was i raped?

[applejacks1234]

Okay so here it goes...
one of my best friends (he's a boy), has been flirting with me for over a year now. and i just keep reminding him that he HAS A GIRLFRIEND. He asks me for nudes constantly and he asks me to suck his dick constantly. This summer, i was drunk and sent him pics of my boobs on snapchat and he screenshotted it when he promised he wouldnt. I yelled at him because he took advantage of me when i wasnt in a normal state. We recently started talking again and i have been having alot of family problems, along with depression and anxiety. i have days when i do not think clearly.

2 weeks ago, we hung out and went for a ride in his car. he asked me to suck his dick, and i said no. he was constantly asking me, while he pulled into a parking lot and stopped his car. i kept telling him "this is so wrong, i cant do this" and he kept saying, "yes you can!" as he pulled his dick out. he kept saying "it will be quick ill drive you back when youre done and you wont get home late." finally, he pressured me to the point that i gave in even though i was totally against it. he also made me promise not to tell anyone what we did. so now i had this huge secret that even if i could tell my best friend, i wouldnt because i was so ashamed. we did not talk since then.

EXCEPT... yesterday, i was very upset because i did not want to go home to my family because all they do is fight and drag me into it. I was not having a good day and i was practically crying. he saw me from a distance and called me over to him, and asked me if i wanted to talk about it. before we left the parking lot, we saw his friend pull up next to his car. his friend does not like me and he saw me in the car. we drove away and he told me that i should suck his dick to get my mind off of things. i told him 'no, i didnt want to do that again, it was wrong, he had a girlfriend, and i regretted everything.' he told me that it would be good for me because it would get my mind off of things and it would be like rebelling against my parents. i said no again. then, he started driving back because he said if i didnt he would drop me back off at school because he had to leave. i still wanted to talk to him about this though because i had nobody else to talk to, (and keep in mind, i wasnt thinking normal) so i once again, sucked his dick. we were in a parking lot at a park near school, and three of his friends pulled up and saw him. he made me duck so they couldnt see it was me, so all they saw was him, in his car, getting his dick sucked by someone. i was mortified. i started having a panic attack. i kept saying "they deffenately saw me. theyre going to tell the whole school. i dont know what to do now." and he just drove to another street and told me to continue sucking his dick. i told him i couldnt because now i felt like i was going to throw up, so he just told me to give him a hand job instead. He wasnt leaving until he was finished. so i
did. He PROMISED me it would be fine.

So last night, i saw on twitter one of the guys who saw us tweeted "i cant believe i saw ******** getting his dick sucked after football" and everyone wanted to know who he was with. His friend who saw me in the car with him tweeted "i know who it was" and i still dont know who he told, but at least he didnt tweet my name." i texted my friend and told him that this was his fault he promised me nothing would happen. i told him i NEVER wanted to do anything with him in the first place and he pressured me. he texted all the other guys involved and told them not to bring anything up. but all day in school i have been getting talked about and laughed at and i get little side comments in the hall from all the jerks.

that aside, i dont know what to do. i feel humiliated, not just because people know now, but because i was so badly pressured into doing stuff i NEVER wanted to do (espicially with him, because he's been with a lot of girls and i dont know if he has any STI's or anything, which is also another big concern of mine.) but i dont know what this would qualify as... like would it be rape? acquaintance rape? would it just be sexual harassment? or would it be totally my fault and im just a slut?

AND WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO TELL MY PARENTS?? I dont even want to tell them. this is such a disaster.

please, help me know where to go from here??? thankyou -xoxo

[hocus pocus]

Hi there,

Oral is a form of sex, so I believe what you have experienced is considered rape. You cannot consent if you aren't in the right state of mind, and that was clearly taken advantage of and you didn't want to perform any sexual acts either. People who force others into sexual acts thrive from secrecy. I suggest that you reach out to your parents immediately so this can be reported and actions can be taken against this "friend". Telling your parents about this won't be easy, however, none of this is your fault and you will not get into trouble for talking about what you've gone through. If you don't want to tell your parents verbally, perhaps you can write a note for them. You can also talk to a school counselor as well.

As for your "friend" I think you need to drop contact immediately. Block his number and his accounts on any social media sites if you're able to, and avoid him in situations when you have that option.

Take care of yourself.

[Chai.]

Hi there,

I totally agree with Cassie. None of this is your fault. What you experienced is considered rape since you were not in the right state of mind and this "friend" took advantage. I personally think you need to tell your parents so that some action can be taken against this guy to put an end to any future harassment. Talking to your parents won't be easy, but the earlier you tell about this to someone, the easier it will be to avoid further incidences like this. I strongly agree with Cassie, you should block his number and his accounts on social networking sites. You could also ask a trusted friend to be accompany you, in places where you are likely to bump into him, so that he will find it hard to talk to you.

Take care of yourself

Hey there,

We've talked briefly about this. I don't know what this would be considered as but I would like to say that your 'friend' did take advantage of your fragile state of mind. That alone should be enough for you to block contact with him. If you feel comfortable talking to your parents about this then you should but do so at a time when they are calm so that it doesn't result in an argument or anything like that. Hopefully they will be understanding of what happened but sometimes that doesn't happen and if that is the case as least you will be talking to them in a safe environment/time.

You did nothing wrong in regards to this situation you just met someone who wanted to take advantage of you. You need to get this person out of your life as soon as possible.

Stay safe and if you need anything please feel free to message me.