I need help, trigger warning.

[gesty4333]

Hello, i'm a muslim girl living in a muslim family. I recently turned 15 and my mother started talking to me about "circumcision" she said its an operation to cut the clitoris off and lower my sex drive so i dont get pregnant or masturbate. She said i will be going to holiday to my grandma in egypt. Im scared and i dont want this done to me. Please give me some advice and what to do. Should i just let them? should i run away, please help.me.

[Rivière]

I have to admit, I don't know much of female circumcision, other than by Western standards it is considered genital mutilation and is practiced in certain areas of the world such as Africa. There are many different stages of such circumcision. However, I won't go into details, given the site's rules. Mutilation of the clitoris won't protect you from getting pregnant. I can only assume she told you this to scare you or some other obscene way of trying to persuade you to undergo such a horrific procedure.

While I want to be respectful of your religious views, and that of your family, I simply cannot agree with mutilation of the human body in the way your mother has planned for you. It's your body. You and only you should be the deciding factor in whether or not you should have anything removed from your body.

As you have access to the internet, I would strongly suggest doing research on what such a procedure actually entails, as well as the many dangers you face in having it. There are no health benefits in having this procedure, only an inordinate amount of risks such as pain, infections, and much worse. Again, I strongly urge you to research into this practice beforehand.

In addition to this, I would consider discussing the issue with your mother. Again, while I want to be respectful of religious practices, surely she must recognise and understand this is only going to cause you more harm than good. Such a procedure has been scientifically shown to do so by the World Health Organisation.

In terms of running away, I can't comment on this. I understand the situation you're in and the last thing I'd want is for you to be physically harmed by your mother's misunderstood beliefs on female 'circumcision'. You're also only 15 years old and you must ask yourself, where would you go? How would you get there? What exactly would you achieve by running away? You must be sensible about this. I understand why you'd want to run away. This is a really big deal and not something that should be treated lightly. Once you undergo this procedure, there is no going back. It's permanent. You won't get back what she's forcing you to have removed. I can't make the decision for you. Only you can decide what you want in this regard. But make sure you've fully researched everything before you make any kind of decision.

[Astro04]

For a female is a big loss. I understand if a boy needs a circumcision, but a female? You're not an animal, even there's a religious meaning. That's what your parents need to know.

[gesty4333]

Originally Posted by Rivière

I have to admit, I don't know much of female circumcision, other than by Western standards it is considered genital mutilation and is practiced in certain areas of the world such as Africa. There are many different stages of such circumcision. However, I won't go into details, given the site's rules. Mutilation of the clitoris won't protect you from getting pregnant. I can only assume she told you this to scare you or some other obscene way of trying to persuade you to undergo such a horrific procedure.

While I want to be respectful of your religious views, and that of your family, I simply cannot agree with mutilation of the human body in the way your mother has planned for you. It's your body. You and only you should be the deciding factor in whether or not you should have anything removed from your body.

As you have access to the internet, I would strongly suggest doing research on what such a procedure actually entails, as well as the many dangers you face in having it. There are no health benefits in having this procedure, only an inordinate amount of risks such as pain, infections, and much worse. Again, I strongly urge you to research into this practice beforehand.

In addition to this, I would consider discussing the issue with your mother. Again, while I want to be respectful of religious practices, surely she must recognise and understand this is only going to cause you more harm than good. Such a procedure has been scientifically shown to do so by the World Health Organisation.

In terms of running away, I can't comment on this. I understand the situation you're in and the last thing I'd want is for you to be physically harmed by your mother's misunderstood beliefs on female 'circumcision'. You're also only 15 years old and you must ask yourself, where would you go? How would you get there? What exactly would you achieve by running away? You must be sensible about this. I understand why you'd want to run away. This is a really big deal and not something that should be treated lightly. Once you undergo this procedure, there is no going back. It's permanent. You won't get back what she's forcing you to have removed. I can't make the decision for you. Only you can decide what you want in this regard. But make sure you've fully researched everything before you make any kind of decision.

She doesn't want to discuss at all, she said she doesn't care. I'm going there in a week. I think my only option is running away, I don't know how to tell anyone, im scared. I don't know where i will go if i run away but anything is better than having this done to me. I want to be able to.. have it intact.. i want to have a sexual life. She got mad at me when i said i don't want it

[Arabesque- golfing girl.]

Hello and welcome to Teenhelp! It is wonderful that you have joined us and I am sorry that you are having a hard time with this right now and hope that you will be okay soon. Do you have any other family members that you can go and stay with? Are you able to talk to your friends about this? If you are in school, see if you can try talking to a teacher or someone at the school about this and maybe they can help you out with this. Maybe they can also help you to talk with your mother about this as well. Sometimes it is hard talking to our parents about something, try writing a letter to her and put everything in it that you are feeling and put it somewhere that she can see it. Ask in the letter if you and her can try talking about this together. If you are talking to her about this try talking calmly if you can, because then you will be able to say why you feel like this. I hope that you will be okay soon and everything works out for you.

[gesty4333]

Originally Posted by Golfing girl

Hello and welcome to Teenhelp! It is wonderful that you have joined us and I am sorry that you are having a hard time with this right now and hope that you will be okay soon. Do you have any other family members that you can go and stay with? Are you able to talk to your friends about this? If you are in school, see if you can try talking to a teacher or someone at the school about this and maybe they can help you out with this. Maybe they can also help you to talk with your mother about this as well. Sometimes it is hard talking to our parents about something, try writing a letter to her and put everything in it that you are feeling and put it somewhere that she can see it. Ask in the letter if you and her can try talking about this together. If you are talking to her about this try talking calmly if you can, because then you will be able to say why you feel like this. I hope that you will be okay soon and everything works out for you.

I only have a week left. My mother doesnt want to hear anything i say, she wont listen to me or change her mind. I dont want this done to me.. But i don't want to be an orphan without a family either.. i don't know where to go, im too scared to talk about things like this with anyone. Should i just accept it and let it be done?.

[Arabesque- golfing girl.]

If you can, try writing a letter and put it somewhere that she can see it and read it. Hope you will be okay.

[gesty4333]

Originally Posted by Golfing girl

If you can, try writing a letter and put it somewhere that she can see it and read it. Hope you will be okay.

my mother just doesn't care what i have to say.. She insists. I'm scared.

[gesty4333]

Originally Posted by Golfing girl

If you can, try writing a letter and put it somewhere that she can see it and read it. Hope you will be okay.

Just two days left. I can't.. please do something save me i have no idea what to do

[Arabesque- golfing girl.]

Hi, can you try talking to a friend's parent and maybe they can help you out with this. Hope you will be okay soon.

[gesty4333]

Originally Posted by Golfing girl

Hi, can you try talking to a friend's parent and maybe they can help you out with this. Hope you will be okay soon.

I dont want to lose my family. Is this my fault? maybe its not a big deal and im overreacting. I dont know what to do because im too scared to talk to anyone about my genitals. And that i will be taken away from my parents and have no home.

[gesty4333]

Originally Posted by gesty4333

I dont want to lose my family. Is this my fault? maybe its not a big deal and im overreacting. I dont know what to do because im too scared to talk to anyone about my genitals. And that i will be taken away from my parents and have no home.

And today i'm going to my grandma.

[Arabesque- golfing girl.]

I'm so sorry about this and hope that you will be okay soon.

[WhisperingSilence]

Hey, Is there a way when you arrive at the airport or are on the plan and attract the attention of the air stewards etc and explain the situation to them so they can alert the authorities etc so that you can get the help you need? or once you are in Egypt could you maybe find a way to alert the authorities etc? Theres lots of advice online about FGM.

[gesty4333]

Originally Posted by WhisperingSilence

Hey, Is there a way when you arrive at the airport or are on the plan and attract the attention of the air stewards etc and explain the situation to them so they can alert the authorities etc so that you can get the help you need? or once you are in Egypt could you maybe find a way to alert the authorities etc? Theres lots of advice online about FGM.

I wish i had ran away, i'm getting it today and i dont know if i can escape now.

[WhisperingSilence]

is there someone you can contact like the police or someone ?

[gesty4333]

Originally Posted by WhisperingSilence

is there someone you can contact like the police or someone ?

it's too late, they already did it to me
thanks for the help and i'm sorry, i was too scared to do anything

[gesty4333]

Originally Posted by gesty4333

it's too late, they already did it to me
thanks for the help and i'm sorry, i was too scared to do anything

so.. ive been circumcised.

[Arabesque- golfing girl.]

I'm so sorry about this and hope that you will be okay soon. Sending you lots of

[gesty4333]

Originally Posted by Golfing girl

I'm so sorry about this and hope that you will be okay soon. Sending you lots of

I want to leave my religion. this happened because of it. I want to leave my family. I said i would get it done just to not lose it but i hate them. how could they do this to me, it hurt like hell and still does and i hate it. I cant believe its gonna be like this for the rest of my life. thanks for the hugs, i really need it

[WhisperingSilence]

Hi, sorry to hear that, you can still get help, is there anyone you can speak to like a teacher or a school counsellor or something like that? or could you go to a Dr or the hospital and get checked over? Sorry I didn't reply sooner I haven't been able to get online alot over the past week.

[gesty4333]

Originally Posted by WhisperingSilence

Hi, sorry to hear that, you can still get help, is there anyone you can speak to like a teacher or a school counsellor or something like that? or could you go to a Dr or the hospital and get checked over? Sorry I didn't reply sooner I haven't been able to get online alot over the past week.

its so unfair. i haven't been able to masturbate at all. it hurts badly

[WhisperingSilence]

You need to see a Dr or a GP , its important to make sure that is healing properly, your right it is unfair, but if you see a dr or gp or go to a sexual health clinic/center they will be able to help you and put you in contact with organisations etc that can help you as well.

[gesty4333]

Originally Posted by WhisperingSilence

You need to see a Dr or a GP , its important to make sure that is healing properly, your right it is unfair, but if you see a dr or gp or go to a sexual health clinic/center they will be able to help you and put you in contact with organisations etc that can help you as well.

i havent masturbated in a month.

[Mallika]

Hello there,

I'm sorry for being so late to the conversation.

Firstly, I want to send you all my love and support. I'm so, so sorry that this has happened to you. I personally do not know anyone who has opened up as honestly as you have about circumcision, but I have heard a lot about this practice. It happens a lot in my part of the world (South and Southeast Asia) among the Muslim community. I have so many Muslim friends but no one has uttered a word about it. From what I understand, it is a very rampant yet hushed practice, which explains why you had to suffer alone.

Please be assured that support exists. As others on this forum have mentioned, there are support groups for people like you. I'm attaching a few links here:
https://www.yourwholebaby.org/for-the-circumcised
https://sahiyo.com/support-resources/ (this has country-specific resources)
https://www.humanrightscareers.com/i...al-mutilation/ (here is a list of such organisations)

Circumcision without consent, as in your case, can have a physically and emotionally scarring effect. Please don't hesitate to reach out for help - it is available and it can do wonders for you. It's so important that you reached out to us. I understand that you would be overwhelmed by so many emotions right now. It's best if you:

1) Meet a GP to check that your vulva region is healing properly. I really assert this point because from what I know, female circumcision is not always done in a safe or hygienic way. I don't know the kind of place you were at when it happened to you, but I would be very concerned about the healing of such a tender region of the body.

2) Meet a counsellor. You're 15 so I assume you're in school. Your school will probably have a guidance counsellor whom you can talk to about this. If not a guidance counsellor, perhaps meet a teacher. These are complex emotions you're going through - you want to be able to cope with them in the best way possible now so that you can look forward to better days.

Also, I thought of sharing a short documentary I watched on FGM in Singapore where I live. It shocked me, because I have lived in Singapore for close to 20 years and I had no clue it was so rampant. One of the featured ladies has a story similar to yours. However, I will add a trigger warning here as the documentary is about a topic that is still so raw in your mind. But if you feel it might give you a sense of solidarity to see that you're not alone, you can go ahead and watch it. Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FGLPtcXv8aE

While you might not be able to change what has already happened, you can be a voice for the future. Stay strong

Don't hesitate to PM me if you have any questions!

[gesty4333]

I miss masturbation too much..

It seems like your biggest concern is masturbation and not the fact your genitals were mutilated. Getting to the second part, have you spoken to anyone about the trauma you went through? Have you sought out medical care to check for and prevent infection? I suggest looking into support services so you can healthily cope with this. As for masturbation, there are other things to worry about, including your trauma and I think it's important to educate other young women about it.

What you went through is pretty serious and it affects so many Muslim girls that have to conform to outdated traditions in the Islamist faith. Join in on the many young women that have experienced and will experience this trauma, speak out!

[gesty4333]

Originally Posted by Stardust.

It seems like your biggest concern is masturbation and not the fact your genitals were mutilated. Getting to the second part, have you spoken to anyone about the trauma you went through? Have you sought out medical care to check for and prevent infection? I suggest looking into support services so you can healthily cope with this. As for masturbation, there are other things to worry about, including your trauma and I think it's important to educate other young women about it.

What you went through is pretty serious and it affects so many Muslim girls that have to conform to outdated traditions in the Islamist faith. Join in on the many young women that have experienced and will experience this trauma, speak out!

should i not care about masturbation? i want t it i miws it

Originally Posted by gesty4333

should i not care about masturbation? i want t it i miws it

I think it's absolutely reasonable and okay to miss masturbation. You underwent a serious trauma tied into not just your bodily autonomy, but your sexuality, sense of sexual pleasure, and exploration of self. That's a lot to struggle to cope with, and it's okay to be where you are at in dealing with that process, even if that's mostly missing masturbation.

My hope is that you'll take whatever time you need for yourself to recover and come to grips with many of the complicated emotions you might be feeling. You are not alone, but that does not mean you have to seek out others right now, or speak out publicly about the horrors of female circumcision. I would honestly be surprised if you were in a place to do so now, as it is still so fresh and you are still probably in a great deal of shock. It will be a long process to healing, both physically and emotionally. Beyond minimizing the risks of physical infection, and making sure your wounds are healing okay, I don't think you need to worry too much about speaking out on behalf of all the women who undergo this atrocity. Let yourself heal at your own pace, and seek out others who have undergone this same experience when you are ready. It could be helpful to be able to speak to others who can relate, but don't feel pressure to do that now if it's not something you are ready for.

Please, focus on taking care of yourself, and remember, it's okay to be wherever you are at in this healing and recovery process.

[charlengifford]

You must firstly speak with them, and explain that you don't want that.

[gesty4333]

Originally Posted by charlengifford

You must firstly speak with them, and explain that you don't want that.

too late, I'm already circumcised