Mental health well, wanting to volunteer here

[ladoglover]

Hey, I haven't got any news about chat buddy. I'm sure it got sent to me. It just did not come in my mailbox. My mental health seems to be okay lately. I am starting a at home job. What's every one up to? How's everyone feeling?

Just a short vent below that I modified and made sure it followed the rules with cyn help
Using the mental hospital too much can be a crutch . I have been through a ton of low times in my life and I do not run to the hospital every time im super low. I dealt with major depression on my own no med no therapy when I was in community college and bachlors. I still didn't quit college. I pushed through. I kept going even through the hard times and trust me I had a lot of low times in college.

Let me be chat buddy and then in February I can fulfill my role please. I'm going to see if I can apply for the volunteer role for the I think it was called the one that welcomes people. I forgot somebody told me about it in a reply to my post. I'll go back and look.

Hello Lauri,

I want to point out how detrimental it is to state that people use the hospital as a crutch. Many people struggle with reaching out and getting help when they need and things like this could very well prevent them from seeking help when they need it. While you have the right to your opinion, you have to realize that everyone is different. You may have been able to do it without going to the hospital or dropping out of school but that doesn't mean everyone can.

When you get into the mental health field, you are going to run into a lot of different clients. Some are going to have different coping skills and different ways of seeking help. Do you think that telling one of your clients that going to the hospital and dropping out of school, is a crutch, would be beneficial to their health or do you think it'd harm them? As a therapist you have to remain objective and see both sides. It's not always easy but you are gonna work with clients who you don't agree with and if you say something like this to them it could prevent them from getting help.

I would definitely recommend taking some time to evaluate your thoughts and think 'is this something that would help someone to hear or harm them?'.

Some clients need people to be blunt with them and some clients do use the hospital as a way to feel safe in a world that they don't feel much safety; however, that doesn't mean we should condemn them or say it's a crutch. Imagine saying that to a client and then they don't seek hospitalization at a time when they really need. Think of what the repercussions would be.

Best regards.

I am glad your mental health is doing better, Lauri. I will note that a couple of days ago you said your mental health was doing poorly. I am wondering if you are in any way tracking your moods, by journaling or maybe with an app? There's loads of apps that serve as mood trackers and they can be really helpful. I am not discrediting your feeling better, or saying that it's inauthentic or not real somehow, but I have noticed you tend to post a lot of up and down. It might be helpful to try and figure out what is causing such frequent shifts and if there's anything you can do to mitigate it.

There's this book I love called The Usual Error. It's about communication and relationships but it has a lot of insights into personal growth, too. Basically, the "usual error" is that we all assume everyone thinks just like us. I find that's an easy mistake to make and I think it may be what's going on here, for you. It's awesome and amazing that you were able to get through hard times without the mental hospital, but that doesn't mean everyone else can do the same. Sometimes a stay in the mental hospital is direct prevention for hurting oneself or others. If someone really feels they're at risk for harm it's important that they should go. That's what they're there for, even if someone goes multiple times. I understand you are doing your best to be encouraging but I think it's important to note that just because you could do something a certain way doesn't mean everyone else can.

I know you have a compassionate heart and I hope you continue to work on improving relationships with yourself and others. I hope your mental health continues to stabilize, too. It's always nice to feel like one is stable.

[ladoglover]

Of course I wouldn't say that to my clients face. In side me though it would be frustrating to know that I know this person could try harder and they aren't. Also be frustrating when I know it seems there running to the hospital for every little thing which is coming off as they like being mentally ill and like the attention they get at the mental hospital. It seems that way because they really have nothing to be severely depressed about therefore it seems the times they say I have been having suicidal thoughts lately or whatever is really just to get put in the mental hospital again because they like the attention and caring they get from the mental hospital. Yes, they might be having suicidal thoughts but since they really have nothing to be severely depressed about then the thoughts are probably mild I feel and the patient can seriously using coping skills to deal with them and they will just pass instead of making them bigger what they are to get put in a mental hospital.

I am scared to be blunt but sometimes it is needed and being blunt does not mean uncaring if you say it in a caring way.

I just finished a year of grad school.2 years or 2 years and a half to go.


Yes, I usually say I am feeling so horrible to get some caring and compassion. Also, I say it so the people that hurt me on here feel horrible for how they treated me. Also, so people feel badly that I'm banned from chat. I have BPD and so its hard to explain. Even though it seems intentional because I know what I'm doing and manipulative its not. Its not intentional in the way people think of intentional in that I'm being bad, manipulative and so on. I'm not. I'm trying to get my needs met in the only way I know how or feel that I could get my needs met. Also wanting some one to feel bad for hurting me well that's the only way I know how to get that need met of wanting some one to truly know they hurt me because when I say you have hurt me it doesn't seem to be enough to satisfy me that they got they hurt me.

If its in caps and lots of sad faces it usually means I'm really upset about the situation but not major depression or anything and I'm wanting someone to validate my feeling, show me caring and compassion therefore I will exaggerate how I feel.

If I write how im feeling in a post in no caps and it seems to be well written then most likely its true what im feeling not exaggerated in any way .

LOL now you know my secret. Well its not a secret just why I do what I do.


I'm really not severely depressed. I am doing well. I am lonely that is true. I deal with persistent depression mild all my life so that's nothing new. I am doing well. I have started a job at home. I am very lonely. I am in grad school. I haven't made any friends. This semester was online because of covid. Next semester I do not know yet if it wil be online or not . I just kind of right now just stay home with my dog, watch tv, sleep, eat, do chores, play games and so on. Not much. No friends and no bf.

Okay Ill look at that book. Yes, I agree we has humans tend to think others may think the way we do but is important to realize everyone is different. It can be hard for me at times to remember that. Sometimes its just unconsciously it happens without realizing it. Yes, my big heart and compassion sometimes comes off too strong.

Okay, I'm gonna stop you there. Mental illness does not discriminate and just because it might not seem like someone doesn't have anything to be 'depressed' about doesn't mean they aren't still struggling. It is not your job to judge people on how they respond to their mental illness.

As a counselor, you are gonna deal with a lot of different people. Some are gonna have a lot of great things going on and they'll still be struggling. You need to reevaluate and figure out how to be more open.

There's a difference between being blunt and stigmatizing mental illness. You're, currently, stigmatizing mental illness and implying that someone else is handling it wrong. That's not your place.

I'm blunt with some of my clients. I have to be but I don't judge them for their choices and the way they are coping. It's not my place to do that. It's my place to support them and help them get linked to all the appropriate services.

You said you won't talk to your clients like this and that implies that you know it's not an appropriate response. Why do you think it's okay to post this here when we have different users with varying degrees of mental illness? Users that could easily be negatively impacted by this just like many of the clients you'll work with.

[Proud90sKid]

Originally Posted by ladoglover

]Of course I wouldn't say that to my clients face. In side me though it would be frustrating to know that I know this person could try harder and they aren't. Also be frustrating when I know it seems there running to the hospital for every little thing which is coming off as they like being mentally ill and like the attention they get at the mental hospital. It seems that way because they really have nothing to be severely depressed about therefore it seems the times they say I have been having suicidal thoughts lately or whatever is really just to get put in the mental hospital again because they like the attention and caring they get from the mental hospital. Yes, they might be having suicidal thoughts but since they really have nothing to be severely depressed about then the thoughts are probably mild I feel and the patient can seriously using coping skills to deal with them and they will just pass instead of making them bigger what they are to get put in a mental hospital.

I am scared to be blunt but sometimes it is needed and being blunt does not mean uncaring if you say it in a caring way.

I just finished a year of grad school.2 years or 2 years and a half to go.


Yes, I usually say I am feeling so horrible to get some caring and compassion. Also, I say it so the people that hurt me on here feel horrible for how they treated me. Also, so people feel badly that I'm banned from chat. I have BPD and so its hard to explain. Even though it seems intentional because I know what I'm doing and manipulative its not. Its not intentional in the way people think of intentional in that I'm being bad, manipulative and so on. I'm not. I'm trying to get my needs met in the only way I know how or feel that I could get my needs met. Also wanting some one to feel bad for hurting me well that's the only way I know how to get that need met of wanting some one to truly know they hurt me because when I say you have hurt me it doesn't seem to be enough to satisfy me that they got they hurt me.

If its in caps and lots of sad faces it usually means I'm really upset about the situation but not major depression or anything and I'm wanting someone to validate my feeling, show me caring and compassion therefore I will exaggerate how I feel.

If I write how im feeling in a post in no caps and it seems to be well written then most likely its true what im feeling not exaggerated in any way .

LOL now you know my secret. Well its not a secret just why I do what I do.


I'm really not severely depressed. I am doing well. I am lonely that is true. I deal with persistent depression mild all my life so that's nothing new. I am doing well. I have started a job at home. I am very lonely. I am in grad school. I haven't made any friends. This semester was online because of covid. Next semester I do not know yet if it wil be online or not . I just kind of right now just stay home with my dog, watch tv, sleep, eat, do chores, play games and so on. Not much. No friends and no bf.

Okay Ill look at that book. Yes, I agree we has humans tend to think others may think the way we do but is important to realize everyone is different. It can be hard for me at times to remember that. Sometimes its just unconsciously it happens without realizing it. Yes, my big heart and compassion sometimes comes off too strong.

You will never even become a therapist if you have that attitude. Your education will be a waste of time and will only be prolonging the situation of not finding gainful employment and living at home with your parents- thus worsening your own mental health. I have no problem being blunt if I feel like it is the truth: you are on a path to crashing and burning with your career/education if you don't become more open minded about issues that involve things you haven't experienced. You will likely not be allowed to finish the program and will run into serious difficulties when you get to the part where you train in a clinical setting. They aren't going to care about your feelings and time devoted, they will care how you communicate with the (often vulnerable) patients. I wanted to point that out because it may be something that nobody in your feels it is their place to tell you. But it is the truth. You don't seem to be close to an expert in mental health the way things are now. I don't feel bad about pointing that out because it is something that you will have to deal with eventually and it is better you address that the easy way rather than wait till others forcibly address it the hard way for you.

I don't think many mentally healthy people think of ways to go to the mental hospital "for attention". Come to think of it, I don't think many mentally ill people get committed just for the attention either.


Also-literally the next thread in this sub is you saying your mental health is "doing horrible". There is a difference between mental health and mood. Mood changes moment to moment. You complain about people not "trying harder" but tbh I don't think you try very hard at all. You just go with your moods constantly and don't take a step back and think about the actual nature of your mental illness.

For progress to be made, only actual progress should be celebrated. Im glad you were in a good mood at the time you wrote this, but you should take the windows as an opportunity to think things from a different perspective. By actual progress, I mean an actual sustained improvement with your mental health rather than a day or moment where your symptoms aren't as bothersome.

I know for me, this insight was necessary for me to stop being an alcoholic. I would celebrate good days where I just didn't feel like drinking as much as signs that my alcoholism had spontaneously improved. But I wasn't thinking about it from a rational perspective. I needed to analyze it and come to the conclusion that I was only going to recover if I constantly thought ahead. This involved telling myself that " although I feel I will be able to resist the cravings and only drink moderate tonight, I won't do it because if I bring drinking back into my life, I know that I will eventually start giving into the cravings to drink uncontrollably." The equivalent for you would be : "I know that I am feeling good and content right now, partly because I am having a good day, but I know that triggers will happen in the future and that my mood will get bad again- how can I handle the bad events and respond to them properly?" . As a small example- you keep getting banned on here and then complaining and coming back and doing the same thing. If you don't care that you are banned, then that's one thing. But you seem very bothered by it each time without analyzing the pattern of behavior that got you into the hurt state of mind to begin with. But then again, I am not sure if this is going to be helpful advice to you, because you have previously seemed to imply that addiction is merely a moral failure.


Im not trying to be rude, just pointing out what is true. You are wanting to go into mental health field but have so little insight into many mental health problems and how people actually work. You seem to know a bit about your own, but only to the extent that you use it as something to complain about.

Your best coping mechanism is "take my benzo, feel loopy, and fall asleep"...often just to deal with an issue in an online chat room. Benzos can be a horrible coping strategy and I am sorry to say that being prescribed doesn't really change the pharmacological effects of these drugs.

[ladoglover]

Thanks for your opinion and suggestions. People can compartmentalize. Its normal. We all act one way in situation and in another situation act a different way. So just because I act one way on here does not necessarily mean its how I may act or respond to someone face to face in real life.

I NEVER said addiction is merely a moral failure. I would never say that. I get mental health very well actually. I can sense when someone is really getting better or really struggling and when the person seems to be just exaggerating symptoms for multiple reasons. The main reason is that they like being mentally ill in that it gets them a lot of attention in that they see a therapist have some one to talk, get sympathy and empathy when they talk about there symptoms and feelings , and going to the mental hospital means more caring and compassion from the staff.

Obviously you do not go to the mental hospital because you say your seeking attention. The person that is just doing it for attention, or compassion, or caring and so on is obviously not going to admit there doing it for those reasons. The person seeking attention knows they can get what they want easily having a therapist because therapists are mandated reporters. That means rather the therapist believes they are suicidal or not does not matter, if the patient said they were suicidal they have to take it serious and put them in a mental hospital.

I do not want to say more on this topic as I feel Ill get in trouble again. I have presented a fake scenario a made up story a role play and I am told I did something wrong some how.

As for benzo. Thats my business and mine alone. I only take as needed and yes I take it when im severely upset which is rare to cope. That is my decision and it is not harmful in any way as its rarely taken and only as needed. I do not need any one telling me or making me feel bad for using it as a coping tool rarely.


I do not want to say more on this topic as I feel Ill get in trouble again. I have presented a fake scenario a made up story a role play and I am told I did something wrong some how. You can close this thread. I do not want to get in trouble.

[Celyn]

Closing thread as requested by the OP. Feel free to PM me if you'd like this thread to be re-opened.