How to get past being raped?

[CrystalJade]

When I was a kid I was sexually abused for maybe a year. Then a little over a year ago I was raped and they had left me bruised and scraped up. My cheek was bruised, there were hand prints on my wrists, my side's were bruised, arms and legs too, and I had a few cuts. I don't remember much though because I was passed out drunk and woke up with him on me. I found out this past year that I AM NOT A HORNY DRUNK either.

I've been having some issues since I was a kid but since last year it's gotten worse. I'll have a memory pop into my head and it'll stay there, I'll have what seems like a new memory of one of the events come up, things like that. I cry very hard when this happens. I thought I was at peace with what happened when I was a child but since last year its hard to be. I feel a heavy, sinking feeling in my chest and it makes hate myself even more.

So here's my question, how do you get past it? Past a lifetime of verbal abuse as well? One more question, do you think people who have been abused in the past have a higher chance of being abused later on (any kind of abuse)?

[Adam the Fish]

I'm really sorry to read this...really.
Anyway, I think you need to talk to someone - either a close friend, or a counsellor.

As far as likelihood goes, I'm not sure, I'm afraid.

[Delicious Chaos]

I don't think someone can ever get passed getting raped. It'll always haunt someone. I have a friend that was raped 12 years ago and she is now 20.... She still has moments where being raped haunts her.. I personally don't know because it hasn't happened to me but I don't know of someone who was raped and got over it. You can try to just put it in your past and just not be bothered it

As of your second question being raped or abused in the past doesn't make your chances of being raped or abused again. They are 2 separate cases but everyone should be careful with who they spend time with..

[Atychiphobia]

Hey, sorry to hear this happened to you; like others have said it's not exactly something you get over, more something you 'move on from' I was sexually abused amongst other things for years, and am still haunted by these memories and feelings. However, you can get to a point when it doesn't hurt so much to know that it happened, where you aren't triggered into flashbacks and/or nightmares and when you are you can deal with it better. I had a therapist tell me when I was a lot younger that our mind releases memories of trauma as it 'feels' we can deal with it, bit by bit and although it's awful when you get those memories, it means you have the chance to move on from them. You definitely need someone more professional to talk to.. Someone you can be open and honest with about the events, memories and feelings. About your second question, yes, it's known that people who have been sexually abused are slightly more likely to be raped and/or abused again.. but I'm not sure if thats the same for the other types of abuse. It's generally because after being sexually abused you feel like it's your fault, you caused it and that they couldn't help but treat you that way (sorry for generalising!!) and those beliefs typically mean it'd be a lot easier for that person to end up in another situation or relationship where they could be treated like that. PM me if you want someone else to talk to Always here x

[JamieRanai]

Ann,
Let me tell you first that you CAN overcome being raped. It's not something that you can right afterwards; and getting over it might even take months, or years. You yourself have to decide if you want to put it past you, or if you want to dwell on the past.
As a young gal, and well into my life I was sexually abused by various men, even my own family. It has been a year or two since the last incident. I felt disgusting, vile, that I was worse than the trash we would take to the dump. Although I am not proud of it, but I have tried to commit suicide. I felt that there was no hope for me. A friend of mine told me that if I wanted to look past it. The first thing that I would have to do was to forgive the men that abused me, only then could I begin to forgive myself, and quit feeling the way I did. One thing to do is to talk to people about it, to tell someone about it, not just your family members; but friends, even total strangers. This was the hardest thing for me to do, I was so embarrassed, and I didn't want people to think ill of me. Eventually, you will move on.

DON'T let this experience control you. You have to power to control your life, and what influences it.

[Ash!]

I know exactly how you feel, i have a very similar story, my ex has been drugging and raping me and i just found out because he tried to without drugging me. he said " ithought i would get away with it" ... i havent gotten over this yet but i have hope that maybe someday i will.. i wish i had something better to tell you