Triggering: is it rape if I don't fight back?

[undeserving_princess]

My dad and step mom moved to Germany to work with my uncle's company. I decided to stay with my mom because I don't want to be in another country where I don't understand anything even if I do speak the language fluently I had a hard enough time moving in with my dad and stepmom a year ago. The only problem with this new arrangement is my step dad is really touchy and my mom is never home. She's off doing whatever it is that she does and my step dad doesn't seem to have a problem with that. I learned years ago that if I don't fight with him or try to stop him he won't hurt me as bad. There's no knocking me around or tying me down as long as I tell him I like it during the actual moment. His friends are the same way. When I was younger I used to get beat all the time for fighting back, now, whenever he or his friends want it I don't say or do anything. I just let them. One of my friends told me that it still counts as rape. It's not that I don't trust her oppinion I don't think she understands that I didn't tell them no. My older brother is away at boarding school and normally it would be him I would be asking for advice on this situation but this is something I can't really talk to him about. The only reason my friend knows is because one of my stepdads friends saw us at the mall and tried to kiss me. I was so freaked out I burst into tears and told her the entire thing. I just really need someone to talk to. Does this still can't as rape even though I'm not teling them no?

[ZoeyElaine]

Originally Posted by undeserving_princess

My dad and step mom moved to Germany to work with my uncle's company. I decided to stay with my mom because I don't want to be in another country where I don't understand anything even if I do speak the language fluently I had a hard enough time moving in with my dad and stepmom a year ago. The only problem with this new arrangement is my step dad is really touchy and my mom is never home. She's off doing whatever it is that she does and my step dad doesn't seem to have a problem with that. I learned years ago that if I don't fight with him or try to stop him he won't hurt me as bad. There's no knocking me around or tying me down as long as I tell him I like it during the actual moment. His friends are the same way. When I was younger I used to get beat all the time for fighting back, now, whenever he or his friends want it I don't say or do anything. I just let them. One of my friends told me that it still counts as rape. It's not that I don't trust her oppinion I don't think she understands that I didn't tell them no. My older brother is away at boarding school and normally it would be him I would be asking for advice on this situation but this is something I can't really talk to him about. The only reason my friend knows is because one of my stepdads friends saw us at the mall and tried to kiss me. I was so freaked out I burst into tears and told her the entire thing. I just really need someone to talk to. Does this still can't as rape even though I'm not teling them no?

Honey of course it's still rape. Anything sexual that you don't want is rape. This is something serious, and should be told to someone. I think the best person to tell would be your mom. Seeing as how thats her boyfriend/husband thats doing this to you. When I was younger, my moms boyfriends would do the same exact thing to me all the time. I confronted my mom about it once or twice. But she didn't believe me. Then as I got to about the age of 11, she started to believe me because I had been acting different. And then I began to tell her even more. Maybe its time to open up, and let your mom know whats going on.
No deserves to do through that. You need to tell someone. Soon. This is no joke and it's something that needs to have action taken against it.
If your not ready to tell your mom, then maybe try and become a stronger person and fight him off and try with all your might. Kick, punch, scratch, anything. You need to do something about it.
I hope that this stops for you.
You will be in my prayers(:

[Kumagoro]

Hi there Mickey,

Given your situation, I would say this is rape. He knows you don't want to have sex with him; he's manipulating you by making you think you can't say no because you will get hurt. I know there are many different opinions on this, and although he is not using physical force, you know from experience that fighting back won't help. I'm so sorry to hear you've had this experience; you can PM me any time you need a listening ear.

I know this must be easier said than done, Mickey, but is there anybody you know personally you could talk to? You mentioned one of your friends knowing about it. If all else fails you should tell the police. They should recognise that if you were manipulated, and knew of threats of violence from experience, that your situation is most definitely sexual abuse. Take care; PM me if you need to talk.

[FlyingTrue]

Just because you don't fight back, does not make it consensual, furthermore you shouldn't even be in a situation where you are attacked in this way in the first place, that is NEVER okay under any circumstances, what these people are doing to you is illegal without a doubt. Even if you were to say okay, in many jurisdictions it is still considered statutory rape as you are not of age to give consent. So if you report it, these people WILL be punished for their actions, so I strongly recommend that you do so.

[BrookeTHaddict]

darling its horrible this is happening and yes its rape they would know that obviously you dont want it, no child or teenager would, so they are manipulating you, what about you and your friend tell your friends mum possibly or the school counsellor, someone a favourite teacher you could go by yourself but i believe it would probably be easier if you went with your friend for support, good luck darling pm me