TeenHelp - Triggering (Abuse): my parents

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- - Triggering (Abuse): my parents (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f13-rape-abuse/t165563-my-parents/)

TW//: Drug abuse, Alcohol, physical abuse, mental abuse, mentions of sexual abuse/assault

My parents are alcoholics and drug abusers and have been since I could remember. I remember getting glass in my feet and my father drunkenly removing it(they trashed our house and left beer bottles everywhere). My mother is worse than my father though. She used to hit my grandma and me and then claim she never did it. This all got to a point where I had to lie to the cops and the hospital. At the age of 9 I was almost killed by my mother and reported it. 10 DCF cases and 3 years later, nothing happened. My mother isn't my "mother" on my files, but she still has custody over me. My father has no reports against him, but at least he stopped hitting me. He broke his hand by punching a cabinet after throwing me onto the bed and trying to "spank me". Whenever I get a really healthy friend for me, they always try and push me away. My parents also mentally degraded me a lot. They always shame me for things I can't control (or things I can). I was told to "Shut the fuck up" so many times by my parents when I wasn't even talking to them because they were trying to "focus" and I was "too loud" even if I wasn't talking. I don't know what to do. I have C-PTSD because of some other situations, so I don't even wanna know how bad it ACTUALLY is on the diagnostic scale if I told the truth about my abuse. I was sexually abused and assaulted before the age of 11, by several people, so I was just...more mature than I needed to be growing up I guess. Now I'm caring for my baby brother with my grandmother, my parents not really caring. My ex-best friends dad wanted to adopt me at one point, my moms mom wanted to adopt me/kidnap me so I was "safe". I guess I can't say I'm not safe, because I used to be a lot less safe. My parents get mad when I cry(typically cause of gender dysphoria) because they think I should be their perfect little girl.

What should I do about this? Should I tell my outpatient program more about this, or should I stay quiet still?

It does sound like you aren't safe right now. I honestly would tell your outpatient program more about this. They will likely have to report it though, as a heads up, because you are a minor talking about being abused by your guardians. You can explain it just like you did here. If you don't feel comfortable saying it out loud to a group you can ask to speak with your clinician in private ort even show them a copy of what you posted here. I'd also document any evidence you have such as any marks they leave or write down what they are saying to you, when, and what was happening. I'm so sorry this is happening to you.

I told my outpatient and they said they didn't have to report it YET, but if anything more happens, they will.

It's good that you told them either way! They can help guide you in the right direction and give you new ways to cope with what's going on.

Hello, I am sorry about everything that you are going through and I hope that you will be okay soon. You should try talking to your school counselor or a teacher at school when you go back. They can help you out with this so that you will be okay and this doesn't happen anymore. If you can't say it, then write them a letter.

Hey, my dad is a functional alcoholic (this means he can do stuff during the day such as household chores etc), I know its hard to tell people who you know what's gone on/is going on because it feels like you shouldn't tell anyone, but I really think you should tell someone what's been going on, because if they don't know they can't help. Staying quiet is not going to help the situation, I can't tell you exactly what will happen when you tell your outpatient program or an adult you trust because each situation has different outcomes etc, but that being said who ever you tell - whether thats your outpatient program or an adult you trust they will want to help.
It's really important you tell people what's going on, as support can then be put in place, and it really sounds like you could do with some help and support.
And you are not doing anything wrong by telling someone, in fact telling someone is probably the right thing to do as you can then maybe also get support for your siblings etc too.

Hi,
I did tell my outpatient program, and my therapist helped walk me through some ways to keep situations from turning to cops being here or me at the psych ward(ex. when I get yelled at, don't raise my voice back or if my dad insults me just say "not helpful"). She did say if things got to be worse CPS would have to be involved [again] since my brother and I are minors.

Ah okay, if the situation is still the same it might be worth telling your outpatient program again, I've had social services involved before and while I know its not nice to have them involved as such they are the people who can help get support put in place for you and your brother.

Dude with my family we've had DCF so many times when they come they've just said "I don't know why you guys keep getting called on, you're a good family, I'm going to clear the case"

Quote:

Originally Posted by TherianLOVER (Post 1397491)

Dude with my family we've had DCF so many times when they come they've just said "I don't know why you guys keep getting called on, you're a good family, I'm going to clear the case"

Are you telling social services/DCF everything? Because if you aren't telling them everything they aren't going to know the whole situation..

I couldn't 'cause my parents were around, but I told my clinician at the hospital & she did shit.

Hi there, could you try talking to the teacher you've been confiding in at school or another trusted adult. Nobody should have to endure abuse like this, and you deserve so much better. You deserve respect, to feel safe at home, to be comforted by those who are raising you, and you deserve support for yourself. I would suggest collecting evidence of their abuse so you can present it to someone, show that you have solid proof of your parents' abuse.