I think my sister has an eating disorder

[Jamie_Mac]

Hello, my names jamie this my first time on this site.
Firstly me and my sister dont get on well were both very oppionated and quite stuborn a bad mix but im worried, im her older brother by the way shes 18 im 21.

I notice like...2 weeks ago when she wore like a skirt or something her legs were like skin and bone and her arms! And it shocked and scared me but i didnt think too much of it.. dont know why.

4 days ago while at a family meal that she was barely eating, my whole family had finished the meal and she had only eaten like two carrots even then she was chopping them in to tiny pieces. She then left the table sort of angry when i mentioned how slowly she was eating.

I went to work today and spend the whole day thinking about it, i know about anorixia however its spelt through hollyoaks and that blonde girl in it, and its really dangerous. Im worried and dont know what to do.

I spoke to my sister and she has noticed it too ,we dont know what to do at all.

Can anybody help please im really concerned

[emma01]

Hey, welcome to the site
First of all, it definately sounds as though she may have an eating disorder. Its hard to know exactly what to say to someone with an eating disorder, as most things you say are heard differently by the person suffering.
Because you and her aren't close, it will make things difficult, and im not saying you shouldn't worry, but maybe you shouldn't be the person confronting her. Maybe tell your parents, other sister or even one of her close friends that can keep a close eye on her, she may feel more comfortable being confronted someone she gets a long with. Im not saying completely ignore her, she needs your help too, but maybe just for a while just hang back a bit.

[MegaMadness]

Welcome to the site Jamie.
You sound like a really good brother to have and it's obvious you care about her very much. It's hard for me to say if she has an eating disorder, but it sounds like she may have one.

You should try and talk about your concerns with her or get someone else to like your sister, parents or one of her close friends. Let her know your concerns and that you are worried about her but don't push the subject and don't get angry if she doesn't want to talk. Suggest she see a doctor or talk to someone she feels comfortable with about this.

I hope that everything goes well and feel free to message me anytime, if you ever need anything at all.

[ComplexSimplicity]

aw you're a great big bro. so this kind of thing can be tricky. i have an ED and i can tell you that if someone isnt ready to stop they're just not gonna. BUT i think the best thing to do is tell her you are concerned. don't be accussatory but just try and be as objective as possible so be like "hey sis. i noticed you're getting really thin and you're not eating that much. i'm kind of worried about you. is there something bothering you?" and just seee what she says. she might not admit it and likely she'll be shocked but its good for her to know that you notice. i needed and wanted people to notice for a long time and no one did and in the end i made the decision to get help for myself but most girls wont do that. i wish someone had saved me sooner before it got this bad. best of luck to you all.

[p.weaver22]

Hope everything works out.

[Palmolive]

Hey there.

Firstly welcome to the site Secondly, i apologize if i repeat something someone else has already said.

My sister is seventeen and has been fighting anorexia for the past three years now. Im having problems with eating and purgeing too. Its really good of you that you're worried and that your trying to get advice on how to help her. Im sure that'll mean alot to her. I think, if like you said, you have spoken to her, the next step is seeking professinal help. This means going to the doctors or for her to see a nurse if shes in school or college. You can even go with her to support her. Im sure it will mean alot to her. You cant just get rid of an eating disorder, it will take time. However, she may be reffered to a dietition who will ensure shes getting the right vitimins etc and will most likly weigh her to ensure she doesnt become seriously underweight. Chances are if she does become serisoudlt underweight and becomes ill, she may neet to go to hospital. This may be a general hispital if she needs medical attention or it may be a psych unit where they will keep on eye on her, give her emotinal support and will put her on a diet plan to make sure she is eating the right amount etc. However, if it doesnt come to that point she may also be reffered to an eating disorder specilist who will weigh her, and place her onto a diet plan and do the emotinal support but out-patient.

The main thing right now is to make sure she gets the help she needs in order for her to get better.

I hope things become better and feel free to PM me if you ever need a chat od any advice.

Jeessss

Hey there,

It sounds like you really do care about your sister and if she does have an ED love and care and support is what she is going to be.

Now, the first thing you have to realize is that you cannot force your sister to get help. As much as you may want to if she doesn't believe she has a problem or doesn't want help then she is not going to seek the help you guys want her to.

Do you think your parents know what is going on? If not maybe you could sit down and talk to them about the things you are concerned about? It could be a hard thing to do but rallying the rest of your family behind you in this could really help.

I think that you should definitely consider talking to your sister about this and let her know that you are extremely worried about her and want her to get help. Most likely when you talk to her she is going to say things like 'I am fine' or 'you don't care' etc. She is going to say a lot of horrible things but talking to her could help.

If she does deny it maybe you could suggest that she go to a doctor just to ease your mind. She may or may not be willing to do it.

Lastly, the biggest thing you can do is just be there to support her. She might deny help for a while but hopefully with time and with understanding and love from you and the rest of her family she will realize that she can/should get help.

Please hang in there and if you need anything feel free to pm me.

Jenna

[MadPoet]

Hi Jamie,

It is great that you are looking out for your sister, even if the two of you do not always get along. That's very big of you, you obviously care about your sister, maybe even a bit more than you think. It's never easy when we feel a family member is struggling with something as serious as an eating disorder, and it's definitely difficult to decide which steps to take when we are fearing for their safety. I can understand why you are confused and not sure what you should do from this point. Realize, though, that you are already doing so much simply by caring for your sister.

Personally, I think that the best thing you can do right now is confront her. First, sit down with your other sister, the one who also noticed, and come up with a time to confront your sister. Both of you confronting her may make it a bit easier for you, and it will help your sister to realize that you are not the only one who has noticed this, and that the two of you are really serious about this. Plan out what you are going to say to your sister beforehand, and be sure that you know exactly how to talk things through with her.

The important thing is that you try to remain understanding throughout all of this. Chances are, your sister is scared. It's never easy to tell someone something such as this, and she may feel angry and humiliated. She probably won't want anyone to find out about this. She might try to deny it at first, but don't give up. Don't criticize her or become angry with her when and if you find out that she does in fact have an eating disorder. That's the last thing she needs right now.

I really hope things work out! Good luck.