Triggering: Anorexia, Depression, Suicidal thoughts; Let me go

[escape_thereal_world]

My life is so damn pointless. All that ever happens is I end up hurting one way or another.

The guy I fell in love with broke my heart for another girl and didn't tell me he was her boyfriend until 5 days after the fact.Talk about an ouch...

"How are you?"

I dont know how to say it. No words seem right. Ive never been this bad before. Never been this depressed. Never felt this empty in my life. Not even suicide would satisfy me this time. Id much rather live a very horrid life on the streets, begging for food and shelter, than live how I am right now.

Alright, yup, yup. I'm crying now.

My best friend wants to date me but I'm terrified to date anyone again, especially my best friend. If it ends badly...our friendship will be ruined.

Someone I thought was a good friend told me I was annoying, overbearing, and talked too much. Wtf? Then again...I did ask him to tell me what he thought of me...

This guy I've crushed on all this year is dating this witch and I don't understand why. She doesn't understand him. She's conceited. And she makes him feel bad...He deserves so much better than that. :/ I'm afraid she's bringing him back into his depression again. *Sigh* But if I tell him to dump her he' going to think it's because I want him. And in a sense I do, but I know I'm not right for him either. I just want him to be with someone who will make him HAPPY, not upset and feel bad about himself. He's afraid to talk to her.

Anyways. My mom is severely ill and she uses it as a crutch for everything. It sucks. I'm the god damn adult in my family. I hate it. I'm the youngest and I'm the damn adult.

I'm trying to find a job but no such luck and I'm trying to get into college but various obstacles are keeping me from it. I just want out of the house, I want to be productive. I want to make something of my life before I go insane!

I hate my body. Everyone says it's so sexy and perfect and I look great and etc. But I don't see it. I hate it. I feel fat and I feel gross and I just wish I looked pretty to myself...I've been starving myself again. Worse than ever this time though.

My mom and sister are really close and I'm shoved out of the picture, just like old times.

I see his name and I just feel this sharp pain in my heart, all the time. He doesn't miss me at all...He doesn't care at all. I was just a sex object for him until he found something closer. Something more experienced and more willing. I was only an object to him for 7 months while he was the love of my life forever.

Holy crap, I didn't realize how badly I needed to cry

[savealife723]

oh, wow. gosh.
i'm really sorry you're going all through this /:
but crying and getting it out always helps.
i hope things will soon look up for you.
you deserve it after all of this.
):
PM me if you ever need anything.

[AlenRose_XX]

Hey. It sounds like you're going through a bunch right now. Excuse the obvious statement. I know how you feel about the being young but being the adult and hating your body. It's hard to deal with, and things we really shouldn't have to do. It's okay to cry. It helps the flow of emotions and makes you feel better. You seem really over whelmed, which could be an understatement, but still. It's gonna be an extremely rough time, but you can get through it. You seem very strong. If you ever wanna talk, feel free to PM me anytime and I'll do my best to help. Feel better hon. :] <3