Getting through Anorexia

[Yen]

Well, one of the reasons I wanted to come back to TH was to be able to talk to some objective people about my ED.

Well, I moved away from home just about 2 years ago. I left everything and every one that I'd known for 18 years to come live on my own in Oregon. I had no job, no friends, and no real direction except that I wanted to go to college ASAP. Well, after a month I got a job working at a Wendy's restaurant. It was hard work but it was a job and it kept a roof over my head. Well, over the next few months I felt I had less and less control over my own life. I was told when I could sit, when I could stand, when I could go to the bathroom, and when I should eat. It was very stressful and I'm not one for taking orders :P. Under all this was also a desire to get really fit and in shape. I wanted to go back to Hawaii looking totally different. Well, all of these things combined and I soon found myself eating a bowl of cereal, an apple, and a leaf of lettuce every day. I felt that anything more was too much and I would make myself fat. Now, I'm a big-framed guy, meant to be muscular, and meant to eat a lot lol. I dropped a lot of weight and felt very weak, tired, irritable, and hungry all the time. It was a while before I realized I was Anorexic. Since that time, about a year ago, I've put on a little weight and I'm healthy again. I live here in Oregon but with my 2 best childhood friends. It helps a lot but I'm still afraid of eating a lot of things. I limit my diet a lot. I'm terrified of fat containing foods. For the most part, I now just eat really really healthy foods. I'd just like to let myself enjoy life a little once in a while... Participating in pizza night with my friends, brownies, the occasional chip... I just can't seem to bring myself to that point yet. ANy one maybe have a little advice? Thanks

[Jovial.]

Hello Ian,
Hey why dont you remind yoursaelf what those things tasted like before you stopped eating them did you like them? do you miss the taste?
Why not try starting with something very little that is sweet then get bigger.
Baby steps are better then no steps at all.
If you need anything feel free to shoot me a pm
Take care and I hope everything goes well for you

[Casey.]

Hey Ian,

I know it can be terrifying to eat some things, like pizza or a cookie, but sometimes we have to do it anyway. Don't force yourself to eat anything. Recovery from anorexia is a very long, difficult path, it takes a lot of baby steps, and even going backwards sometimes, to get better. I wish I could say it was normal to fear food, or fat containing food, but I can't. It is common though.

If you want to start eating other things again, like that pizza, then you need to take it a bite at a time, and start small. Start with trying a few chips, or a cookie, introduce these foods a little at a time. You could also try talking yourself that it's okay to eat it. I have to do that, like if I really want a cookie, it's hard to take that first bite, but if I tell myself that it will be okay if I eat that cookie, and that cookie will not make me fat, then I can take a bite. Usually the first bite is the hardest, but once you try it, and start adding sugar and fat back to your diet, then it should get a bit easier. Remember that sugar and fat are good for us, in portions.

If you need anything, or want to talk, feel free to pm me.

[Yen]

Thanks a lot . I do do things by baby steps and it's been working. I don't get enough fat in my diet so I've been going with peanutbutter, olive Oil, and eggs to get some in there. I'm doing loads better but still have a ways to go, I think

[LeahLouise]

Hi Ian,
I know after a long time of not eating food which you may consider high in fat can be terrifying..
But i think you need to start introducing them in slowly... Some foods contain fats which are essential to be healthy!
Maybe just start of by having one thing a week and slowly slowly increase what you have
But remember sugars and fats are essential in EVERYONES diet.
We need a balanced diet to be perfectly healthy
If you find it too hard try writing down why you should eat it. Then you have to write just as many reasons as too why you don't want to eat it.
Good luck