TeenHelp - Triggering (Abuse): Is this really rape?

TeenHelp (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/)

- Rape and Abuse (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f13-rape-abuse/)

- - Triggering (Abuse): Is this really rape? (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f13-rape-abuse/t144465-really-rape/)

Is this really rape?

Okay, when I was seven my dad started dating this girl, we'll call her s. Well, s had a daughter.... N. well N and I had to share a room because the house was small. Well, anyway, N called me over to her bed, and told me to 'touch her chest' I was only seven, I thought it was normal, (I know now that it wasn't) so I did it. Then she literally threw me off the top bunk (her bed).

About two weeks after that, The whole family spend the night at my dad's friends house. N and I had to share a room. She forced me to kiss her, and she touched me in places that I've never let anyone else near. I cried, and had a panic attack, but she wouldn't stop no matter what I did.

After she was done, she told me that if I ever told anyone, she would kill my family. After a couple months my dad broke up with s, but I never told him what happened.

Would this really be considered rape since we are both females? Please help me, I need answers.

Re: Is this really rape?

The sex of someone doesn't matter when it comes to sexual assault. Assault does not discriminate.

It all depends on how old N was. If N was significantly older than you, old enough to know about sex, but under the age of eighteen, then this was child-on-child sexual abuse. Normally, this type of abuse is when older children who are aware of what they are doing abuse younger children. But child-on-child sexual abuse doesn't have a lot of information out there that I am aware of and the lines could be blurry if that makes sense. If she was an adult, it was abuse as well.

If N was the same age or younger, I highly doubt she knew what she was doing. Children do experiment, but they generally don't force other children into things and they don't know a lot of things about sex. If they do, that indicates that someone has likely abused them. Sometimes, abusers will force children to do sexual things to each other for their own pleasure and that could have happened to N. It sounds to me like N was abused and wasn't aware that the behavior was wrong, and was just doing what she knew but was doing it with you.

Re: Is this really rape?

the definition of rape is basically nonconsensual penetration of any kind. so if she did finger you, then technically it could be considered rape.

however, rape is more commonly associated with actual sex (but who can define "actual sex" these days anyways?)

honestly, i think what you experienced would fit more appropriately under the category of sexual abuse or molestation.

i'm very sorry to hear you have gone through this, and if you want to talk i will be there to listen, just drop me a PM. (i've recently gone through a series of situations all too familiar to this one, which eventually lead up to being raped, so trust me when i say that i know what you're going through and that i am deeply sorry.
even though this might've happened years ago, it can still have a profound effect on you mentally and emotionally. i wish there was more i could do or say to help, but what will really help you the most is thinking this out by yourself and working it out in a way that you can accept what happened and move on.)

Re: Is this really rape?

Thank you, and she was MUCH older than me. She knew better.
-Bianca DiAngelo