Rape Victim.

[snugglz x]

I am not a rape victim. BUT, my best friend is. She was raped by her boyfriend about 4-5 monthes ago. She liked him, but she did not want to have sex with him, but he pushed her into it. He did not use a condom. She's changed alot as a person, and I worry about her alot. She's turned to drugs and has been going through guys alot. What happens next?

[soul]

I am sorry this happened to your friend and that she is going through a hard time because of it. The best thing for you to do is tell her you care about her and that you are concerned about her behavior. I would recommend that you suggest your friend get professional help to assist her through this. However, unfortunately if she won't help herself there isn't much you can do. Here is an article about how to support rape survivors that you might find helpful: http://pandys.org/forums/index.php?showtopic=49460 If her drug use gets out of hand and you are afraid for her safety the best thing you can do for her is notify her parents. I hope things turn out okay. Good luck with everything. Feel free to PM me anytime you wan to talk.

<3 Mimi

[Minddr]

Your friend should be tested for STD. The reason she's going to drugs is b/c she's hurting so badly & wants to excape it. Whats next? Drinking & being sexually promiscious can be two of them along w/cutting.Has she told her parents a/b the rape? She needs to start on the road to healing & should start by telling her parents & they can take the necessary steps to get her counseling, which is a must. Her parents should also go to the police-which i'm sure that they probably will. If you have anymore questions a/b this, feel free to drop me a PM.

[ForeverAutumn*]

Hi Ashley,

First off I just want to tell you, you're an amazing friend for being concerned about her and wanting to help. Rape is something many people don't know how to react to, which can lead to them shrugging it off or ignoring it - simply because, they don't know what to say or do to help. Taking that step forward and wanting to help her instead of pretending nothing happened, that's really good Ashley, she's lucky to have a friend like you because support is invaluable for her right now. The link Mimi posted is a good one, definitely something to check out. Take a look at this as well, there's a lot of information there you might find helpful.

Do you know if she reported the rape to anyone, such as her parents, a teacher, a school guidance counselor or the police? That would most definitely be the first step if she hasn't already reported it. Let her know you're there for her if she's afraid to report it alone because that may be the case. Reporting it could help her gain closure and help her come to terms with what happened.

Keeping quiet about rape isn't the right thing to do, as it can really cause more harm than good in the long run. Bottling it up inside is going to lead to unhealthy coping mechanisms such as drugs and pushing what happened to the back of your mind can impact the healing process. Addressing what happened with a counselor or a trusted friend, it really helps, that's something else she should consider - counseling.

Whatever happens, don't look at her and just see a rape victim or a statistic. Yes, she was hurt by someone she trusted but she's still just a person, you know? She's still your friend, she's still just a human being who needs help and support right now and needs to know she's not alone, and that everything will be ok. Keep up what you're doing because like I said, she's lucky to have a friend like you. Let me know if you'd ever like to talk about anything and take care of yourself.