Pregnant from Rape

[Not4you]

So lately everything is coming back to me. It happened over a year ago but I wasn't able to deal with the trauma that came along with being raped at that time since I got pregnant from the situation. I kept the baby and he 4 months old now and I absolutely love him! I am currently 20 years old and married. My boyfriend and I always knew we wanted to get married so when I found out I was pregnant we decided to get married and raise the child together. No one knows except my husband and a few other people that the baby isn't my his, not even our parents. My son is amazing and I'm so glad to have him in my life, but it isn't always easy. When I was pregnant, I pushed off all of the thoughts of what happened to my since I knew I needed to focus on my child and that is what I did. My husband can't touch my in a certain way or I would freak out, if i was out driving (since my rapist and I live in the same town) and I saw the same type of car he drove I would panic, if people would say that my son looks like my husband I would want to cry....now don't get my wrong, I love my son but it is tough raising him knowing how he was formed. I did think about abortion when it all happened but I have never once wished I had followed through with that. Sometimes the flashbacks get to me and I am worried that I can't take care of my son during those times. I feel like I can't breath and I panic and can't focus. I need to be there for my son when he needs me and being a mother means he should come first. I have talked to a doctor and she gave me some meds for anxiety and I have another appointment with her later this week to talk more so hopefully that will help.

Im sorry that was SUPER long but it gets tough holding everything inside. Not many people have gone through what I have (not saying that it is any worse than what other people deal with). I just need to vent.

[CorrieUSMC]

Hey Jenna,

I just wanted to say how strong you are, for going through all this. And welcome to the Site! I'm glad that your Husband and you have decided to raise the baby and such. I think the more you talk about it too your Doctor, the better it'll become, you need to vent about it more instead of keeping it bottled up.

We are always here at the TeenHelp Community to help you whenever you need it! =)

Take care,
~Corrie

[Kbug13]

I think you made an amazing decision for keeping that precious baby! my father raped me for several years. I never got pregnant, and I don't see him anymore. However I know how tough it is! I don't know the situation with your parents but it might help you feel closure by telling them the truth. You and your baby with be in my prayers! God bless, and I wish you the best.

[escape_thereal_world]

Jenna,

I agree it might help to tell your parents so they know. Have your husband there with you to help explain that he made the decision as well to keep the baby. Also, did you ever do anything with the police? A report? If not, you really should. Even though right now there may not be much evidence of rape, you can at least give them an idea to watch out for him. Or you could try for a restraining order. Those can take time, but he can't approach you or your son then. All you have to say is you were raped by him. Even if there is no evidence, you still have a chance to win.

Another suggestion is to install a dash cam on your car. This way if he ever does happen come up to the car to try anything, or just to taunt, then you have it on video or audio. I actually did something like this after I was mugged in my car, and the police did NOTHING despite me telling them exactly where they were and where they were going. So now, I have proof and hopefully an image of them if anyone ever tries anything like that again.

One other thing. The one thing I suggest every woman gets. Self-defense classes. There was one that was only women in my old town. The woman did it because two of her close friends had been raped. Since she used to be on the police force, she knew some moves and decided to teach women how to defend themselves. So she met with a karate teacher and they worked on moves together. Now they teach them for $40, and you have 4 sessions over the course of a couple months. They had a daycare for free where you just look out a glass window and see the children.

Perhaps you could find something like this?