likely to develop and ED or not. And trust me if you don't have one and or trying to loose weight don't do it my starting to starve or purge it will just get worse and its a long road to recover which I haven't really even started yet

[Evanescent]

No I didn't choose to have the disorder, I don't think anyone can choose to have a mental illness. My started when my mom spent all of our money on bingo, so we had absolutely no money for food or rent. With what little food we were able to get from the food pantry I made sure that all of my family was able to eat before I did. So I would go days without eating and then I would loose weight. I began weighing myself multiple times a day feeling excited every time the number would go down. Then the number wasn't going down enough so I would starve myself more. Then when I did try to eat even a few bites of something I couldn't because of the guilt. It all went downhill from there.

It doesn't get easier. The longer you go with out recieving help the harder it gets. And no I do not believe that you can quit on your own.

[CaliKitty]

I didnt choose to get it. After i lost my father I just didnt have the utge to eat anymore. EVentually i had to force myself to eat but then food felt horrible inside me so i just starved myself. idk i still struggle with my anorexia everyday and i ome to this site for help but so far no one has tried to help me so i thought id try to help u

[Cristi.Matt]

I didn't try. It started off as me not eating certain parts of my lunch cuz i didn't like the food, but once I saw that i lost a few pounds, i just stopped eating. It's not easy to stop. I still struggle with it and it's been almost 5 years.