What helps you stay strong?

[DeletedAccount53]

I was wondering if we could share something that helps us stay strong or any advice you might have for someone who is struggling to keep going? Something that helps you or your words of support might really help someone this year.




Every day I self-care for my poorly sister, giving her space when she needs, carrying her when walking just gets too much. Or just sitting with her, holding her hand or reading one of her favourite books. Every day I check in with our Maman to make sure she's good. Sometimes she finds days hard going and I know she misses her friends. And I self-care for myself as I am the strongest in my family and take leadership of us.

What also helps me keep going is the New Year that brings Covid vaccine hope and the promise of better days to come.

[Rivière]

Whenever I have moments when I feel like I'm struggling, I look back at where I used to be. I think of all the struggles I've been through in my life and think how far I've come.

University was one of the most difficult times of my life, not because of the work itself, but the people I was surrounded by. I fell deeply in love and had my heart broken in two. My own fault really. I also made a friend there whom I thought much of, but we clashed often because she and I had very different views on behaviour and how one should behave towards others.

I look at all the good parts of my time there as well. I made a great circle of good, wonderful friends. One in particular whom I became so close to that in the span of just a few months, she knew me better than anyone else there could ever have done. I confided so many secrets in her. She sat there and let me cry, and hugged me when I needed it the most.

Definitely looking back on the hardships we've each been through shows just how strong we really are. It demonstrates perseverance despite all odds, and a willingness to survive.

[DeletedAccount53]

Thank you Sarah.

[Celyn]

I agree with Sarah about reflecting on previous hardships and realising how we got through them can help. I also like to reflect on happier times and remember that there are still good times ahead and I like to imagine future good times in the hope that they can one day happen. It helps to keep me motivated and keep me going

[DeletedAccount53]

Thank you Celyn

I think the most important thing is not to get caught up on the past in the context of "what should have/could have/would have been" as well as not getting to carried away with 'dreams' of the future. Stay in the present moment, be grounded and aware of your surroundings.

At any point throughout the day — preferably in the evening or shortly before bed — take some time for yourself and review the past ten or so hours. What have you accomplished? Were there anything that made you sad or mad? What can be done to remedy that? In this sense, it is ok to think about the future; but only in the immediate future, such as the following day or week.

Other things that help me stay strong is doing projects and finding things that make me feel useful... such as being on here.

I think this time of year is difficult for a lot of people due to the cold weather and short days/long nights.

[Everglow.]

For me, looking for things I'm grateful for etc doesn't always work because I feel like that way, I can't justify how I feel in the moment. I'm trying to make more of an effort to acknowledge how I feel and allow myself to feel it without criticising myself too much for it. Self-care includes kindness to yourself and I think many people, myself included, really struggle to remember that when things are hard.

Otherwise, trying to not isolate myself is something I try to do as well. I usually try to talk to my friends, even if it's just a distraction, so that at least I'm not on my own and I have company for a while. If I'm not in a good place, suggesting something like a walk can be helpful too as the fresh air is beneficial. But mostly, simple things keep me grounded and busy. Playing some games with friends, a quiz, watching a feel-good movie or TV show.

I also find self care is really helpful too. For me, this involves a long, hot shower, and a facemask, a skincare routine, and just feeling fresher and more well put together. I always end up feeling slightly more productive because of that, even though in reality I haven't done much, but it helps me to feel like I can function still.

[hocus pocus]

There are a few different things that come to mind, but for me, my anger keeps me strong. It kind of puts a fire under me and makes me want to better myself and be better than my abusers. It motivates me as odd as that might sound.

[HowrdJns89]

my family and my son!