Triggering (Abuse): Rape and "Equality"

[Corrupted]

This is something I saw posted on another forum. The amount of neofundamentalist-conservatism embedded in it make me sick when I read it, but I'm interested in what you guys and gals think of what this person had to say:
--
It is often said that rape is "the worst thing that can happen to a woman." When trying to make men understand, they use prison rape as the analogy.

But this isn't equivalent. Prison rape has a homosexual component which is what makes it horrible.

If a woman were to rape a man in the heterosexual sense (physical impossibility, but let's suspend disbelief), he'd probably find it pretty cool (barring an HIV infection in the woman)

Thus, a double standard must necessarily exist, which implies a total lack of equality.

If someone insists there is equality despite the obvious double standard and we accept it as true, then logically a woman being all PTSDey after being raped is just so much narcissistic self-indulgence.

But then, if a woman descends into narcissism where a man does not, this implies that equality does not exist, again...


... and so on and so forth.

Discuss and pick apart the argument at your leisure, interested to hear what y'all think.
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[Catharsis.]

As a male victim, I do not by any means want to make excuses for myself, but a double standard of sorts does exist. Essentially, I'm a male victim of patriarchy, which is paradoxical. While I think the person behind the post is a bigot (notice the usage of terms like 'PTSDey'), I agree there is not equality, but for different reasons. Note how they appear to be saying that a man would not suffer PTSD, or, in their unsavoury terms, "descend into narcissism", and that the concept of a man doing so is preposterous. Neofundamentalism indeed. That's the problem right there.

Stigma against rape victims is rife as it is, but it seems like it's unheard of for a man to be raped outside of a prison cell. One cannot deny that the conservative expectations on men to be 'manly' exist, and a male victim can suffer just as much emotionally for their perceived failure to meet those expectations. But, hey, it's not like we have emotions anyway, right? Bottom line, rape isn't just amongst the worst things that can happen to a woman, it's amongst the worst things that can happen to anyone, regardless of their gender.

[PureStorm]

Hey there,
the post you found is absolutely disgusting. First and foremost, I find it sick that there's even a question such as "male or female rape -- which is more serious, which hurts the victim (more)?". As if this was a damn competition! Both are horrific and both deserve to be treated as serious crimes that can severely harm the victims!
Now on to the arguments of the post...

I've had a similar discussion with a family member.
I told her about the news about prison rape, and the numbers, and that it has been going on for decades before somebody even bothered to look into it.

You know what she said? "But they don't count". Yes, that's what she said. Sick. So in prison you are supposed to lose all your human rights that protect you from becoming victim of a crime.

About male victims of female perpetrated rape: it is being marginalized and hidden to the extreme. There is a double standard at work, and those who could change something about the situation say "if he got an erection he must have enjoyed it" and that he got lucky. This reflects in the criminal sentencing, where female perpetrators of rape get minimal prison sentences, if any at all.
It also reflects in the definition of rape, which, because why not, excludes the majority of male victims of female perpetrated rape:

“The penetration, no matter how slight, of the vagina or anus with any body part or object, or oral penetration by a sex organ of another person, without the consent of the victim.”

Yes, like with so many things affecting males, if the genders were reversed, society would be up in arms, outraged by this unfairness.
But sshhht...when it affects us...silence.

Have a look at this study .
Quote:

Sexual coercion is a pervasive problem but rarely examined in men. This study examined sexual coercion
and psychosocial correlates among 284 diverse adolescent and emerging adult males in high school and
college. Over 4 in 10 participants (43%) experienced sexual coercion: more specifically, the participants
reported: verbal coercion (31%, n 86), seduction coercion (26%, n 73), physical coercion (18% n
52), and substance coercion (7%, n 19).

It also proves that 1 in 5 males in high school / college have been raped at least once in their lifetime, 95% of them by female perpetrators. It goes on to say that said victims did not suffer the same self-esteem issues female victims suffer, but that they showed the same self-destructive behavior female victims of rape show, such as drinking and drug abuse.

Marginalizing these men's issues and hiding them drives forward the agenda to make it look like men = evil perpetrator, female = damsel, victim.

Men act, females are acted upon.

A good video explaining the system in place that must be changed if we want equal treatment for all victims/perpetrators of crimes such as rape and domestic violence:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A7e_rs-rf9I




And here somebody who will probably disagree with the post the OP copied and pasted here for discussion.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ikd0ZYQoDko

This is not a gendered issue, it's a human issue. Wake up, society!

Best regards,
R.
Men's Human Rights Activist

[Snufkin]

How someone reacts to trauma is different in every case. A person of any sex could be assaulted, and when one person brushes it off, another person will be terrified of going outside again. The PTSD arguments makes no sense to me, and I think any and all victims of rape ought to have the appropriate support in place to help them.

Men don't enjoy rape. Rape isn't sex. Sex is consensual. People enjoy sex. Rape is sexual assault, it is not wanted, if it were wanted then it wouldn't be rape. That's why "rape fantasy" makes no sense because by saying you want something like that then you are completely removing the rape aspect by showing consent. A man getting an erection while being raped is only similar to a woman getting wet while being raped, and neither of those show consent, not one bit.

There is an under-reporting of rape in general - it's acknowledged that rapes are under-reported and under-sentenced, because they're very hard to prove. Men are also embarrassed to come forward and say a woman sexually assaulted them because of society's patriarchal set up where men are supposed to be powerful and women weak, so the idea that a woman overpowered a man can be hard to admit to for some.

As for prison rape being disgusting more because of a homosexual element than a rape element. I don't even have to say anything to that do I? That's stupid. And I left out several expletives between "that's" and "stupid."

[Corrupted]

It's good to see that you guys think this guy's post is just as fucking disgusting as I thought it was when I first read it. When I initially addressed his post and pointed out the blatant fallacies inclosed within it, he responded that "reading comprehension must not be your strongest suit." Ad hominem? Also, some of his previous posts seemed to outline an extreme hatred of women, as he referred to them as "sluts" and "used up party girls" in every other sentence.

[PureStorm]

Jake,

some people...no, most people with such beliefs are hopelessly lost. You can't reach out to them. If you ever get any feedback from them, it will be denial of truth & ad hominem.
But it was really good of you to point out the bigotry. It's not the bigots you want to convince, but those who are neutral who will choose what statements look the most reasonable.
If you challenge them to public debates in person (for example), it is never your goal to convince each other, but to win the majority of the audience to your side. If they throw ad hominem your way, point out to the audience what they have just done.

Keep speaking up about bigotry no matter which gender it affects, as we are all human, and you are a human who has my respect, Jake.


Best regards,
R.
Men's Human Rights Activist

[Koharuchan]

All I have to say is: Ridiculous.

[Lelola]

I think the original poster of the post was imagining a male being raped by someone that they considered hot like thinking of a supermodel raping a man. They should consider a 60 year old woman who is not in shape raping an adult man via drugs and objects.

It is also not a physical impossibility to rape a man.

Also homosexuality rape does not make it worse. Rape is still rape. If a female raped another female, it would be just as bad as a female raping a guy or a guy raping a female.

Also rape isn't necessarily about the love feeling. It's about control. It's also traumatizing.

[CanadaCraig]

Hello

It seems to me that the 'original message' from the 'original poster' served its purpose. A 'wake-up' call if you will. Sometimes we need to be pushed in one direction to appreciate where we stand.

That said.... The purpose of writing is to communicate - not to impress. I'm guessing that the majority of those reading some of your messages failed to understand exactly what it was some of you were trying to say. And if that's the case - it was your failure to communicate - not their failure to understand.

GBH - Craig


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