Keep Relapsing into Bulimia
 

I've really gotten a control over my bulimia, but every now and again I'll relapse. I think I've said this in some previous topic, but I've been a bulimic for 5 years. I think maybe two months ago, I stopped cold turkey. It actually went really well for me -- because I stopped my bulimia, I began to lose a little weight (which was a good thing, my bulimia always makes me gain weight).

But every now and again, especially when I have bad days, I find the desire to purge comes back. I'll come home from school, and just eat A LOT of food. Then, of course, I feel horrible for doing it, and throw up. My biggest problem is that right before I purge, I know what I'm about to do. I can think to myself and tell myself that it wont be good if you eat a lot of food. But then I convince myself that it wont be that bad -- that once in a while of eating a lot wont hurt me. So then I eat a lot. And then I throw up. And then I feel like crap for relapsing. It's just not a good cycle.

This has happened maybe four or five times over the two months, and they each last maybe two days. But my question is how do you guys stop yourselves from purging? I know what I'm about to do is bad, but then I always manage to convince myself that it wont be too bad.

Re: Keep Relapsing into Bulimia
 

Hey there,

When you are recovering from an addiction (and yes, Bulimia is addicting), people will often times have relapses. And they do occur when we are at low points. So it's quite normal that you are feeling this way. However, I am glad that you are working on recovery. That shows a lot of strength, and proves that you have the strength within yourself to get through urges in a healthy way. It's going to be hard, but you have the capability to do it.

I think when you get to the point of wanting to purge, and knowing that it's wrong--you need to take a step further and consider how you are going to feel after the fact. You know you're going to feel guilty/bad, because as you said: It's a cycle. Cycles can be broken. But another thing that you can do is try to distract yourself by doing stimulating/relaxing/fun activities. With each time that you don't give into an urge, it's going to be easier for the next time.

Binging and purging is just another form of Self Harm. It's a way of coping with depression, stress, negative feelings, etc. No self harm is good. Fortunately, there is a thread with Self Harm alternative right here. There are tons of alternatives on here. One is bound to work. :]

Also, when you are feeling like you want to binge and purge, call an Eating Disorder hotline. They can help talk you through it, and can potentially make you feel loads better. Here is a link for hotlines you can call: Hotline List

I hope this helped!
Take care,
-Lynds

Re: Keep Relapsing into Bulimia
 

well doen for stopping. cold turkey, thats so brave your amazing. Ok ive put together some ways that i hope will help you break the cycle. and thats all it is, dont let it daunt you its a cycle and you can break it. but dont be to hard on yourself, you might slip up its a process but keep going you can do it! i know it. xx
ok so first:
@ identify your trigger, something is makeing you feel like wanting to purge, is it stress? friends? lonleness? once you know what it is you can put a face to your illness which makes it easier to fight. join a club, tell someone, take breaks and work one step at a time.
@consider medication/professional help. your doctor may be able to prescribe you something to stop you feeling depressed, etc. x
@improve your self esteem, this is normally a main cause/contriubutor. if you give yourself no reason to bing and throw up because ur happy in your skin then you wont ever fel the need to do it again. some steps to do this by are, giving yourself compliments, accepting compliments, writing a journal and everyday puting in something good about yourself/something youve acheived/a c ompliment someone gave you. if you can get rid of a distroted self ima ge and realsie your perfect, and your not fat then you should be ahppy with eating. thees nothing wrong with esting or with you xx
@ eat regularly at intervals, if you have a routine you will find it easyier to stick to eating sensibly and safely xxx
@ be honest. tell everyone you trust how you feel and what your going through. be honest with yourself about why your doing it and how you feel
Change your mindset about overindulging. Just because you binge or eat something you feel you shouldn’t, doesn’t mean you should scrap the entire day as a lost cause and purge. Take your recovery one day at a time and be patient with yourself. Relapse is inevitable but a necessary step in the recovery process
@get group treatment, it will spur you on and you wont have to hold it too yourself.
hope i helped. remember you dont deserve it. binging isnt bad, thinkpositive. you cando it xxxxxxx pm me if you need anything xxxx <3 love pixie