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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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was it rape? - December 13th 2010, 07:44 PM
This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

may be graphic

This has been going over and over in my mind for a long time and i still don't know what happened. it was my fault cos he said i confused him. i'll tell you what happened and tell me what you think it is cos i feel aweful.

i met this guy and we were friends. i had been haiving boufriend problems so we offered a shoulder to cry on. a person i could talk to. we ended up kissing and i didn't object when he put his handsup my skirt. later we went for a walk in the woods. stupid idea but we were friends after all. well we started kissing again and he started saying " common lets do it" and i said no i can't, i am still with my boyfrind. and he persisted but i stayed firm said no even though i was kissing him. he grabbed me by the hips and turned me around and pulled up my skirt. and i just let him. he said i'll only put in it once and i thought he would stop but he didn't. so i bent down instead and suck him off. i felt i hadto do somethign to get him out of me.
but i didn't run away, i didn't scream i just stayed there in shame.i wasn't sure what to do. when i got home later that day he text me saying sorry but i kinda raped you. andthen next he said butit was your fault you confused me. andhe was begging me not to tell my boyfriend since it was my fault too.
i dunno what to make of it
i don't thjnk it's classed as rape cos it's a strong word but i told some one i knew but said it as this happenedto my friend. and they said it was.


what do you think
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: was it rape? - December 13th 2010, 09:44 PM
i say this is rape..yu need to tell someone hun...its rape..PM me if yu need nethng

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Re: was it rape? - December 13th 2010, 09:53 PM
It may be classed as rape, but by the sounds of it you didn't make it clear to him that you didn't want to, and because of this I highly doubt you'd be able to do anything about it legally.
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Re: was it rape? - December 13th 2010, 09:57 PM
hun..yu said no..and no means no...he should have stopped as soon as you said no

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Re: was it rape? - December 14th 2010, 12:30 AM
You said no once, that was enough. He did it without your consent,

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Re: was it rape? - December 14th 2010, 12:41 AM
Yes that is considered rape, I suggest filing a police report.
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Re: was it rape? - December 14th 2010, 01:29 AM
Anytime you say no, that means you aren't given consent. So, yes, that would be classified as rape.
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Re: was it rape? - December 14th 2010, 12:47 PM
i wasn't planning on reporting it or anything cos that would cause so much conflict betweek everyone i know. i just needed to set it out clear in my mind. cos i thought the word rape was too strong for this kind of situation. thank you for replying
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Re: was it rape? - December 14th 2010, 05:53 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by lyinginside View Post
i wasn't planning on reporting it or anything cos that would cause so much conflict betweek everyone i know. i just needed to set it out clear in my mind. cos i thought the word rape was too strong for this kind of situation. thank you for replying
I hope you are basing that decision on your own feelings, not worrying about how it will affect other people. I'm only saying this because I didn't report it initially, partly for the same reason and it was something I regretted.
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Re: was it rape? - December 15th 2010, 03:27 AM
You should not have to worry about creating conflict amongst others, right now you are going through your own conflict and turmoil and dealing that is what is important. Rape is not too strong of a word, that absolutely fits the description of what happened. Do not hold that against yourself, you did nothing wrong and you really need to report it.
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Re: was it rape? - December 15th 2010, 04:59 AM
Ya that was rape plain and simple. Kinda odd, but at least you stopped him from potentially knocking you up, that was clever thinking.
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Re: was it rape? - December 24th 2010, 01:55 AM
It was rape.. The fact that you told him no, means that it was not consensual. You should tell someone hun... You may not want to because of the "problems" it can potentially cause; but this could have long term affects that aren't fair to deal with, and it's better to get help now. And he shouldn't get away with what he did to you. No means no. It doesn't matter if you may have been kissing and flirting prior; you told him you didn't want to, and he didn't respect that. Your lack of fighting during it has nothing to do with it; he's still completely at fault.
If you really don't want to tell anyone about it, just make sure you don't bottle it up, okay? PM me if you ever need to talk =)

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  (#13 (permalink)) Old
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Re: was it rape? - December 25th 2010, 02:39 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by 3.14159265358979323846264 View Post
It may be classed as rape, but by the sounds of it you didn't make it clear to him that you didn't want to, and because of this I highly doubt you'd be able to do anything about it legally.
/Agree

You didnt clearly say no, you sorta gave in and that was his signal that it was ok. Plus you went further and performed more sex acts on him. The choice is yours on what to do but I dont really think its rape.
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Re: was it rape? - December 25th 2010, 09:27 PM
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Originally Posted by Sythan View Post
/Agree

You didnt clearly say no, you sorta gave in and that was his signal that it was ok. Plus you went further and performed more sex acts on him. The choice is yours on what to do but I dont really think its rape.
I don't think I agree with you, she did say no more than once and said that she was still with her boyfriend, and when you are confused and scared you want to do the best thing to get out of the situation, she said that she felt she had to do something to get him out of her, to me it seems that she just wanted it to end and thought that giving in would make that happen. When its someone known or a friend it makes it harder to resist, because of the confusion of why they are doing this. And surely the 'No' should be a signal to stop and not carry on still until she gave in?

Even if it doesn't legally class as rape, it was still unwanted and was pressured onto her so in my opinion it was.
  (#15 (permalink)) Old
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Re: was it rape? - December 27th 2010, 07:40 PM
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I don't think I agree with you, she did say no more than once and said that she was still with her boyfriend, and when you are confused and scared you want to do the best thing to get out of the situation, she said that she felt she had to do something to get him out of her, to me it seems that she just wanted it to end and thought that giving in would make that happen. When its someone known or a friend it makes it harder to resist, because of the confusion of why they are doing this. And surely the 'No' should be a signal to stop and not carry on still until she gave in?

Even if it doesn't legally class as rape, it was still unwanted and was pressured onto her so in my opinion it was.
If she did say no then it can be classed as Rape. I would call the Police and report this regardless.
  (#16 (permalink)) Old
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Re: was it rape? - December 27th 2010, 09:32 PM
This person did rape you and you should contact the police about it. He even stated "I kinda raped you' but it WAS NOT your fault, and it was him. So what if he was confused? That means he should have stopped. Even if you didn't say 'no', you clearly didn't want to. Contact someone or the authorities.

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Re: was it rape? - December 31st 2010, 11:42 PM
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Originally Posted by CrimsonTippedPetals View Post
This person did rape you and you should contact the police about it. He even stated "I kinda raped you' but it WAS NOT your fault, and it was him. So what if he was confused? That means he should have stopped. Even if you didn't say 'no', you clearly didn't want to. Contact someone or the authorities.
Agreed. You didn't give him 100% consent. So I'd consider that sexual abuse.. I don't understand why anybody was say that it wasn't. You can't justify something like that.

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Re: was it rape? - January 4th 2011, 08:09 AM
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Originally Posted by Sythan View Post
/Agree

You didnt clearly say no, you sorta gave in and that was his signal that it was ok. Plus you went further and performed more sex acts on him. The choice is yours on what to do but I dont really think its rape.
She did clearly say No, more then once, plus including being in the relationship with her boyfriend. When scared and backed into a corner you would agree to a 'lesser' assault instead of full sexual intercourse.

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A person does not consent to sexual activity if he or she allows the activity because of— (a) force applied to him or her or some other person; or(b) the threat (express or implied) of the application of force to him or her or some other person; or(c) the fear of the application of force to him or her or some other person.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laws_regarding_rape

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Re: was it rape? - January 13th 2011, 06:42 PM
You said no. Therefore, it was rape. About filing the police report, it'll make you life HELL! I had to file a police report for my sexual abuse last month, I understand why most people don't report it. I'm telling you that you shouldn't, but it'll be hell if you do.

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Re: was it rape? - January 21st 2011, 09:23 AM
It was rape. You said NO. Clever the way you diverted him from penertration though. Good thinking. Still rape.
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