worried that I might have developed an eating disorder

[xStarr]

I'm concerned that I might have an eating disorder...last year I lost quite a bit of weight because I was obese, and I'm now at a healthy weight but I still think I'm fat. When I look in the mirror it seems like my stomach is huge and it drives me mad, I hate it! I think about my weight all the time and have gotten a bad habit of putting my hand over my stomach to see how big it is way too often. A few months ago I gained a few pounds due to some hormonal issues and stupid as it sounds I am so depressed and angry about it and spend a lot of time thinking about it and trying to lose weight even though I'm still a healthy weight. I'm really picky about what I eat and there are lots of foods that I won't even consider eating anymore because I think they have too many calories but they really aren't that bad. I won't go clothes shopping anymore only because I went up a size. I have this idea in my head of how my body should look but I don't know if I'll ever be be thin enough and I'm pretty sure I probably wouldn't be healthy if I did. That sounds shallow and I know there is more to me than my looks but I can't help worrying about it. Does this sound like an eating disorder? :/ I don't know what to do...

[Loveliz]

some of the components sort of match up with that but an ED is like a little more complex then cutting foods out and hating the little bit of fat you have on you and worrying about it or being self confident at the mall. maybe you could message me and i could tell you about it a little more because me im trying to recover from one but i dont want to say anything in too much detail on here becuase i dont want to triggor anyone else

[gymnastxxLeah]

Like Elizabeth said,
ED's are VERY complex. it sounds like some of the mindset of an ED is there... But notthe symptoms that make and eating disorder an eating disorder.
It sounds like you DO have a low self-esteem and some self-consiousness... But there aren't symptoms present for an eating disorder.

No one here on TH can diagnose you. We are not doctors.

If you have any symptoms like restricting calories DANGEROUSLY, obsessive exercise (an this doesn't mean 30 minutes everyday. When i was at my worst point I was exercising in secret 3 hours on weekdays and 5 on weekends.) purging, laxative abuse, binging, or fasting... Then you absolutely need to speak up, because that is eating disordered behavior, and it is extremely dangerous.

I think you have the low self-esteem that contributes to an eating disorder, but I wouldn't say you have an ED.

[Coffee.]

Hey Audrey,

Nobody here is qualified to diagnose you with an eating disorder, only a professional could tell you that. However, your habits are habits that a lot of ED sufferers started out with, an obsession with food, obsession over weight, unhappiness with your body, ext. I would really recommend you talk to somebody about how you're feeling, maybe starting with a friend, then moving on from there. This is not something you have to suffer with alone, secrets are what keep people sick.

Is there an adult you trust talking about this with? Maybe a doctor, parent, teacher, anybody really that can help you obtain the help you need? What about just a friend, who you could possibly see a guidance counselor with, and could help you be able to face eating again? Overall, allow yourself to be vulnerable, you need to open up if you ever want to be able to be happy and eat again. It's really scary, trust me, but overall helping yourself by allowing yourself those moments of weakness will overall make you stronger in the future.

Hope this helps, PM me if you ever need to talk, okay?