prostitution, rape, and money

[jakal]

So I've recently hit hard times and had to rely on prostitution to support myself and my brother. The other week i met a mysterious man who brought me into his house and offered me a job(which is hard to come by where i am) in order to get me out of prostitution. He was very nice and helpful at first, washed my clothes, fed me. Then i smoked some of his weed, got stoned out of my mind and Began to panic thinking he'd slipped something in the joint...i got more comfortable with him and ended up having sex with him(consensual) he was gentle and caring(so i thought). The next time i went over we had sex again. I never told him to stop i never said no and i wanted it...until he was in me and told me that if i told him to stop that time, he wouldn't and that his friend wanted to watch. I'm so confused and unsure about him right now. I've always been into role play and i know he is but we've never discussed safe words before and being autistic, i couldn't tell if he was serious or not. I just didn't think it safe to do anything but go along with it. Would this be rape?

[Sophrosyne]

If you agreed to it then it wouldn't be but as soon as soon as you start to disagree with doing it and he kept going, then it would become rape because you don't agree to it and it would be forced after that point. It doesn't sound like he is trying to get you out of prostitution, but in fact further into it. You probably already know this but prostitution is never a good idea to begin with and it is really hard to get out of it once you start but you're at that age that you can decide that for yourself. Don't forget you can always ask other people for help if you need it.

Good luck with everything.

[Celyn]

Hey there,

Did the man let you smoke the weed before you had sex? If he did, that doesn't count as consent to sex because you were under the influence of the weed, and so that may have been rape. As for the second time, even though you didn't say 'no', did you say yes? A lot of people think that if they don't say 'no' then they consented- but that's not true either. As you said, you didn't feel safe and didn't know what to do, so you may have felt scared to say 'no' and pressured to go along with it- which is rape or at least abusive, if you weren't 100% comfortable in continuing.

I think you should stay away from this guy in the future. It's worrying that he said he wouldn't have stopped, and that his friend wanted to watch too, but didn't tell you this beforehand. You're also right about using safe words in role play too. As Hilary said, there is no shame in asking others for help, even financially. Do you have anyone to talk to about this? It's natural to find these situations confusing and it can help a lot being able to talk about it, or at least write down your feelings.

Take care

[jakal]

I smoked the weed before sex and was high as a kite the whole time...it was around 60% thc. As for the second time, this was after he'd found out that I'm autistic, and, frankly, i was scared for my life after he said he wouldn't stop.

[Not_here]

The fact that he knew you're autistic is an alarming red flag for me. I was going to ask if he knew before you posted that part. I'm so sorry you have gone through this. Best thing is to stay away from him. But now that that is said, is it possible to get disability income to help support yourself and brother? Maybe that is something to look into so you don't get youself harmed with anymoee of these kinds of people?

[jakal]

Originally Posted by Sad-eyed slime

The fact that he knew you're autistic is an alarming red flag for me. I was going to ask if he knew before you posted that part. I'm so sorry you have gone through this. Best thing is to stay away from him. But now that that is said, is it possible to get disability income to help support yourself and brother? Maybe that is something to look into so you don't get youself harmed with anymoee of these kinds of people?

I'm high functioning, and autism only reviews SSI if it's low functioning. I also no longer recieve food stamps, which means i can't eat unless I'm committing some kind of crime to pay for it until i manage to get a job.

[Not_here]

Originally Posted by jakal

I also no longer recieve food stamps, which means i can't eat unless I'm committing some kind of crime to pay for it until i manage to get a job.

I don't want to get off topic, as this thread isn't about food stamp. But please keep in mind that it is your right to receive food stamp if you are unable to obtain food on your own. A lot of people are being denied food stamp even though they're eligible. We can talk more about this in PM if you'd like though.

[Skyline]

This guy is taking advantage of your situation. I agree with Susan: you should definitely stay away from this. The fact that he said he wouldn't stop... big red flag.

Good luck! And sorry you're having to go through this...

Skye