Triggering (Abuse): my parents

[TherianLOVER]

TW//: Drug abuse, Alcohol, physical abuse, mental abuse, mentions of sexual abuse/assault

My parents are alcoholics and drug abusers and have been since I could remember. I remember getting glass in my feet and my father drunkenly removing it(they trashed our house and left beer bottles everywhere). My mother is worse than my father though. She used to hit my grandma and me and then claim she never did it. This all got to a point where I had to lie to the cops and the hospital. At the age of 9 I was almost killed by my mother and reported it. 10 DCF cases and 3 years later, nothing happened. My mother isn't my "mother" on my files, but she still has custody over me. My father has no reports against him, but at least he stopped hitting me. He broke his hand by punching a cabinet after throwing me onto the bed and trying to "spank me". Whenever I get a really healthy friend for me, they always try and push me away. My parents also mentally degraded me a lot. They always shame me for things I can't control (or things I can). I was told to "Shut the fuck up" so many times by my parents when I wasn't even talking to them because they were trying to "focus" and I was "too loud" even if I wasn't talking. I don't know what to do. I have C-PTSD because of some other situations, so I don't even wanna know how bad it ACTUALLY is on the diagnostic scale if I told the truth about my abuse. I was sexually abused and assaulted before the age of 11, by several people, so I was just...more mature than I needed to be growing up I guess. Now I'm caring for my baby brother with my grandmother, my parents not really caring. My ex-best friends dad wanted to adopt me at one point, my moms mom wanted to adopt me/kidnap me so I was "safe". I guess I can't say I'm not safe, because I used to be a lot less safe. My parents get mad when I cry(typically cause of gender dysphoria) because they think I should be their perfect little girl.

What should I do about this? Should I tell my outpatient program more about this, or should I stay quiet still?

[¯|_(ツ)_|¯]

It does sound like you aren't safe right now. I honestly would tell your outpatient program more about this. They will likely have to report it though, as a heads up, because you are a minor talking about being abused by your guardians. You can explain it just like you did here. If you don't feel comfortable saying it out loud to a group you can ask to speak with your clinician in private ort even show them a copy of what you posted here. I'd also document any evidence you have such as any marks they leave or write down what they are saying to you, when, and what was happening. I'm so sorry this is happening to you.

[TherianLOVER]

I told my outpatient and they said they didn't have to report it YET, but if anything more happens, they will.

[¯|_(ツ)_|¯]

It's good that you told them either way! They can help guide you in the right direction and give you new ways to cope with what's going on.