Triggering (ED): Anorexia, now bulimia too? :/

[iMuse]

Hey,

I'm anorexic, I have been since September, I've been self conscious since I was 6 and I've been on diets/eating disorders since.

I eat only dinner, but I keep trying to throw it up, using toothbrushes, excessive exercise straight after eating and then stuffing a toothbrush down my throat, but I just can't do it.


Please tell me how to do it, please, I'm begging you.

[Don'tLet'sStart]

Well certainly tips on how to do make your condition will not help.First off do you have anyone in your life who is aware that all this is going on, do any of your parents know or are you seeing anyone about this?

[iMuse]

My parents are suspicious. Please, it'll make me feel better, I know it will, food makes me feel sick

[Don'tLet'sStart]

Believe it or not, it most likely has nothing to do with the food. I have had many friends who have suffered from eating disorders and also from cutting and other types of self harming things. Really, both cutting and eating disorders are one in the same, because a big underlined motif (At least one of them) is the goal to gain control.

I suspect that something may have happened in your past, something that made you suffer on the inside mentally and emotionally. I also believe the food has nothing to do with it.

You do what you do, because perhaps it gives you a sense of control, in a life that seems rather chaotic otherwise. You have control of your life, you control your weight, and you defy the natural order of your system, from where your mind is standing and this self consciousness you have of yourself, you are taking command of your body. The one tangible, or controllable aspect of your life. Though there are many other motives of eating disorders and etc, this is a big one.

Whether that is what your case is or not, I can tell you that this will not solve anything for you, in fact over time it will progressively get worse. You are young, and you are in a position to turn this thing around, eating disorders are things that can be overcome actually, more so than most. You are no doubt a beautiful young girl, with much ahead of you.

As hard is it is, you will need to try to seek some help from either your parents, or an adult you trust. A Therapist can help you explore your mind and find out really why you are doing what you do. When you find the problem, you can find the solution. This whole thing is nothing to be ashamed about, and you have to trust that people will be willing to help you. A step at a time you can fix this, you just need to take the first step now and let everyone know what is going on.

It's far better to let them know, then have them find out on their own.

IF you need any help fighting this, feel free to contact me anytime. I'll be here daily.

[iMuse]

Originally Posted by Forrester

Believe it or not, it most likely has nothing to do with the food. I have had many friends who have suffered from eating disorders and also from cutting and other types of self harming things. Really, both cutting and eating disorders are one in the same, because a big underlined motif (At least one of them) is the goal to gain control.

I suspect that something may have happened in your past, something that made you suffer on the inside mentally and emotionally. I also believe the food has nothing to do with it.

You do what you do, because perhaps it gives you a sense of control, in a life that seems rather chaotic otherwise. You have control of your life, you control your weight, and you defy the natural order of your system, from where your mind is standing and this self consciousness you have of yourself, you are taking command of your body. The one tangible, or controllable aspect of your life. Though there are many other motives of eating disorders and etc, this is a big one.

Whether that is what your case is or not, I can tell you that this will not solve anything for you, in fact over time it will progressively get worse. You are young, and you are in a position to turn this thing around, eating disorders are things that can be overcome actually, more so than most. You are no doubt a beautiful young girl, with much ahead of you.

As hard is it is, you will need to try to seek some help from either your parents, or an adult you trust. A Therapist can help you explore your mind and find out really why you are doing what you do. When you find the problem, you can find the solution. This whole thing is nothing to be ashamed about, and you have to trust that people will be willing to help you. A step at a time you can fix this, you just need to take the first step now and let everyone know what is going on.

It's far better to let them know, then have them find out on their own.

IF you need any help fighting this, feel free to contact me anytime. I'll be here daily.

You sound like my counsellor!

I know it will get worse, but please, I really need to know!

[Don'tLet'sStart]

Well, one day I hope to be one.
Answer these though,

Do you see this as something you want to overcome, or are you fine with the way things are?

and

Do you, yourself, know why you are like this? Do you want to know why you are like this?

[WhoAmI?]

Originally Posted by iMuse

My parents are suspicious. Please, it'll make me feel better, I know it will, food makes me feel sick

Sweetie, I know how this feels and to be honest, you need to eat to survive. You need to eat more than one meal a day, you are only 12 years old and what you are doing to your body could drastically alter puberty for you and your parents will find out from the doctors when you pass out, end up in hospital or worst case - die from something going horribly wrong from all the self-imposed starvation and vomiting.
I know you feel out of control right now, but most ED's are about control - so guess what? You could eat (and not purge) and GAIN control over your life, I know it's hard but it is worth it.

Live.
Be Healthy.
Be Happy.
You cannot live a happy life if you are not healthy, remember that.


Take care!
PM me anytime!

[emma01]

We actually aren't allowed to post information about how to carry out ED behaviours, for obvious reasons. And no one with an ED or who has recovered from an ED will want to share how to do it, because we know it is hell...and I certainly don't wish it on anyone.

You have to eat...you just have to. You can lose weight by eating heaps more than one meal, and if you lose it healthily, you will feel so much better, and can avoid hospital and even worse, death. I just got out of hospital, and I was put on the nasogastric tube. It was HORRIBLE. Trust me, you dont ever want that. Also, with eating disorders, you never win. You either die thin, live a horrible life thin, or gain weight. You have to accept the latter option and just gain weight in the end...thats the only way to happiness.