TeenHelp - Raped by my uncle?

TeenHelp (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/)

- Rape and Abuse (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f13-rape-abuse/)

- - Raped by my uncle? (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f13-rape-abuse/t134952-raped-my-uncle/)

Raped by my uncle?

My uncle was babysitting me while my mom is on a business trip. He was a last resort, since I met him once when I was 2. But she had been away for a week. 3 days ago, my uncle grabbed my butt while I was clearing the dishes. I smacked his hand away, and dropped my plate on my foot and it started bleeding really bad. Then he got all mad at me for getting blood on the floor. He grabbed me and took me into the bathroom and threw me into the bathtub. By this time I was screaming, and he punched me in the face and started taking my clothes off. He took his pants off too and forced me to to have sex with him. I can't say the other word. After he did that he took out 2 big metal things and shoved them into my butt and vagina. Then he grabbed my head and did it in my mouth. I called my mom that late that night when he was sleeping and told her the story. I called the cops, and he was arrested. But now, I can't even handle being in the same room with an adult guy I don't know very well, or anyone that looks remotely like my uncle. I can't talk with my friends or family without crying. I haven't been getting very much sleep at night because of nightmares. I feel really depressed, no matter how much people try to cheer me up. I haven't turned any of my homework or work in at school because I keep having flashbacks. I don't know what to do. I feel like if I have no control, then why should I keep doing this. I keep thinking of painful ways to kill myself. Can anyone help?

Re: Raped by my uncle?

Hi there!

I'm so sorry that you had to go through such an awful experience but I'm really glad that you told someone about it. That alone shows how courageous you are! Never forget your courage, okay?

Seeing as your mom is aware of what you've been through, do you think you can talk to her and see if getting some counseling is an option? Counseling would really help you out. You need to get what you've been through and your feelings surrounding it out in the open to heal from it. A professional can help and support you while you process everything that you've endured. Here is a great resource that you can use to find a therapist in your area. I found my therapist on here and hopefully you can find one too!

It's completely understandable to be fearful of men right now. It's common in people that have been through things like this. Just try to remember that not every man is like your uncle; not every man is going to hurt you like you were hurt before.

Seeing as you've been through a lot lately it can't hurt to take some time off from school so you can take care of yourself. Do you think your mom would let you take some time off? If not, perhaps you can consider talking to your school counselor (or someone you trust at school) about this and how it's affecting your schoolwork. You only have to say what you're comfortable with, and hopefully you'll get some leeway if you decide to talk to someone at school about this.

Flashbacks can be tough to deal with sometimes. I think it might be better for you to work through them rather than try to prevent them, though. Try to remind yourself that you survived and you're in the present; you're safe now. Do you know of any grounding techniques? You can stomp your feet, hold a conversation with someone, sing loudly, or hug a stuffed animal.

As for your nightmares, I suggest keeping a journal beside your bed and documenting them if you have any. Perhaps you can sleep with a dim lamp or a nightlight on; that's helpful for some. Also consider watching some humorous things before falling asleep or thinking back to a memory that you're fond of.

You didn't have control of what your uncle did to you, but you still have control over other things in your life. :) Overall, my best advice for you is to healthily release your feelings and talk to other people about what you're going through. If you feel like you're going to hurt yourself, go to your local medical center or call one of these hotlines.

Please feel free to send me a message if you ever need anything.

Re: Raped by my uncle?

:hug: that was a bad experience. but i reassure you, not all the guys you meet will be like that. The ones who are loving and nice actively hate rapists and will want nothing better than to see them jailed, or brought to justice. I think that you can slowly move on from this experience .. and maybe slowly overcome your trauma and flashbacks. Of course, i know it won't be simple. but it can be done. What happened in the past remains in the past, and you can overcome your painful memories of it. I know that a lot of other people have went through similar experiences, and they're all much happier now. It's going to be the same for you.. stay strong. :hug:

I think that you should actually get into more calming, peaceful stuff.. like humor movies and calming music, and doing happy healthy things like playing with friends, and enjoying yourself. Stay safe :)

You deserve to be happy, and i think that nothing will start off your happiness than a smile.. so here's hoping that's what my response will give you.