Bulimia Nervosa and suffering.

[Autumnskys1]

So I have struggled with Bulimia Nervosa since I was around 10. It wasn't that bad until I hit high school and since then it has only gotten worse. A few weeks ago is when I really noticed it was getting bad. I started throwing up a little bit of blood, although that isn't really normally I thought it was. Until a couple weeks after it kept happening and it only got worse. Now it is to the point any time I throw up it is mostly all blood and it is dark red, my throat is always burning. It hurts to breath, swallow pretty much anything. Yet I still do it. I haven't gone to the hospital but I know I should. Yet the worst part is I don't know if I am ready to or even if I want to.

Hey there,


I am sorry you are struggling so much. I know you say that you aren't sure you want to get help but you really need too. When you start vomiting blood it can be a sign of all types of different things and some of those things can lead to death. Bulimia takes a toll on the body and the longer you go without help the more you are risking that you'll have severe complications. I know all of this sounds scary but your health is so important and you need to be aware of the dangers.


You mentioned you don't know if you are ready to get help and I am wondering if you know what might lead to you getting to a place where you will seek help. Do you have things in life that are preventing you from getting help that you might be able to work on so that you'll be willing to accept the help?

[Autumnskys1]

Thanks and I have reasons on wanting to get help and reasons why not to. Plus I know what can happen and people think I have something called hematemesis, but I believe it will be ok if it gets worse it does if it gets better it does.

[Unchained Melody]

Destiny, I have never suffered from this or any sort of eating disorder so for me to say I know where you are coming from would not be the truth. I do however know that vomiting up blood is not a good thing and should be seen by a Doctor or at an ER right away. You could be vomiting blood because certain organs in your body are really messed up and need to be checked out and corrected right away. I hope you decided to get it checked out.

[Latte]

While I think that you absolutely need to see a doctor urgently and get this treated AND that you need to fess up to you true medical history, including the bulimia, and you obviously have reasons for and against recovery right now, I think you need to look at the fact that there are 2 separate issues.

1. The bulimia, which is likely the root cause
2. The puking up blood, which is the emergent situation.

I think you need to focus on getting the emergent situation handled immediately. Puking up blood is a sign of so many major health issues. If you are still actively purging, this situation probably won't resolve on it's own if it is being brought on or exaggerated by the purging because you'll constantly be aggravating the issue, but regardless, that only doubles the reason for needing immediate medical attention because you're current lifestyle/mental state/state of physical health isn't likely to allow for easy recovery.

Yes, recovery is important, but no, none of us can make you do that before you're ready. I've suffered from bulimia for, well, it probably started when I was 8 (just the seed, just enough to grow and get worse), became full blown when I was in university, the causes still lingers today and I go to therapy and have a dietitian for recovering from it. I get it, but you still need to see a doctor if you're puking. Look, you need to recover, especially if it is causing you to vomit blood but you also need to realize that vomiting blood is dangerous and you could risking permanent damage if you don't get help for that aspect alone, recovery or not. So please, please, consider setting aside recovery, accept that that can come later, but please just get the bloody vomit part handled and go from there ok, let the doctors tell you about recovery, take that information, hold onto it, and consider at least taking baby steps towards recovery,.... ok, I'm circling now, please don't take it lightly ok.

Hey Destiny,

I am so sorry you are struggling with this, I know how hard eating disorders are. I have been diagnosed with EDNOS then Bulimia and have struggled with my body image since I was young.

Puking up blood is really dangerous and can be caused by a lot of different things. I strongly urge you to talk to your mom or who ever you live with and have them make you a doctors appointment to get this checked out. You will have to be completely honest about the purging but that is so you can get help.

You say you aren't sure if you want to get help or not. Do you mean your not sure if you want to recover from your eating disorder?

I think this is two different things to deal with. I would suggest focusing on figuring out what is causing you to purge blood and to get that under control and fixed. Then worry about the purging. But I will say if you continue purging once you get the other problem solved it will probably not stay fixed for long. But you still need to get it looked at soon.

You have to be 100% ready to recover for yourself and not anyone else from an eating disorder for it to work. I tried recovering for other people and it never worked and then once I realized I need to do it for me and only me I have been doing really good.

If you ever need to talk, about this or anything else I am just a pm/vm away.
Frankie<3

[*Tutu*]

Hi, I have suffered with a ED since I was 11 years old and have also at the very young age of 12 was spotting blood when I vomited. Now from your post I know ED is a rough disease but coming from someone who has been down this road this is not something you want to play with. I am going to put this plain and simple to you and you can say I am being harsh or whatever but not doing something about this is not smart on your part. What had happened in my case was because of the vomiting I was doing my esophagus got so irritated and began to tear and eventually ruptured which caused the blood in the vomit. If I didn't get it treated it could have then caused death because other organs could have been affected. So get it treated.

[Tiffers95]

Hi Destiny, I agree with what everyone has said here that vomiting up blood is a very serious condition and something not to be fooled around with. The other concern I have though is the underlying message you are sending by saying that you may not even want to get this checked out or get help for this. I am studying for my Master's in School counseling and this is a huge trigger sign for me. If you need to chat please message me. My name is Tiffany.