Nightmares

[¯|_(ツ)_|¯]

How do you deal with nightmares? I’ve been having disorienting dreams where I have seizures when I nap and I’ll wake up in the dream but not for real and also disorienting and realistic sexual dreams when I nap where I wake up in the dream but not in real life and those get so uncomfortable and disorienting but this is my first full on at-night nightmare. I woke up with chest pain and had to take anxiety meds to calm down. I also did the “wake up” thing where I can’t tell if I’m actually awake or just woke up in the nightmare. How do you all deal? I’m scared to go back to sleep :/

[Arabesque- golfing girl.]

Hi Dez,

I am so sorry that you are getting nightmares, they are horrible to have. When this happens to me or my little cousins, I tell myself and them that what you we're just dreaming about is not real and you are safe. Then you should try to take a few deep breaths to help calm you down and if you can turn on a light, do that and find something to help comfort you. Playing with your little piggies or coloring or watching movies or something else. I hope they stop soon for you and you will be okay soon.

[Starseeker]

Hi Dez,

I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this. It sounds really scary and I imagine it's taking its toll on your mental and physical health.
I would recommend to try the following things:

• Avoid exposing yourself to disturbing content (horror movies, upsetting videos/articles, negativity coming from the TV/radio news etc.). And definitely don't do that soon before sleep time.
• Try to incorporate some relaxation into your bedtime routine. It would be great to limit screen time before bed, too. Perhaps there are some relaxation techniques that work for you particularly well, but if you don't have any ideas, I'd recommend drinking camomile tea, taking a bath/hot shower, stretching, listening to calm music/sounds, burning a lavender candle/using lavender oil.
• Add a constant source of light into your room. This one was most important to me when I was experiencing nightmares in the past. It doesn't have to be some strong ceiling light that you use during the day (this type could make it even harder to fall asleep, as the room would be simply too bright). I used a lava lamp which was on the whole night. There are many different types of night lamps you could try. To me this one was important because sometimes I would wake up in the night, and I had the unsettling feeling there's something/someone out in the darkness, but once I started using the lamp, I was able to see my room was empty and there was nothing to be afraid of
• Once you are ready, try to make your sleep schedule as consistent as possible (meaning: make your bedtime and wake up time same/similar every day).

I hope this helps. Please let me know if you use any of the tips provided (and if they worked). I really hope you get better soon. Fingers crossed!
xx Sue

[Storyteller.]

Just to clarify - are the nightmares happening when you nap, or are you having nightmares in which you are napping? I feel like it's the former but just wanted to check before I gave any advice.

[¯|_(ツ)_|¯]

Originally Posted by Storyteller.

Just to clarify - are the nightmares happening when you nap, or are you having nightmares in which you are napping? I feel like it's the former but just wanted to check before I gave any advice.

Nightmares when I nap. The one the other night was the first one I had that was actually at night.

[Dawn.]

Hi Ennui.

I can't imagine how scary this must be for you. Is there a trigger that you think might be causing these nightmares? The only thing I can suggest is creating a soothing bedtime routine such as running a bath, mediating or listening to calming music. I have experienced quite vivid nightmares as well and they have not been pleasant. However, I found that they were triggered by what I had watched the night before or what I had experienced throughout the day.

[Everglow.]

Nightmares are awful, especially the ones that are really disorienting. I'm sorry you're dealing with that.

Whenever I have a particularly bad dream, the only way I can settle again is to get out of bed and move around a bit to detach myself from it. I always check things are as they should be (e.g. the other night I had a nightmare that my teeth were falling out, so I went to the bathroom and checked they were still there).
I also always keep water handy. I have a thermal bottle so it's very cold. I find cold water helps to ground me. Sometimes if I'm particularly disoriented or anxious I will spend some time sitting on the side of my bed doing more grounding techniques too, like touching the cold wall, or bouncing my leg. It could help to remind you that you are here, and not there anymore.

Before bed, it's always good to keep away from any possible triggers, such as intense TV or films, books with triggering content etc. You could try inventing a new bedtime routine that is relaxing for you. For example, doing some skincare, lighting a candle, journalling, or even taking a relaxing bath to wind down before sleeping. Lavender can also soothe sleep, so you could try a sleep spray for your pillow, or some essential oils near your bed.

If the nightmares and anxiety continue though it never hurts to ask for help professionally, so maybe you could speak to your doctor/therapist if nothing else is helping.

I hope this helps and that the nightmares stop soon!

[Moxie.]

Nightmares are awful and they are even more difficult when they cause you to wake up disoriented or feeling out of touch with reality. I've suffered from nightmares and night terrors for a good chunk of my life and, while they can't be stopped entirely, there are some things that can help you recover from the immediate aftermath.

One thing that I've found to be helpful is to utilize grounding techniques. This is especially helpful when I wake up and can't quite tell if I'm still dreaming or if what happened in the dream was real. Sometimes, that looks like traditional grounding methods (things you can see, touch, hear, etc.). Other times, that looks like doing something or engaging with something that makes it clear that I am in the "real world". For instance, I might check my phone to get the date and exact time, which doesn't often appear in dreams for me. Or, I will look at photos or videos that I have distinct memories of to help me get back to a sense of reality. If grounding fails, getting up and walking around has also been helpful for me, primarily because it gives me a sense of control since I can decide where to go, what to touch, etc., which is an agency I often lack in more intense nightmares.

When I have a nightmare that makes me afraid to go back to sleep, I typically don't push it. Instead, I'll do a calming activity to help my nervous system. Sometimes, I'll get up and color or read a book until I start to feel tired again. If I feel too activated for a focused activity, I'll put on a comforting TV show, such as a cartoon or a feel-good sitcom. While it can be tempting to look at TikTok or other social media to clear your mind, I would recommend avoiding that, as you never quite know what will come up on your feed. It's best to avoid anything that may be overstimulating or could potentially re-trigger any thoughts associated with the nightmare. If looking at social media truly feels like the only thing that might be helpful, you may want to focus on looking at videos or posts from a specific creator or set of creators that you find comforting, rather than blindly scrolling through your FYP or feed.

I hope this helps!

[Storyteller.]

Originally Posted by Ennui.

Nightmares when I nap. The one the other night was the first one I had that was actually at night.

Thank you for the clarification! Honestly, the fact that it happens during naps might actually be part of the problem. I know that when I used to nap more frequently I also had more frequent nightmares, both when I was napping and eventually at night as well. I don't know the exact science behind it but my guess is it's something to do with sleep cycles and how napping too much/at the wrong time/for the wrong amount of time can affect them. The more nightmares you have the worse your sleep cycles get, which leads to stress, which leads to nightmares... you get the point. So, the first thing to look at is (if you can) adjusting your sleep schedule so that you don't nap as often, and get an appropriate amount of sleep at night. Obviously that's easier said than done, but any steps you can take towards getting a good, full night's sleep could potentially help take the edge off the nightmares.

Since nightmares often get worse during times of stress, if you can do anything to reduce your overall stress levels I would highly recommend it.This could include taking action to resolve any practical issues you might have (such as looming deadlines or overdue housework) as well as doing self-care to keep your mental health steady (such as meditation or grounding techniques). If the nightmares have recurring themes or events then that's likely worth unpacking as well, perhaps by journalling about it or discussing it with a mental health professional. Since dreams aren't always straightforward it could also be useful to consider what the nightmares are telling you rather than what's actually happening in them - for example maybe the dreams about seizures could represent the loss of a sense of control, or the sexual dreams might indicate a concern about people crossing boundaries you've set. Dream symbolism can be very subjective so while it can be good to look up existing resources as a starting point, some introspection to understand what your dreams specifically mean (if anything) might be a good idea.

As far as confusion regarding waking vs sleeping goes - are there any senses that you find yourself not noticing in your dreams? I'm guessing you likely see things in your dreams, and probably hear things as well, but do you ever wake up with a strong memory of, say, a scent or a physical sensation? If not, you could implement some relevant grounding techniques so that if you do wake up from a nightmare you can bring yourself back to full wakefulness and awareness quickly, and potentially even help your dream-self determine when you're dreaming. For example I sometimes use essential oils during my pre-sleep routine, and if I wake up during the night and feel disoriented I can use them again. Since I don't often have strong olfactory sensations during dreams, that helps remind me that I'm awake. It can take some trial and error to figure out what works for you, so don't be afraid to try a few things out.

Finally, and this might seem counterintuitive, in some cases it can actually help to seek out content that unsettles you or makes you uncomfortable. I've found that sometimes setting aside time to deliberately feel scared or stressed (for example by watching a horror movie or playing an intense video game) can help me feel more relaxed overall because I can get it all out of my system at once, and then I'll sleep better because my already-overactive mind has already tired itself out. It's probably not a good idea to do this right before you go to sleep, but regularly (and safely) purging all those negative emotions can be beneficial in the long run. Just be careful with your limits and triggers so that you don't end up pushing yourself too far.

I hope some of the above is helpful, and as with any issue definitely reach out for professional help if you're in a position to do so (and feel that you need it). Good quality sleep is vital for proper functioning, so nightmares can be incredibly disruptive to everyday life. It's usually better to tackle them head-on and as pro-actively as you can to avoid the situation snowballing. Feel free to reach out any time if you need!