Coming to terms with what happened

[Moon]

So, I started seeing a Therapist in early December and she asked if I'd experienced various traumas, one of them being sexual assault.
I've spent most of my life running from the memory of what happened, because I didn't want to accept that I had been raped. I tried to block out that memory and just kept running from it but in that moment, I couldn't for some reason.

My question, the thing I need help with - How do you come to terms with being raped after it's been nearly 20 years? I still wrestle with it and trying to accept what happened, happened, and it won't help me to run from it. I just... Don't know how to because any time I think about it, I get insane impostor syndrome.

[Arabesque- golfing girl.]

Hello Moon,

I am so sorry that this has happened to you. When something horrible happens in our lives like this or something else, we can accept what happened or act like everything is totally fine and really we are not okay with what has happened or this can hurt us so much that we feel this feeling is never going to go away. Everything that you are feeling is okay and never let anyone tell you that you have to think and feel differently. If you would like to try writing down what has happened to you on paper and then you can try writing out how you truly feel about this and then when you are done you can keep this or you can rip it up and throw it away. Or if you would like to, you can try saying out loud when no one is around how you feel about this and if you start to cry when writing or saying this out loud, don't come down on yourself. Then after you do this, try to find something to help you to get your mind off of this for a while. Reading a book or drawing or painting or listening to music or watching movies or TV shows or playing a game or going for a walk around your house or something else that you enjoy doing. I hope you will be okay soon.

Hi Moon, thanks for reaching out! I'm sorry you experienced trauma at such a young age; and there's never an expiration date on having it! I would be honest with your therapist, let them know when it happened, and that you still struggle with it. They will not judge you for still feeling the way you do after two years and if they do, then they're not a good therapist.

Also, have you considered support groups for rape survivors? I would look into that and maybe someone else on here can provide the resources for you to utilize. It's so unfair that you've had to keep this to yourself for so long, and it's long past due for you receive the appropriate support for your traumas.

Wishing you the best of luck today at your appointment. Feel free to reach out again if you ever need to.

[Moon]

Originally Posted by Ethereal.

Hi Moon, thanks for reaching out! I'm sorry you experienced trauma at such a young age; and there's never an expiration date on having it! I would be honest with your therapist, let them know when it happened, and that you still struggle with it. They will not judge you for still feeling the way you do after two years and if they do, then they're not a good therapist.

Also, have you considered support groups for rape survivors? I would look into that and maybe someone else on here can provide the resources for you to utilize. It's so unfair that you've had to keep this to yourself for so long, and it's long past due for you receive the appropriate support for your traumas.

Wishing you the best of luck today at your appointment. Feel free to reach out again if you ever need to.

I still get overwhelming impostor syndrome about it. Which, is one reason I've always sort of kept it close to the chest. The idea of going to a group just.. Already seems overwhelming, and I'd feel so.. Wrong if I went. I already feel like some people had it happen worse, which makes me feel like I should just be quiet about it all.

[Arabesque- golfing girl.]

I'm sorry for what happened to you. Would you be able to try finding one person to let in and talk about this and how this has made you feel? It can be very hard to let others in when we are going through something or something has happened to us and we don't know how to open up to them. Maybe try writing someone a letter and you can put everything in it that you would like to talk about and try talking with them after they read this. I hope you will be okay soon.

[Moon]

Originally Posted by Golfing girl

I'm sorry for what happened to you. Would you be able to try finding one person to let in and talk about this and how this has made you feel? It can be very hard to let others in when we are going through something or something has happened to us and we don't know how to open up to them. Maybe try writing someone a letter and you can put everything in it that you would like to talk about and try talking with them after they read this. I hope you will be okay soon.

I've tried talking about it, but I feel like the second I do, I just mentally check out. Like it feels like I'm watching it happen. I may try to talk about it with my therapist.

[Arabesque- golfing girl.]

I understand that it can be hard to open up and talk about what you have been through. Try going onto this website when you have time, it is, https://www.rainn.org They have a chat and you can call them if you would like to try talking with someone about what has happened to you. I hope that you will be okay soon.