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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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Flashbacks of Rape (help) - March 4th 2011, 01:48 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Hello,

Been having a lot of issues with flashbacks right now and could really use some advice. I'm/was diagnosed with PTSD and I have been raped twice in my life. I would like some help for the flashbacks and maybe some advice for my friends so they know what to do when I go into a flashback.

When I start to go into a flashback, I feel like I am getting raped again, can feel his breath on my face, his hands, and like I'm being held down again, all the physical and mental aspects of how I felt when I was getting raped come back.

Among many things, my body kind of spasms, and having hard time breathing, and for some reason can't keep my eyes open, and I keep shaking, and after words I feel very weak and dizzy.


I really need advice. New to this whole getting help thing.

Thanks,

Sarah
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Re: Flashbacks of Rape (help) - March 4th 2011, 03:42 AM

Hey,

I used to get really bad flashbacks like the sort you are describing. I never really did find any particularly good ways of coping with them. I guess one thing would be to try & focus on your surroundings. For example I used to find stroking my soft teddy, feeling my soft dressing gown, feeling pretty much anything in the room would help slightly. I'm not going to lie, it is very hard dealing with this and difficult to bring yourself back. For your friends maybe they could just keep talking to you in a soothing voice, about anything at all. Chances are you won't hear them much anyway so they could talk about total nonsense. Perhaps they could talk to you about good times you've had. Not sure I'm much help with the friends thing as it only ever happened to me once in front of a friend and no matter what he did it always just seemed to make me worse so in the end he just left me alone until I calmed down. Maybe a hug? Although for me this would have been too much and made me tense up even more.

Basically, senses were the one thing that helped me through them. Pay attention to details to remind yourself where you are and that you're not back in that place. Focus on individual scents in the room, specific colours, shapes, just really anything that remind you of the present. Count things, for example all things that are blue in your room.

For the breathing, my counsellor tried teaching me a few relaxation techniques, although it can be quite hard remembering to do them at the time. She said to breath in fully through the nose until your lungs were fully inflated, then slowly, very slowly, breath out through your mouth. It will make you feel a little light headed as your brain isn't used to that much oxygen but it does help to relax you a little bit and hopefully help your breathing get back to normal.

Can't really think of anything else, sorry if I've not been any help and I'm really sorry to hear you're struggling with this at the moment. gentle if okay

Last edited by tamz; March 4th 2011 at 03:45 AM. Reason: adding stuff
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Re: Flashbacks of Rape (help) - March 4th 2011, 06:06 AM

do you know what triggers them? At first I found it helpful to not go into the room where it happened, but then when friends came over, movie nights were a problem. what really helped the flashbacks for me to go away though, was changing the place in my house where it happened, hanging up posters, getting a different couch, getting a rug to cover up the color of the carpet, moving furniture around in the room or switching it to a new room so it looks like a completely different place. I no longer see it as the place of my rape, but as a family room.

the only time I think about it now is when I intentionally get myself to, and I don't do it very often, but when I do, it is a very frightening feeling.

of course, at first, since I was so young when it happened (8 years old), it was easier for me to block it out.
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