Eating disorder?

[alysaurus]

I have a question about an eating disorder, if it should be called that. I had it at one point, and sometimes because I'm a depressive person it'll happen again for one or a few days, maybe as long as a week depending on what's going on.

I always look at my body realistically, in my opinion. I am not overweight. I am not 'skinny'. I am content with my weight and I really always have been. But when things weren't going well and I hated myself for one reason or another, I would stop eating. It wasn't to make myself beautiful or anything. It was a kind of... Punishment I guess. I always gained back the few pounds I would lose for doing this - as far as I know, there was no permanent damage, and it never lasted very long. (as I said, rarely any longer than a week).

I've never heard of this before, and wondered if anyone else had or if research had been done, or if it's just seen as a type of self harm, not an eating disorder. Don't worry, I'm not having any trouble right now. It was just on my mind while I was thinking about something, and I got curious.

[Tiny_93]

It's not necessarily an eating disorder as you do eat. Do you not eat because you don't feel like or just because you are using it as a "punishment"?

It sounds more like binge eating but not bulimia - not eating for a few days then eating a lot and putting the weight back on. And this isn't healthy. I used to be anorexic, and believe me, having a ED is the worst thing!

You say you are happy with your weight, so I would say, in ways it is a type of SH - but also an ED can be classed as SH. Instead of calling it an ED, it's more "eating problems". An ED is a mental illness. Eating problems on the other hand are not as bad. You need to find a healthy way of dealing with stress or when you are unhappy. You may not see any permanent damage on the outside, but you don't know what you're doing to yourself inside.

Bear in mind that we are not proffessionals on this site, so unfortunately I can't diagnose you. Hope this helps, if you need to talk just PM me.

Laura

[Casey.]

Hey Ali,

It sounds like disordered eating to me. Disordered eating is odd food behavoiurs, like restricting, that is not related to eating disorders. But then again, I am not a professional.

Eating disorders are often, if not always, not about weight. But they are about control, punishment, perfection. People may focus on the weight, or on not eating, but it's because they really want control, and this is something that they can 'control'.

Restricting can be used as a form of self harm, and even just doing it for a week can be dangerous to your health. If you think you are going to restrict again, talk to someone first. Let someone know what's going on. You might also want to try the alternatives list, it isn't just for self harm, it can work for eating issues, among other things.

If you need anything, or want to chat, feel free to pm me.

[alysaurus]

Thank you both for your help!

@Tiny: It's more of a punishment. I feel that I'm hungry to the point of pain, but I don't do anything about it for a while. Sometimes while I'm going through one of these periods I do eat, just not nearly enough. I'll snack on something like lettuce or chips or something for a little while, but not enough to stop feeling hungry for very long. I'm not sure exactly why I do it - it depends. Sometimes it's something as simple as stress, but usually it's because I feel guilty about something. Maybe I got a angry at my partner, or thought about something bad... Other times it goes with the random patterns of my depression, where I'll be feeling terrible for no reason and don't feel as if I should eat. I guess a kind of 'I'm not good enough' mentality.

I see what you mean about it being binge eating. I don't know though, how much is 'eating a lot'? I haven't really bothered to pay attention, but when I start eating again I don't think I eat too much more than usual. Maybe on the first day or two, depending on how long I went without eating much, I'll snack a lot more than usual, but I'm not sure how much is significant.

So 'eating disorder' is too harsh of a term? Both said something along those lines, and I see what you mean. The problems usually seem to go hand in hand with something else, and I kind of thought eating disorders were more about weight, but I don't know much more about them than you learn in school or watch in films.

@Cas: Hm, I never thought about it in terms of control. If I look at it that way, I usually do it at times where I feel like I can't do anything about a situation. Perhaps it could explain the times when it happens...?

You both helped so much, but I can't write everything I wanted to, have to rush to school! Thanks!