Triggering (Suicide): Nearly Raped...

[palevamp]

I was almost raped two weeks ago. I was in the greenbelt near my house, smoking a cigarette (addiction issues, I know). And pretty much as soon as I put that cigarette out, this guy came out of nowhere. It was too dark to see his face, but I could tell he was tall and incredibly strong. He pinned me down, left some burns with his own cigarette, gave me some scratches and bruises. As he was unzipping his pants I guess, I somehow managed to escape. He began screaming things at me, such as, "you fucking bitch!", "don't be such a tease!". I ran the opposite direction of where my house was so he wouldn't know where I lived. But after a while, when I was sure he was gone, I found my way back to my house, and smoked another cigarette to calm down, and walked into my house as if nothing had happened. And no one knows about this because I simply don't want anyone to know. I simply sent teenhelp this right now because I know that I need to talk to someone about it, or I'll just explode... It seems like one would feel "hot" or something if one attempted to rape them. But I don't feel that way at all. I feel as if this happened because I was simply an easy target with a vagina. I feel like a complete piece of shit. And I'm scared and don't feel safe anywhere I go.
And I did send this to the helplink as well, but I thought I'd talk to the forums on here about this as well...
But, adding to this one: I've been extremely suicidal since this happened. But I especially don't want to tell anyone about this, because I happen to be extremely afraid of mental hospitals. I've had this fear since I was very small (had depression from a young age onward). Ugh, I don't know what to do...

[Fearless01]

I think the best thing to do is to tell someone. I know you don't want to, but it might be the only way to get over it. You shouldn't feel bad about it. It wasn't your fault. To prevent it from happening again I think you should have someone to go places with you. Rapists usually go after people who are by themselves. If nobody will go with you, carry something like an umbrella that's long enough to be used as a weapon from a distance. I'm really sorry this happened to you. Just remember that it's not your fault.

[THE FAPMAN]

Hi!
Im sorry for what happened to do, but it could happened to anyone, so its not your fault. And yeah, its smart to tell someone, i prefer someone who really really cares about you, and who wont tell anyone. Its smart if you dont go alone, but i doubt this will happen... But, just in case youre alone, have a peperspray or a electroshocker in your pocket... But dont worry, its not a big deal, untill you make a big deal out of it.
Life goes on, try to forget...
And dont go to dark ally if youre alone... If you need help, PM me, im literally 16 hours a say online... So im always here if you need to talk.

Stay strong!

P.S. sorry Christabel, i kinda stole that from you, but its so nice...

[Nomads]

You need to tell someone you know and trust. You can't get help without contacting them first. Talk to them and then sort something out between you and the person you told

[jhend.hardison]

I think you are in a trauma right now, certain things like that is really difficult. It would be better to talk to someone who you trust the most, of course one of it could be your parents, they could greatly understand you.

One thing, do not stay alone especially in the dark, we might not know what could happened to us.

[KeyofHeart]

Tell someone! It sounds scary because it's a traumatic situation and it might be hard to repeat but you need to. It will build up and it will make you feel terrible and worse, but I'm sure that if you tell someone you will recieve the right amount of sympathy, and support.

I'm SO sorry that this happened to you. Try not to go out to that area so much, because now the rapist knows where to find you. If you ever do go out alone again, carry something around you and be prepared and on the lookout. You can always carry a weapon for self defense, and I suggest lay low for a while.
I'm so sorry, stay strong, and we are all here to talk.
<3