Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.
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I lost my virginity to rape now scared -
March 21st 2011, 07:27 PM
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 on my 15th birthday, my best male friend raped me.... it was at my birthday party and he is always teasing me about it. Now I have a boyfriend and he is trying to get me to have sex with him and im scared to.... any advise????
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Re: I lost my virginity to rape now scared -
March 21st 2011, 07:47 PM
Heyy Andrea.
I'm so sorry to hear this, it's a terrible thing and people are bad for doing it. If your boyfriend loves you, he will respect any decision you make regarding whether or not you are ready to have sex with him. If you explain to him what has happened, maybe it will be easier for him to understand why. However, if you choose not to, he should respect this, and if he doesn't and is forceful with you, it is wrong.
PM me if you need to. I'm sorry for what you've been through.
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Re: I lost my virginity to rape now scared -
March 21st 2011, 09:06 PM
Aww, honey! No one deserves that. Trust me I may be young but I know what Im talking about. Avoid him, if that doesn't works then its police police police!
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Re: I lost my virginity to rape now scared -
March 21st 2011, 09:22 PM
If he is wanting that and you're saying no then get rid of him. He doesn't care about you, only your body. You can find someone who will respect you.
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Re: I lost my virginity to rape now scared -
March 21st 2011, 09:56 PM
Sex is something that has been supressed into something bad. Its not bad, its good, and perfectly healthy.
What happened to you was terrible, and shouldnt happen to anyone. But your boyfriend may be different. However it is your body, and you do with it what you please.
When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive - to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.
GAY PRIDE!!!!!!
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Re: I lost my virginity to rape now scared -
March 22nd 2011, 01:19 AM
the bad thing is it was my boyfriends best friend who raped me... and i worried about what he is gonna do since they both have anger issues
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Re: I lost my virginity to rape now scared -
March 22nd 2011, 04:16 AM
Well, just make it clear to him that you do NOT consent to anything until you are ABSOLUTELY ready. A terrible thing happened to you and he should help you through it, and if he cares about you he won't force anything. Don't rush into sex - it's not worth it, and if he's a decent guy, he'll understand.
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1 user(s) liked this post or found it helpful.
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Re: I lost my virginity to rape now scared -
March 24th 2011, 01:31 AM
thanks everybody.... does anyone have tips on how to tell my boyfriend i was raped?
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Re: I lost my virginity to rape now scared -
March 24th 2011, 02:11 AM
Hmm...as for how to tell your boyfriend about your rape, it can be difficult, especially since it was your boyfriend's best friend. My first question for you is: Did you contact the police after you were raped? Or were you afraid of what would happen?
My second question is: Is your boyfriend pestering you about having sex, like is he continuing to ask you after you've said you're not comfortable?
If that's the case, you need to break up with him. If he can't respect your decision, he's not right for you. Also it may be difficult explaining this to him, but he does need to know. Try and break it to him as gently as possible.
In my opinion, and I'm not trying to be mean, but you really shouldn't have sex at your age anyway. I'm no virgin, and I regret it now. I really wish I could take back what I did, and I feel that way because I'm with another guy now and he wants to stay abstinent. Not only that, but if you have sex with him and break up later you'll regret this. It's a very hard decision to make. You should be 100% sure about this before you do it, and if you decide to have sex, at least be sure to use protection.
I'm very sorry for what happened, nobody should have to go through what you went through. Your nervousness is understandable, and your boyfriend should respect that. I wish you the best of luck.
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Re: I lost my virginity to rape now scared -
March 24th 2011, 02:33 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Koharuchan
Hmm...as for how to tell your boyfriend about your rape, it can be difficult, especially since it was your boyfriend's best friend. My first question for you is: Did you contact the police after you were raped? Or were you afraid of what would happen?
My second question is: Is your boyfriend pestering you about having sex, like is he continuing to ask you after you've said you're not comfortable?
If that's the case, you need to break up with him. If he can't respect your decision, he's not right for you. Also it may be difficult explaining this to him, but he does need to know. Try and break it to him as gently as possible.
In my opinion, and I'm not trying to be mean, but you really shouldn't have sex at your age anyway. I'm no virgin, and I regret it now. I really wish I could take back what I did, and I feel that way because I'm with another guy now and he wants to stay abstinent. Not only that, but if you have sex with him and break up later you'll regret this. It's a very hard decision to make. You should be 100% sure about this before you do it, and if you decide to have sex, at least be sure to use protection.
I'm very sorry for what happened, nobody should have to go through what you went through. Your nervousness is understandable, and your boyfriend should respect that. I wish you the best of luck.
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no i didnt tell police, and no my boyfriend isnt pestering me he just asks if i will sleep with him one day
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Re: I lost my virginity to rape now scared -
March 25th 2011, 05:41 AM
I think firstly, you should tell your parents what happened. The perpetrator needs to be locked up so he would no longer be a threat to others.
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Re: I lost my virginity to rape now scared -
March 25th 2011, 07:11 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by FlyingTrue
I think firstly, you should tell your parents what happened. The perpetrator needs to be locked up so he would no longer be a threat to others.
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I found out that the guy who did it committed suicide 2 nights ago and i told my boyfriend and parents last night
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Re: I lost my virginity to rape now scared -
March 26th 2011, 06:02 AM
are you okay? this all seems tough to deal with..
how did your parents take it?
OVERALL are you ok?
Blah 
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Re: I lost my virginity to rape now scared -
March 26th 2011, 05:49 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by notabell
are you okay? this all seems tough to deal with..
how did your parents take it?
OVERALL are you ok?
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Im find still a lil shook up , they were abolutly shocked and at awe, But im fine im healing mentally and physically
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Re: I lost my virginity to rape now scared -
March 27th 2011, 02:31 AM
i'm glad to hear your healing, let me know if you need anything.. ok?
Blah
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Re: I lost my virginity to rape now scared -
March 27th 2011, 03:21 AM
I will... thanks for everything
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Re: I lost my virginity to rape now scared -
March 27th 2011, 10:14 PM
no problem :]
Blah
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Re: I lost my virginity to rape now scared -
March 28th 2011, 07:08 PM
 yea anyway if anybody wants to talk PM me
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